


Extinguished

by LokiofEarth



Series: Beacon [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Awesome Shuri (Marvel), Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Basically a continuation of the AU with an OC inserted in, Bridging the gap between Civil War and Infinity War, Childhood Trauma, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Dark, Drugs, Human Experimentation, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Clint Barton, Protective Sam Wilson, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Wanda Maximoff, Psychological Trauma, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Scott Lang is a Good Bro, Sensory Deprivation, Sokovia Accords, T'Challa (Marvel) Is a Good Bro, Team as Family, The Raft Prison (Marvel), Wrongful Imprisonment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 86,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24377728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiofEarth/pseuds/LokiofEarth
Summary: Harper finally found her family, and then Ross and The Accords ripped that away from her.Now she's got to learn to live in a world where people see her and the people she cares about as a threat, which is ironic considering that none of them are aware of the even bigger threat on the horizon.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Scott Lang, Sam Wilson & Clint Barton, Scott Lang & Sam Wilson, The Avengers - Relationship, Wanda Maximoff & Avengers Team, Wanda Maximoff & Original Female Character, original female character & the avengers
Series: Beacon [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1474337
Comments: 47
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

She almost does a double take when she wakes up. She figures it's because she's still not adjusted to her new environment. It's only been two days, after all. She's still not used to waking up surrounded by steel walls and reinforced glass.

Sitting up with a wince - the poor excuse for a bed in her cell is far from comfortable - she turns towards the glass of her cell, glancing over at the others as they all slowly begin to wake up. She notices Sam first, the man stretching out his long arms with a yawn, and she glances over at him, relieved to see him.

She's been locked up before, and whilst this time sucks just as much as the last time, at least this time she's not alone. She's reminded of that every time she sees one of the others. She's taking any and all of the small reassurances she can get right now.

"Morning." She says, adding with a smirk, "You know you snore really badly, right?"

Sam scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully, "Speak for yourself, kid. Even without any fancy hearing I can hear you from down the hall back home."

"That's not true!" She protests.

"I've heard it too." Wanda murmurs, sitting up after a short struggle and moving to sit on the end of her bed, and Harper quirks an eyebrow at the other girl.

"You too?"

She lets it go when she sees a small smile come to Wanda's face. It's only brief, but it's the best she's seen from the other girl since arriving here, so she'll take it.

"No nightmares?" Sam asks, hand coming up to the side of his still bruised head as he rises from his bed, beginning to pace around his cell as he does every morning.

Harper sighs, turning back to him, "Think I was too exhausted to have one."

Sam nods understandingly, and she appreciates him not pushing it any further. She's surprised she didn't have one, especially considering her thoughts are going at a mile a minute all the time, but she's also glad, because she doesn't really know how she's gonna cope when one inevitably hits.

If her exhaustion's enough to prevent them, then she's happy to be exhausted for as long as physically possible. Anything to keep them at bay.

"What time is it?" Scott asks, waking with a low groan and glancing over at them with bleary, tired eyes, hand pressed to the side of his head as he looks around.

Sam shrugs as Scott sits up, "How are we supposed to know, Tic-Tac?"

"Don't you have a superpower for that?" Scott questions, glancing over at Harper, and the girl looks back at him with a peculiar expression.

She's come to realize that Scott's quite the eccentric person. She hasn't known him long enough to form a full opinion of him, but so far he's given off quite the interesting impression. He sorta reminds her of a kid - of herself in a sense - because of some of the peculiar things he says.

Regardless, it's nice to have someone who can hold a lighthearted conversation around. It's kinda been hard for the rest of them to do that as of late, and Harper has a feeling that they'd be struggling with morale if Scott weren't around.

"It wouldn't exactly be very useful." She responds.

He shrugs, "It'd save you money on a watch."

"Tic-Tac's got a point." Clint grunts in between his morning push ups, and Harper's almost startled by his voice because she hadn't even noticed that he had woken up yet.

She still doesn't understand how he can exercise so early in the morning, but he's kinda made a habit out of it at this point. Wanda tells her that he's been doing it every morning since they all first arrived.

"But where would you even use that power?" She questions, glancing back to Scott, "Who could you help?"

"An old lady."

She quirks an eyebrow, perplexed, "An old lady?"

"Yeah!" He insists, "If she's walking back from the grocery store and she needs to know what the time is, you could help her."

"But you'd have a phone or a watch on you!"

He shrugs, "Not if you left them both at home."

"I'd just teleport home and get them." She responds, trying not to look at Scott with pure disbelief.

Sometimes she really can't understand some of the stuff that Scott comes out with no matter how hard she tries, and she's supposed to be able to understand everything.

"I meant to ask you about that. How does that whole teleportation thing work?" Scott asks, sitting forward slightly in interest, and she quirks an eyebrow again.

"What do you mean?"

"Like how do you do it?"

She shrugs. She's never really been asked this before. "I sorta just picture where I want to go and I go there." She explains.

"So you could go to the Moon if you pictured it?" Scott asks, tone excitable, and it's then that Harper realizes his question is less hypothetical and more idealistic.

She shrugs, "I mean, I've never tried, but theoretically, yes."

"That's awesome!" Scott replies excitedly.

Sam laughs, moving up the glass of his cell and glancing over at Clint, "Hey, Barton! Tic-Tac's fanboying again!"

"Oh, here we go!" Clint jokes, finishing off his exercises and glancing over at Harper with a smirk, "Careful, kid. He's gonna be asking for your autograph soon."

Harper laughs, and the comment even makes Wanda smile briefly. Scott looks less amused by Clint's comment, his face flushing red as he retreats to the back of his cell.

"Oh, come on, Tic Tac!" Sam calls, laughing, "We're just playing with you!"

"Someone's coming." Harper says suddenly, pausing when she hears the familiar sound of footsteps approaching the cell room.

She's gotten used to the sound.

"Good! Time for our regularly scheduled shit!" Clint remarks, "Also known as breakfast!"

There's no argument there. The food here is pure shit. She wasn't expecting it to be world class, but she thought it'd be more than the crap they keep giving them. It's edible, and that's describing it nicely.

She straightens up, excited for the poor excuse for food on the simple basis that she's starving, and she can tell that the others are excited for the exact same reason. They expect to see the regular guards who bring in their meals, except that's not who steps into the room from behind the steel door.

Instead, it's Secretary Ross, dressed in a pale grey suit that matches his greying hair and facial hair. He holds a stoic expression as he comes inside along with two armed guards, though the corner of his lip soon quirks up into an amused, cruel smirk as he glances around at them all, looking out at him from within their cells like animals trapped in cages.

Harper's always said that she doesn't like the guy, and that hasn't changed. She hates him even more now.

"I see you're all becoming accustomed to your new...living arrangement." He sneers, standing with his chest puffed out and shoulders squared. Harper figures it's him trying to show his smug authority.

"Now that you mention it, I've got a couple of suggestions." Clint quips cooly, not remotely fazed by the Secretary's attempt at dominance, and Harper has to suppress a laugh at the mans casual tone. Classic Clint. "You ever thought about putting a fountain in? It'd really liven up the place." He suggests, casually gesturing to the middle of the room.

Ross doesn't give him a verbal response, though Harper can see his dark eyes narrow in frustration, and the guards at his side tighten their grips ever so slightly on their guns. Clint's unfazed by both responses as Ross moves on, coming to a stop alongside his guards directly outside Harper's cell, and the girl squares herself as the man stands on the other side of the glass, arms crossed.

"I assume you're adjusting well." He says, and she knows he's trying to get a rise out of her. He takes a step closer to the glass, lowering his voice threateningly and mockingly, "Should all be quite familiar, hmm? The restrictions, the cell, the lack of freedom. You've seen it all before, haven't you?"

She glares at him, desperately trying to contain her frustration because she knows what he's referencing, and it's something he has no right to talk about. She doesn't even know how he knows about it.

"What do you want, Dickwad?"

She feels the electricity course through her as she drops to the floor, convulsing on the cold steel as it surges through her. She's aware of someone yelling at him to stop - she thinks it might be Sam - and when it finally does she's lying on the floor gasping for air as Ross peers through the glass at her, watching with a form of grim satisfaction on his face.

It makes her sick.

"Co-operation, Harper. Compromise and co-operation. That's all I've wanted from the start." He says simply.

Harper resists the urge to scoff as she staggers to her feet, standing opposite him once again as the guards tighten the grip on their guns again. She doesn't understand why they bother. She can't get through the glass without her strength.

"No offense, but what you want isn't exactly on my lists of priorities right now."

"Maybe not, but I know what is." He says warningly, taking another step closer to the glass and lowering his tone once again, "I'm going to ask you once: are you willing to cooperate?"

The answer's a clear, definitive 'no'. No she's not willing to cooperate with him, because he took her from her home and threw her in here, and he was the one who introduced the Accords to her family and tore it apart. He's the last person on Earth that she wants to cooperate with.

She shrugs, "Depends. Are you willing to not be a jackass?"

She doesn't get another shock like she was expecting. A shock would be the obvious response to her snarky comment, but it never comes. Instead, Ross smirks. He smirks and he turns towards the guard, stating simply, "Take her."

The guards turn away without a word as Ross remains planted outside her cell, and at first Harper's confused as to where they're going, but then she realizes what cell they're heading towards and her panic begins to settle in.

She watches as they haul Wanda to her feet and remove her from her cell, and Harper begins to hit the glass of her cell frantically as Wanda looks over at her, eyes wide with terror, "Hey! Leave her alone!"

The guys are yelling too, cursing at the guards to leave Wanda alone, because they know this isn't just a routine trip to the showers like normal. They're yelling just as much as Harper, but it doesn't change anything as the guards drag Wanda out of the room, completely ignoring their protests.

"Like I said: all I want is co-operation." Ross tells Harper as she looks back over at him, eyes filled with pain and anger. He doesn't take notice of either. "You compromise with me, and I'll do the same for you." He states.

Harper smashes her hand on the glass. He doesn't even flinch. "You touch her and I'll never do what you say, you hear me?!" She warns threateningly.

"We'll see." Ross responds, and then he turns on his heel and walks out of the room, and the panic overwhelms her when the steel door slams shut behind him.

"W-what was that about?" Scott asks, expression both perplexed and concerned, "Why'd he take her?"

Harper slumps down onto the end of her bed, defeated and panicked to the point of numbness, "I don't know."

She doesn't know what Ross wants with Wanda, but she doesn't like this at all. She doesn't like it one bit, because she promised to protect Wanda and she just keeps putting her in danger, and even it is unintentional it doesn't change the fact that she keeps doing it.

"W-what do you mean you don't know?" Scott questions, confused, "Harper, I thought-."

"I don't know, Scott!" She snaps, turning towards him with a sharp glare, "I don't know, okay?! I don't know everything!"

Scott backs down, fear and surprise striking his kind face, and she instantly feels bad. She knows he wasn't trying to interrogate her - he's only concerned, and she doesn't blame him.

Even Sam and Clint seem surprised, both men pausing and looking over at her with cautious expressions, and she sighs defeatedly, wringing her hands together nervously, "I-I'm sorry, Scott. I didn't mean to be an asshole."

Scott nods, though he still looks somewhat wary, and that only makes Harper's heart sink to the pit of her stomach. She really didn't mean to snap at him.

"Talk to us, kid." Clint says, "What's going on?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. He wants me to compromise."

"Compromise?" Sam questions, perplexed, and she nods.

"Not a clue what I'm compromising on though."

* * *

They bring Wanda back in about half an hour later, discarding her limp, shaking body back into her cell with ease before locking it tight again, and Harper watches in horror as the girl scrambles to the back of her small cell immediately, clearly frightened.

"Wanda, what happened?" Sam questions, rushing over to the glass of his cell and peering over at the shaking girl, watching as she draws in on herself more and more as he speaks. His heart clenches at the sight.

Harper feels the exact same way, the guilt really setting in when she notices the haunted look in Wanda's eyes.

"Talk to us, kid. Come on." Clint says softly, trying to catch Wanda's attention, and Harper's gut twists when the other girl finally responds shakily.

"P-pain." She murmurs, rocking herself back and forth as she hugs her legs tightly, "It was horrible."

Her gut twists and her blood boils, and she's too focused on Wanda to even notice the steel door opening, and it's only when Ross moves directly in front of her that she tears her eyes away from her shaken friend.

"I hope that the current state of Miss Maximoff has allowed you to realize the reality of your situation." He says.

She glares at him, tone low and threatening and sincere, "I'm going to kill you."

There's no question about it. The second she's got her strength back, she's going to kill him. He's going to pay for what he's done.

"All of this could've been prevented with a compromise." He tells her, turning and glancing around at the others as he adds, "None of you would be here if you compromised."

Sam narrows his eyes, "You mean if we backed down even and let you treat us like a bunch of common criminals?"

"Why do you think you're here, Wilson?" Ross responds, "You assisted Rogers in aiding the escape and refuge of a terrorist. To me, that makes you a criminal. Some of you already were beforehand."

She doesn't understand what he's talking about at first, but then she hears a heart beat jump. It's Scott. She doesn't say anything as Clint scoffs at the Secretary.

"You know that torture's a crime, right?" He questions, "You are aware of that, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't call it torture, Barton." Ross replies, shrugging,"The term we use here is persuasion. Harper chose not to co-operate, so we had to try and persuade her."

She's going to kill him. He's a sick bastard if he thinks any of this is okay.

"You didn't exactly tell her what she's supposed to be co-operating with."

Ross sighs, beginning to pace in a circle around the room of cells, "With The Avengers defunct, the world needs protection. It needs a controlled task force to cope with threats when necessary. It needs individuals that will listen to the orders given to them."

Sam scoffs, catching onto what all of them are beginning to realize, "You need soldiers."

"Uh, quick question, but, uh, don't you already have those? A whole army of them?" Scott questions, perplexed, as Ross passes his cell, and the Secretary doesn't dignify him with a response as he comes back around to Harper's cell, stopping outside the glass once again and looking at her pointedly.

It doesn't take long for him to figure out what he's trying to explain. It's simple once you put two and two together. It's also horrifying.

"And what if I refuse?" She questions, and he shrugs.

"We'll be forced to explore other avenues." He says nonchalantly, casting a brief glance over at the shaking girl in the cell across the room before looking back to her, small, satisfied smirk plastered across his face, "Our options are limited, but we'll have to make do."

She feels her own heart beat pick up out of panic, because she knows exactly what he means when he says that. She knows what he's implying and what he's planning on doing, and there's no way in hell she's putting Wanda in that position when she can prevent that.

"I'll do it."

He smiles, clearly satisfied by her response, and he takes a step closer to her cell, "I'm glad we could come to an agreement."

Her glare intensifies, and she tries to swallow the lump building at the back of her throat as she stares back at the man, perhaps hoping to show some form of defiance.

He doesn't seem remotely fazed by it.

"We start tomorrow." He announces before turning and leaving, and as soon as the steel door shuts behind him, she feels the eyes of everyone else in the room land on her.

She turns away from them, hoping that it'll conceal the fear and pain beginning to show on her exhausted face, because she's terrified by what she's just agreed to.

"Tomorrow? What are you starting tomorrow?" Sam questions, confused and concerned.

She ignores him, taking a seat on the end of her bed, keeping her back turned away from them all as they continue to look at her expectantly.

"Harper?"

"I've got it sorted, Sam." She replies quietly, facing the steel wall opposite her with fearful eyes, "Trust me."

"Harper, y-!"

"I've got it, Sam!" She snaps, voice cracking despite her attempts to stop it, and he does, despite the fact that she can tell he doesn't want to.

He's compromising for her. They all are.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So if I'm honest, I'm not really sure how inspired I am to write anymore. Idk I just feel like no one really wants to read the story, and I kinda feel like my writings only getting worse as I go on.
> 
> I finished this chapter quite some time now so I'm publishing it, though I'm not sure when they next one will be out as I'm not sure when I'll be inspired to write again. Until then, I hope you guys enjoy anyway.

Harper wakes with a start, eyes snapping open and stinging slightly as they do. She brings a hand up to her face, and she can't tell if it's sweat or tears that her hand comes into contact with, and she slumps down from her bed onto the cool metal floor, instantly regretting her decision when her shivering body makes impact with the hard floor.

She blinks rapidly, chest heaving as she tries to adjust to her surroundings and force the images away from her mind, and for a second she forgets where she is. She forgets where she is, and she expects Nat to run in, and if not her at least Steve, but then she sees her pale, terrified reflection in the glass of her cell door and she realizes that neither of them are here.

She instead sees Clint, sat up on his own bed with a concerned expression that almost seems foreign on his usually composed face. The others are asleep, but he's not, and he looks surprisingly alert.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me." He says in a hushed, calm tone, and she blinks wearily, trying to focus on him through her bleary, tired eyes. "That's right, kid. You're okay. You're safe." He says reassuringly as she finally focuses on him, and she forces herself to sit up, drawing her knees up to her chest as she glances over at the man.

He looks worried - far too worried for Clint - and it's scaring her.

"W-what happened?" She asks, voice shaking.

"You were crying in your sleep." He replies. He grips the back of his neck with his hand, sighing. "Nightmare?" He asks, though she figures he already knows the answer.

She nods, "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"I'm just glad you didn't wake him up. He's cranky in the mornings." Clint remarks, nodding towards Sam, who's still snoring loudly in his own cell. Harper smiles briefly, and so does Clint, but then the smiles go away again. "You have 'em a lot, don't you?" He asks.

She hesitates for a second. It feels odd to talk to Clint about this stuff. She hasn't seen him much in the past year - he's understandably been occupied with his family - so she hasn't exactly been in a position where she could talk to him about this stuff. She'd normally go to Nat first, Steve second, and then either Sam or Wanda. Talking about this stuff with Clint is foreign territory.

But she can see the concern in his eyes, and she feels like he's going keep prying if she doesn't let some of it off of her chest, so she relents.

"I was starting to push through them. See a therapist." She admits, leaning forward to place her chin atop her knees as she glances over at him, "I felt like I was starting to get my mind under my own control again, but then-."

"Then you ended up in this shit hole?" He questions, and she nods, quirking an eyebrow at him. He shrugs, adding, "Might as well say it how it is."

He's not wrong technically. This place really is a shit hole. HYDRA was bad, but the reality of this situation is far worse. There, she was a hostage. Here, she's classed as a criminal. They all are, and she hates it because it's not true.

At least not in her eyes.

"I wish they'd take that straitjacket off of her." She remarks, casting a glance over in Wanda's direction. The girl's sleeping soundly, though Harper doesn't understand how given the jacket. It's restrictive and likely beyond uncomfortable. Harper hates seeing it on her. "I-I mean, those things are meant for crazy people, and if anyone here is crazy, it's me, not her." She says, glancing back over at Clint with a sigh.

He shrugs, quipping, "I don't know, kid. Tic Tac's missing a few screws."

"He's harmless. And he's a good person." She remarks, casting a glance over at Scott and smiling when she sees he's sleeping contently. "He didn't have to get involved in this. It wasn't his fight to lose."

"Don't let him hear you say that. His fanboy side will freak out." Clint jokes, "You should've seen him when he first met Cap."

She smiles, though it's strained, and Clint quickly realizes his mistake. She stands up before slumping back down onto her bed - it's uncomfortable, but it beats the steel floor - as Clint looks at her cautiously.

She figures he expects her to either break down or lash out. She does neither.

"I miss him."

She misses Steve. She misses Mr Stark, and Rhodey, and even Vision. She misses things being normal and she misses her home and her family being together. She misses Nat, and she misses having someone to hug or even high five.

She just misses life being what it was.

"I know." Clint replies, "And I know we're not the same as them, but you've still got us. And you've got Tic Tac now too."

She smiles, appreciative of his support more than he realizes. She hates it here for obvious reasons, but the fact that she has the others here with her makes it at least somewhat bearable.

"You ever gonna stop calling him that?" She asks, smirking.

Clint shrugs, "Not much else we can do for fun around here."

"I wouldn't piss him off. He could kick your ass."

If Leipzig was any indication of what Scott's capable of, then he's a far greater threat than he seems to be. You'd think a superhero going by the name 'Ant-Man' wouldn't be able to pack much of a punch, but Scott proves you wrong on that front.

"Nah." Sam says suddenly, startling both Harper and Clint, as he moves to sit up on his bed, stretching his tired arms, "They took his suit. He can't turn into a Tic Tac without it."

"Morning, sunshine! Nice of you to join the world!" Clint quips sarcastically, and Harper smirks when she sees the perturbed expression on Sam's face.

"It's hard to stay asleep when you won't shut up." Sam responds crankily.

Clint glances back over at Harper, knowing expression on his face, "See what I told you?"

Harper grins, a genuine smile crossing her face. Sam and Clint have an interesting dynamic, and they sorta remind her of a couple of bickering kids, but watching them annoy each other is kinda amusing.

"How are they still out?" Sam asks, nodding towards the only two still sleeping, and Clint shrugs.

"She's exhausted, and he sleeps through everything. Even your obnoxious snoring."

She hears Sam snap back at Clint for his comment, though she doesn't pay much attention to what he specifically says, mostly because her thoughts soon get drawn back to her nightmare.

It was bad. She was back in Leipzig - right before it all fell apart. It mostly panned out as normal, except Steve and Bucky didn't get away, and Ross and his men didn't only take in Cap's team. They took Peter and Nat too, and when she tried to find Mr Stark, he was the one who got shot down instead of Rhodey. She couldn't find Rhodey or Vision, and even T'Challa was gone, and it wasn't long until she was the only one left in the airport.

She woke up just as she hit the ground, gunshot wound tearing a hole through her back. She never got to see who fired the gun, but she's got an idea of who it could've been.

"What are you thinking about, kid?" Sam asks suddenly, catching her off guard, and he nods knowingly when she looks at him, perplexed, "Yeah. Don't think I didn't notice that look on your face."

"She had another one."

Clint fills in the blanks for her, and Sam understands instantly.

"How bad?" He asks, heart clenching.

She shrugs, "I've had worse."

"You wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head, "Not when those assholes can hear me."

No shock, which surprises her because she knows that they're listening. They're always listening.

It's only when two armed guards come into the room that she understands why, and she stands up instantly, fully awake and alert.

One of them - the younger looking one of the two - heads towards her cell, and he pauses when he's stood opposite her on the other side of the glass, and almost horrified expression on his face when he sees her.

At first she thinks it might be fear - though there's hardly much to fear given the collar around her neck and the fact that she's behind a locked cell - but she's quickly proved wrong.

"She's a kid!" He gasps, turning to the other, sterner looking guard, who seems less than bothered by her age.

She figures he probably sees her as either a criminal or a monster. Maybe both.

"An order's an order, Sanders." The other guard responds gruffly, indifferent to his co-worker's clear discomfort as he opens up her cell, instantly slapping a pair of metal cuffs around her wrist.

She almost scoffs at their use, because realistically there's not much she can do to fight back. She fights back, she'll get shocked, and she can't exactly get far when that happens.

They lead her out of her cell, and Sam and Clint both instantly rise from their beds, rushing over to the glass of their own cells and glaring menacingly at the guards pulling her towards the door.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Sam snaps, hand hitting the glass angrily, and Clint goes to mimic his actions when she turns back to them both.

"Guys, stop!" She warns, "I know what I'm doing."

That's a lie. She doesn't have a clue what she's doing, but she does know that by doing this, she's keeping Wanda away from whatever Ross is planning.

She had promised to protect her friend, and that's exactly what she's going to do.

* * *

They've strapped her down to a medical table - one all too similar to the one that Ivan had - in a lab that instantly feels her with a sense of dread. And she thought the cells were bad.

She doesn't know exactly what they're going to do, and all she's clinging onto is the fact that because she's doing this, Wanda doesn't have to. She's trying to find comfort in that fact.

She hears the door swing open, though from her position she can't see who it is. She really hopes it's not Ross.

The guard at her side tightens one of her restraints, and she winces at how tight it feels around her arm, before stepping back, standing at attention.

"Subject H-140 ready for initial testing." He states simply.

"I have a name, dickwad!" She snaps, glaring at him menacingly, though her glare quickly drops when she feels electricity course through her body again.

She writhes against the restraints, biting back a cry of pain, and she slumps weakly against the table when it finally stops.

God, she hates that collar.

"Thank you, Sergeant. I'll take it from here."

The guard leaves with a respectable nod, and as he goes Harper catches a glance at the person who entered the room moments ago. A woman with dark hair, clad in a lab coat and a black outfit underneath, passes by her on the way to the metal table at the side of the room. Harper watches her with caution, and she's surprised when the woman actually talks to her.

"Hello, Harper. My name is Doctor Jackson. It's nice to meet you." She explains, turning towards her and leaning casually back against the table, "I understand your situation isn't ideal, but I want to make this work for the both of us."

Harper scoffs, "If you want to make this work, take the collar off."

"You know I can't do that, Harper."

"Because you're afraid of what I do if you did."

Dr Jackson shakes her head, "I'm not afraid of you."

Harper scoffs again, disbelieving, "You're the only jackass in here that's not."

She realizes her mistake when it's too late, and she braces herself for a shock, eyes snapping shut in anticipation. Nothing comes, and she slowly opens up her eyes to find the doctor stood opposite her, the remote for the collar in hand but not being used.

"Unlike some of my colleagues, I don't agree with corporeal punishment." Doctor Jackson explains, placing the remote down on the table, "As long as you're in this room with me, it stays over here. Sound good?"

It doesn't sound great, but it's better than being shocked, so she'll take it. She nods mutely, and the doctor nods back, turning back towards the table and remarking, "Today I'm just going to be taking some samples."

She draws blood samples first, which for Harper is nothing foreign. She works silently, though Harper suspects that it's because she knows trying to strike a conversation with her just won't end well. Either that or she's just not a very talkative person.

She's fine with the blood being drawn because she's done that herself in the past so she knows what to expect, but the doctor soon finishes collecting blood samples and moves onto her next ask. Harper sees the equipment first, and she quickly figures out what kind of sample she'll be collecting next.

Now, she's never had bone marrow drawn before, but she's heard that it's beyond excruciating without anaesthetic, and she doubts she'll be receiving any of that whilst she's here. Even with an enhanced level of pain tolerance, she's certain it's gonna be painful, so when the doctor turns back to her with the equipment in hand, she begins to thrash against the restraints holding her down against the table, trying to find some way to get free.

She comes up with nothing, though the doctor seems to notice her discomfort and sighs.

"The quicker we do this, the quicker you can go back." She says, "I promise it'll be quick."

Harper scoffs, continuing to pull at the restraints, as she glares at the doctor, "Your promises don't mean shit to me!"

"Don't make me call them in here. I don't want to." She responds, and Harper knows who she's talking about in an instant, "I'm trying to make this easier for the both of us."

"Eat shit, asshole!"

"If I can't take samples from you, Ross is gonna force me to take them from the other girl."

That makes her stop, because as much as she doesn't want to do this, as much as she wants to keep trying to fight her way out of it, she wants to keep Wanda out of it even more. She promised herself that she would.

So she stops. She stops and she lets the doctor take her samples, and at first she tries to put on a brave face, but then that fails and she's screaming so loud that it echoes off the walls of the room, and all she can think about other than the pain is the fact that she wants to go home.

She wants to go home more than anything, though she's aware that's practically impossible at this point.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> I wanted to say thank you for the support on the last chapter. I honestly didn't think that anyone was reading this, so to know that people are means the world.
> 
> Updates will be coming as and when they're written, though life is starting to get back on track, meaning I won't have as much time to write. 
> 
> My inspiration comes and goes in waves, and at the minute it's there. I've actually written the next few chapters already, which I'll be rolling out over the next week or so, so keep an eye out for those.
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated guys. They really help inspire me to write!
> 
> Stay safe! :)

She sits up expectantly when she hears the footsteps from above, because she figures it's the guards coming to get her again. They've come and collected her for the past three days in a row, taking her back to Doctor Jackson in order to collect more samples. She's taken multiple blood and tissue samples, though the doctor's strayed away from taking more bone marrow samples.

Harper figures that she should be grateful for that, but it's kinda hard to be given the situation.

Out of all of the assholes on The Raft, Doctor Jackson's by far the least unbearable. That's not to say that Harper likes the woman - she certainly doesn't considering that every time she's seen the woman, she's effectively used her as a lab rat - but she doesn't shock her like the guards and she at least tries to talk to her like she's a dignified human being. It beats being talked to like she's an animal or an object.

Ross has held up his end of the bargain so far by staying away from Wanda, at least for the experiments, that is. The guards shocked Wanda the other day when she began murmuring nonsensically in Sokovian, and she figures it's because they think she was trying to convey something to the rest of them in secret. She certainly wasn't, because despite Wanda's attempts to try and teach her in the past, Harper never fully picked up the language. She could understand a few of the things that the girl was mumbling about, though she didn't get much time to piece it all together before they began shocking the girl, and by that point Harper had stopped focusing on what her friend was ranting about.

Harper figures it's an early sign that Wanda's going mad, and whilst she doesn't blame her, that's not exactly a good sign. She figures it's not long before they all go stir crazy. It's kinda hard not to when you're locked up in a maximum security underwater prison, being treated like an animal and fed what can hardly be classed as food.

The metal door swings open, and she catches a glance of the others also becoming more alert. They don't protest it anymore (mostly because Harper made them all promise that they wouldn't - it makes things easier that way), but they all still react when they come to take her away, the guys shooting glares over at the guards whilst Wanda, somewhat fearfully, tries to stare defiantly at them.

She expects the guards, except they aren't the ones who step through the door. Instead, Dr Jackson walks into the room with a bag in hand, clad in a lab coat like usual, and the others all seem perplexed by her arrival.

"Who are you?" Clint asks gruffly.

She ignores him, walking over to Harper's cell and standing on the opposite side of the glass, expression neutral.

"You need more samples, don't you?" Harper questions defensively, assuming that's why she's here.

Turns out she's wrong.

"No. Not today." Dr Jackson replies simply, shaking her head, "Secretary Ross wants to move on from the preliminarily tests."

"So why are you here?" Harper questions, puzzled, "Shouldn't I be coming out there?"

If Ross wants to move onto his next level of tests, it'd probably make more sense for her to be in a lab than a cell. After all, he is effectively using her as a lab rat.

Still, she'd rather it be her than Wanda.

"I convinced him to focus on testing your brain before your brawn." Dr Jackson explains, almost sounding proud, "I find your brain far more interesting personally, but it wasn't easy for him to see it the same way."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "So, what? You're gonna poke at my brain?"

"Not quite." Dr Jackson responds, shaking her head, and then she surprises Harper by pulling out one of the key cards that unlocks her cell and using it.

The cell door swings open, and the others all seem just as stunned as Harper as the doctor calmly steps inside of the cell, placing the bag down onto the floor before backing out again and calmly closing the door. It's so casual that it seems foreign in the setting.

"What is this stuff?" Harper questions, glancing skeptically down at the bag.

"When I saw you the other day, I made some modifications to your collar." Doctor Jackson explains, ignoring her question, "Do you know what EEG is?"

"Electroencephalography." Harper responds, adding bluntly, "You're gonna shock me to measure my brain activity?"

"I already told you I don't agree with that." Doctor Jackson responds, shaking her head and almost looking disgusted at the suggestion, catching Harper off guard. "The device I added to your collar will measure your brain activity in the same way that Electroencephalography does. It's been activated for the next 24 hours." She explains.

"Still doesn't explain what's in the bag."

The doctor shrugs, "Open it and you'll find out."

Harper hesitates for a second before kneeling down in front of the bag. She opens it up, pulling out some of its contents, turning to the doctor with a perplexed expression when she sees what it is. She's given her textbooks and notepads and pens, which is the exact opposite of the kind of thing she was expecting.

"You're giving me homework?"

Doctor Jackson shrugs, "I see it as a win for the both of us. You get something to do and use your brain for, and I-."

"Get to use me as a lab rat?"

This is hardly a win for the both of them. Far from it, in fact. Yes, Doctor Jackson is less of an asshole than the others, but it doesn't change the fact that she's helping Ross despite how fucked up the situation is.

"Believe it or not, I'm trying to help you, Harper."

Harper scoffs, unable to stop herself, "You and I have very different opinions of what 'help' is."

The doctor doesn't seem fazed by her snide remark. If anything, she looks kinda impressed.

"You're smart. You'll figure out what to do." She says, and then she turns away and walks out without another word, puzzling Harper even more.

"What was that about?" Scott asks, breaking the silence in the room, and Harper doesn't answer him because even she's not entirely sure what just happened.

She already knew that Dr Jackson was different compared to the rest of the assholes working on The Raft, but giving her homework is simply too bizarre for her to comprehend.

"You okay, kid?" Sam asks, concerned.

"Yeah." Harper replies, glancing away from the bag to look over at him, "Believe it or not, she's not a total jackass."

She flinches, realizing her error, but then the shock doesn't come and she stills, perplexed. She glances over at the others, who seem just as confused, and her eyes land on Wanda as she comments, "Maybe they're having a break."

"Yeah. Maybe." Harper murmurs.

She doesn't think that's the case, but there's a high chance that she's wrong. She's not been right about anything really since she got thrown in here.

God, and she thought being locked up by HYDRA was confusing.

* * *

"It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you! There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do!"

Something Harper's quickly learned about Scott is that he's not a great singer. Far from it, in fact. That's not to say that she's a great singer, because she's far from it, but Scott's kinda tone deaf. Clint's really not a great singer either, but she already knew that from the short time they lived together in the tower.

She's trying to concentrate on the work by her feet, scrawling in pencil on the paper as she works through the equations in the textbook. Should she be doing it? Probably not. But it beats the boredom of doing nothing, and she's missed using her brain for something actually challenging.

She'd love to just concentrate on the work, but the sound of Scott and Clint singing terribly within their cells is somewhat off-putting, and that's putting it lightly.

"I bless the rains down in Africa!" Clint choruses, adding with an overenthusiastic point in Scott's direction, "Bring it home, Tic Tac!"

"Gonna take some time to do the things we never had!" Scott sings, finishing the song with a triumphant pose. He probably expects applause, but he doesn't get any.

"Yes!" Clint cheers, though the grin drops from his face when he catches a glance at the grimace on Wanda's face, "What, Wanda? Not like our singing?"

"I've heard better." Wanda responds, adding, " _A lot_ better."

"Ouch, kid." Clint replies, feigning a hurt expression that brings a slight smile to Wanda's face. It's a nice contrast from the sad expression she usually holds.

"I thought we sounded great." Scott says, tone proud.

"What do you reckon, Har-?" Clint asks, turning towards the other girl, and he deadpans when she see's what she's focusing on instead. "Kid, seriously?!" He questions, tone frustrated.

"What?" Harper replies, shrugging, as she continues to work through the equations, not even glancing up from the paper.

"You're doing the homework?"

"Beats them poking at my brain instead." She replies, glancing up at him and adding with a playful smirk, "And your singing was incredibly distracting. Liked the song though. Good choice."

"Can't go wrong with Toto." Scott remarks, shrugging, and he's not wrong.

You can't go wrong with Toto.

"What is that she gave you anyway?" Clint questions, tone less frustrated and more curious now, as he takes a seat back on the end of his bed.

"Astrophysics." She responds, "It's not that complicated."

"Says the genius." Wanda scoffs, small smile on her face.

Harper smiles. It's nice to see her friend at least somewhat happy for once.

"I'll teach you and you'll see it's really not that difficult." Harper replies, flipping to the final page of the textbook, "Once you understand the basics, you can build off from it."

"You know, most kids prefer video games to homework." Clint remarks, and Harper shrugs.

"I like both." She says, and then she stills when she hears a familiar set of footsteps from above. "Sam's coming back." She says, turning back to her work as she waits for her friend to come back.

She's been able to figure out the difference between the footsteps of one of her friends and the footsteps of someone else on The Raft. She can't tell the difference between the prison's workers footsteps, but at least she knows when her friends are coming back. She's always relieved when she hears one of them coming.

"I still think it's so cool you can do that." Scott says, awestruck, and Harper smiles to herself.

It still baffles and amuses her that Scott's still so impressed by her abilities. After all, Wanda's so much stronger than she is, and in her opinion, the former Sokovian's abilities are far cooler than hers. Besides, it not like either of them can use them in here anyway.

"Not again!" Clint groans exasperatedly as the metal doors slide open, the guards leading Sam back towards his cell, "You've got a pencil now too! You've got no excuse to not give him an autograph!"

Harper laughs when she sees the embarrassed expression on Scott's face, and Sam turns to them all once the guards have locked him back in his cell. "We picking on Tic Tac again?" He asks, smirking.

"When aren't you picking on him?" Wanda questions, eyebrow quirked, and Scott glances over at the former Sokovian appreciatively.

"Thank you, Wanda!"

"He's an easy target, so it makes sense."

Scott groans exasperatedly as the others laugh, "Seriously?"

"Don't worry, Scott. You're not an easy target." Harper remarks, finishing up the last of the equations, and though she's not looking at Scott, she's certain he's looking at her with skepticism.

"You're trying to make me feel better, aren't you?"

She shrugs, "Figured I owed you that."

Someone's gotta look out for Scott. Might as well be her.

Sam chuckles, asking, "What'd I miss?"

"Not much." Clint replies, nodding over in Harper's direction, "Kid's been doing some math."

"Astrophysics." She corrects, slamming the textbook as she finishes the final question. "And I'm finished anyway. Back to being bored." She remarks, sighing.

"Are we not entertaining enough for you, kid?" Clint asks, feigning offensive, and she rolls her eyes at him as he glances over at Scott,"You ready for round two, Tic Tac?"

Wanda groans. Harper rolls her eyes again. Sam just looks confused. All are acceptable reactions.

"You know it, Arrow Guy!" Scott responds excitedly, catching Clint off guard by the use of the nickname, "Yeah! I've got nicknames too!"

"Let's change it up!" Clint decides, and then he begins belting out a new set of lyrics, "We're no strangers to love! You know the rules and so do I!"

Harper doesn't recognize the lyrics at first, though both Sam and Wanda seem to, and the both of them groan exasperatedly when Clint begins to sing them.

"Oh, no!" Wanda whines, glancing over at Harper with an accusatory expression, "You caused this!"

"What?" Harper questions, puzzled, "What did I cause?"

"I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling! Gotta make you understand!" Scott choruses, continuing the song as Sam points over at Harper with a sharp look.

"This one's on you, kid!"

"What is?" She asks, still puzzled, though when she hears the next lyric it all makes sense.

"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!"

Now she understands Sam and Wanda's reactions.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
> 
> The link above offers ways to help with the current issues surrounding racism and injustice against the black community. These issues have never stopped as they should've centuries ago, and the recent events in the States have shed more light on how prejudiced and corrupt the justice system can be. If you have the time, please take a look and help where you can.

"I have to say, your mind's incredible, Harper. Truly." Doctor Jackson remarks, seemingly in awe as she looks at the data on the monitor in front of her, and Harper catches a glance at the screen from her seat, "I don't understand how your brain can process information so quickly. I've never seen anything like it."

She's in the usual lab, though this time she's not strapped down to a medical table, instead sat on an uncomfortable chair in front of a desk. It's not the most comfortable arrangement, but she figures that beggars can't be choosers. Besides, it beats being tied down. At least like this she can actually move around, though she's remained in her seat whilst the doctors been scanning the data.

Could she make a mad rush for the door? Absolutely, but she wouldn't get very far. The doctor won't shock her, but the guards will. They already have enough.

"Yeah, well, neither do I." Harper replies, shrugging, "I don't know everything."

"You know more than people twice your age do."

"Age is just a number."

"That's true. Doesn't change the fact that you're remarkable." Doctor Jackson muses, adding suddenly and casually, "What's your question?"

Harper quirks an eyebrow, puzzled, "How did you-?"

"I can still see your brain activity. The device doesn't deactivate for another twenty minutes." Doctor Jackson explains, and Harper almost feels stupid for not realizing it.

She sighs, nodding towards the medical table at the side of the room, "Why am I not in that thing?"

Doctor Jackson casts a glance over at the table before turning towards Harper, moving to take a seat opposite her. "Because I'm not scared of you." She replies, shrugging, and Harper scoffs.

"You mean you know I can't do shit with this collar on?"

"No. You could still kick my ass if you wanted to. I know you can fight." Doctor Jackson replies, "I, on the other hand, cannot. I'm just not scared of you."

Harper hears her heart beat, and she concludes that the doctor's being honest. She leans back in the chair, not relaxed but at least aware, as the doctor turns back to the monitors, continuing to scan through the data that the device collected.

There was a clear spike during the time she was doing the work that the doctor set for her, though even at other times of the day, her brain activity seems to have remained higher than the average level. You'd expect to see that though.

The two of them notice another spike in the data, though the time at which the spike occurs seems to perplex the doctor.

"Your brain activity seems to spike when you're asleep." She murmurs, puzzled, and the reason for the spike soon dawns on Harper.

"Yeah. That'll be the nightmares." She remarks, sighing, "Last nights was pretty shit."

Last night's made her wake up screaming, and she startled everyone else into waking up too. She felt bad when she saw the confused expression on Scott's face, and she felt even worse when she saw the frightened expression on Wanda's face. Clint and Sam were both concerned, but the two of them understood in an instant.

It took ten minutes for them to try and calm her down, which was easier said than done considering reinforced glass stood between all of them.

Doctor Jackson turns towards her, expression curious and even somewhat concerned as she asks, "Do they happen often?"

"Every night since I got thrown into this shithole." Harper replies, and the doctor seems surprised by her response. She shrugs, scoffing, "What'd you expect? This place is hardly like wonderland."

She recognizes the conflict on the doctor's face. She's stunned, almost ashamed even, and Harper doesn't really know what to tell her. It's not her fault her head's so screwed, at least not entirely. Still, she'd be in a much better place if she were back home. There, she'd be able to see her therapist. There, she'd actually be able to get a hug when she wakes up screaming. There, she'd be with her entire family, not just a fragmented part of it.

Things would be better if she wasn't on The Raft. If the Accords weren't a thing.

The metal doors to the lab slide open then, and when Harper turns around and sees who it is, she freezes in her seat. Ross strolls into the room, armed guards either side, with a composed expression on his cruel face. He casts a disdainful glance over at Harper, and the girl has to try and not glare back at him as he walks towards the doctor.

"Do you have enough data?" He asks, casting a glance over at the monitors.

Doctor Jackson looks over at Harper for a second, expression unreadable, and Harper doesn't react to it because she can see the way the guards are gripping the guns in their hands, and she's not exactly on board with the idea of being shot unnecessarily, especially when her healing's not working.

Doctor Jackson turns away from her and looks back to Ross, gesturing towards the monitors with a polite smile that's clearly forced, "See for yourself, sir."

He moves past her, scanning the monitors for himself. Harper can see the crease in his brow and she has to suppress a smirk. He doesn't have a clue what he's looking at, and it's abundantly clear that he's trying to pretend that he does.

"Good." He concludes, moving back from the monitors to glance back at the Doctor, "I want us to start testing those triggers now before we move onto the physical tests."

Her face visibly drops despite her attempts to prevent it, and she catches a glance at the Doctor's face. Her panic only seems to escalate when she sees the conflicted expression on her face.

She knows what's going on, and she knows that it's not a good idea. She feels like she should be angry that she knows, but at the same time it'd be more surprising if she didn't.

"Sir, that may not be wise." Doctor Jackson warns, tone cautious in front of Ross, "The data shows that using her mind in a conscious state is far more valuable tha-."

"I asked for soldiers, Doctor. Not brainiacs." Ross interjects, expression stern and warning, "Test those triggers and then move onto the physical tests."

Harper glances at the Doctor, hoping that the fear in her eyes isn't noticeable, and she sees the way the doctor hesitates. She briefly makes eye contact with her, and that's when the doctor seems to make up her mind.

"I won't do it, sir." Doctor Jackson says, turning back towards Ross determinedly, and the look that crosses the Secretary's face is one of contained rage.

"I'll do it then." He decides, turning towards the guards with a sharp order, "Strap her down!"

She feels the guards grab onto her arms and try to yank her out of the chair, and that's when the panic really sets in. She lashes out against them as soon as she feels one of them grab onto her arm, jumping up from her seat and striking one of them sharply across the face. He staggers back with a grunt, clutching at the side of his wounded face, and she turns to the second guard, trying to do the same as before.

The electricity runs through her body before she gets the chance, and she drops to the cold floor as she writhes with an agonized cry. She swears the shocks get stronger every time.

They drag her up and strap her down despite her weak protests, and she's only half aware of Doctor Jackson as she's pulled from the room, the steel door slamming shut and locking behind her.

She focuses up again as Ross comes to stand in front of her, and the only way she can describe his expression is smug. That only seems to grow as the words begin to roll off of his tongue.

"Longing. Sokovia. Shield..."

She screams, trying to block it out, but then they shock her again and again until she can't scream anymore, and she knows that it's over when he reaches the second to last word.

They're in control, and there's nothing she can do about it.

* * *

"You two ever seen her this quiet?" Clint asks, casting a glance over at Sam and Wanda as he continues to pace around his cell.

They brought Harper back in about twenty minutes ago, and the girl hasn't said a word to any of them since they threw her back into her cell. They can't even see her face either - she's laying on her poor excuse of a bed facing away from them all.

None of them wanted to say anything at first. Scott didn't feel like it was his place too, and both Sam and Wanda decided that it would be best to give the younger girl some time to adjust before trying to get her attention.

Clint chose to do the same at first, but he soon decided that pacing around in silence was getting to his head. He figures it might be because he has a daughter of his own, or maybe it's because he does genuinely care about the kid, or maybe it's even because he knows how important the child in the cell opposite him is to his best friend, but he soon finds that he can't bare the silence.

"Once." Wanda murmurs, sharing a quick look with Sam before looking back towards Harper's cell, concern hidden in her pained and tired eyes, "After..."

Her voice trails off, and none of the men pry her further on the matter. Both Sam and Clint understand what she's talking about, and though Scott doesn't, he doesn't really want to know.

Scott leans against the side of his cell, hand tapping against the glass anxiously, "You think she's asleep?"

"She's not." Sam says, rising from the end of his bed and walking up to the glass of his cell as the others watch, puzzled. "You wanna talk about it, kid?" He asks, only puzzling the others further, but then they see the way Harper's back shifts and they understand.

It takes her a minute, but she eventually sits up. She moves to lean against the back wall of her cell, knees drawn up to her chest defensively as she hugs herself tightly, eyes fixed on the ground as she talks in a quiet, small voice.

"They got in my head." She mumbles, chin resting against her knees as she focuses intently on the ground, "Used the triggers."

"Triggers? What-?" Scott mutters, baffled, though his voice trails off when the other three shoot sharp looks in his direction. "Sorry." He murmurs, sheepishly backing up slightly, though no one notices as they turn back to Harper instead.

"I tried to get rid of them before, but I never cracked it. Figured I could just ignore it. Run away from them." She explains, voice sad and angry at the same time, "HYDRA fucked up my head almost a year ago and it's still broken. I'm still broken."

"You're not broken, kid." Clint tells her, and she shakes her head, because she can't find it in herself to agree with him.

She can't even control her own mind.

"You said Bucky's about as stable as an IED, didn't you?" She asks, casting a glance over in Sam's direction, and the man doesn't really know how to respond so he doesn't. "I'm no more stable than he is." She admits.

"None of us are stable." Wanda says suddenly, breaking the silence in the room and catching everyone else off guard, and Harper looks over at the other girl in surprise. Wanda shrugs, "It's the truth. It's why we're in here. No point running from it."

It's kinda a pessimistic way of looking at things, but it gives Harper some sense of...well, she doesn't really know what it gives her, but it makes her feel less alone.

Not less broken or unstable, but less alone nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe everyone!


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POTENTIAL TW: Mentions of electrocution and sensory deprivation
> 
> Stuff is beginning to get dark guys. Be prepared.
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated guys. They really help inspire me to write!
> 
> Stay safe! :)

"So you guys really pulled off one of those pranks like in the movies?" Scott asks, glancing between Harper and Sam with excited and almost childlike eyes, "Green goop and all?"

Being locked up in cells all day gives them a lot of time to talk. They're all there for the most part - the only exceptions being when they drag Harper from her cell for their experiments, and when one of them is on their routine trip to the showers. Clint's on his right now, making it just the four of them right now.

Harper always feel uneasy when one of them is absent, particularly when it's Wanda. Ross agreed that he'd leave Wanda out of his experiments if she participated, but she hardly trusts the man - correction, she doesn't trust the man - so she's not exactly pleased to watch guards drag her friend out of the room.

At least when she's in her cell, Harper knows that she's out of Ross' grasp at least somewhat.

"Yeah. "Steve and..." Harper says, the smile falling from her face as she falters for a moment, and the concerned looks that Wanda and Sam give her are almost unbearable. She corrects herself, adding quietly, "They were so pissed off at us."

"Us?" Sam questions, eyebrow quirked, "You mean me?"

Harper scoffs, "We both got in trouble for it and you know it."

"You walked away from it fine!"

Okay. So maybe she wasn't as punished for it as Sam was, but she still got in trouble. It's not her fault that Steve and...that they were suckers. Besides, it's easy to play Steve if you know how.

"It's true." Wanda mutters, shrugging when Harper shoots her a look, "Just saying."

Harper rolls her eyes good-naturedly, looking back to Scott, "We had meant to hit Steve, but someone else walked in instead and got hit. I mean, I still thought it was a success."

"Oh, it definitely was." Sam says, smirking as he thinks about it, "Difficult to rig up though."

"Why didn't you just ask her to move it all around for you?" Scott asks, gesturing to Wanda. "You can do that, right?" He asks her, and the girl nods in response.

"Why didn't you think of that?" Sam questions, deadpanning Harper, "You're supposed to be a genius."

"I have off days too, you know?" Harper shrugs. Maybe she should've thought of it, but like she said, she has off days too. "Next time we'll call you in." She says, glancing over at Wanda, and the girl responds with a quiet murmur that Harper only just picks up.

"If there is a next time."

She involuntarily grimaces as Wanda says it, and the older girl seems to notice as she shoots an apologetic look in her direction. Harper nods back, concealing her emotions behind a strained smile, because the last thing she wants is for Wanda to feel bad. She doesn't need that.

Thankfully, the guys don't seem to notice their small exchange as Sam continues the conversation.

"What about you, Tic Tac? You pulled any pranks before?" He asks, and Scott shakes his head in response.

"Really? Not even in the suit?" Harper gasps, stunned and somewhat disappointed. Why wouldn't he pull pranks using the suit to his advantage? It's perfect. "That suit's ideal for pranks!" She exclaims.

Scott quirks an eyebrow, "You think?"

Harper nods, "Yeah, of course! No one would see you coming, you could get into places that no one else can, and you could get away before anyone could catch you."

"She takes pranks very seriously." Wanda says, noticing the shocked expression on Scott's face at the younger girls enthusiasm, and Harper nods in agreement.

"It's an art form."

The metal door to the cell room clangs open then, and Harper jumps because she was so evolved in the conversation that she didn't hear anyone coming. She sighs in relief when she sees that it's only Clint, the former S.H.I.E.L.D agent being surprisingly co-operative with the guards as they lead him back into his cell.

"I'm back from the sewers everybody!" Clint declares, turning to face them all with gusto as his cell door locks shut behind him, "I'm sure you all missed me! Wouldn't blame you! I'm the guiding light in this dark, dismal hell!"

Sam scoffs, rolling his eyes, "Keep telling yourself that, Barton."

"Say what you want, Wilson, but I've returned with some news." Clint quips back, and Harper groans because she knows what he's gonna say before he does. "Shit's coming!" He declares, and the others join her in groaning in discomfort.

By 'shit', Clint means food, and his description is a fairly accurate one. The food here is beyond awful.

"You know, calling it shit right before we're about to eat it doesn't exactly make it any better." Scott says, sitting up on his bed with a sigh, and Clint shrugs.

"Only being honest, Tic Tac."

They bring their food in, and Harper finds herself grimacing at just the sight of it. God, she really hates that stuff. She backs up to the corner of her cell as the door swings open and they drop the food down in front of her, remembering what happened the last time she didn't.

She's not really interested in being shocked today.

"You've got two minutes."

She nods in response to the gruff guards instruction, making no effort to hide her disdain as he closes the cell door and walks out of the room. She glances over at Wanda once he's gone, noticing the conflicted expression on the older girls face, and she figures that she must've heard what the guard said.

Harper forces a small onto her face, though it's clearly strained, as she kneels down in front of her poor excuse for food. It may taste like shit, but she's gonna need the small amount of energy it gives her, and it's not long she's got the time to think about whether or not she's gonna eat it anyway.

"You think it'd kill them to get some food that doesn't taste like shit?" Clint groans, having only had a couple of mouthfuls, and Scott sighs exasperatedly from his own cell.

"Come on, man! I'm trying to eat here!" Scott whines, holding his own bowl in his hands, and it's clear from the look of disgust on his face that he's not enjoying it as much as the rest of them.

"He's got a point." Wanda murmurs, adding with a small smirk, "It tastes worse than Harper's cooking."

Harper scoffs, shooting a look in the older girls direction, "Really? You're gonna mock my cooking here too?"

"What's wrong with your cooking?" Scott asks between mouthfuls, puzzled.

Wanda smirks, casting a look over in Sam's direction, "It's...how would you put it, Sam?"

"Burnt." Sam remarks, smirking too, "Constantly burnt."

"I'd take burnt food over this any day." Clint grumbles, eyeing up the poor excuse for food with a dirty look, and Sam chuckles.

"I don't know about that, Barton. It's pretty bad."

"Ha ha. You guys are hilarious." Harper scoffs, shooting a look at her friends and struggling to conceal her smile when she sees the both of them actually laughing. She can't even remember the last time she saw Wanda laugh. "God, I miss cheeseburgers." She remarks, casting a glance back down at her food with a groan.

"You and me both, kid." Clint says, "Hotdogs, too."

"Don't forget pizza." Wanda remarks.

"Or ice cream." Sam adds.

"Or orange slices."

Everyone, not just Harper, gives Scott a bizarre look for his suggestion, and Harper questions, "What's your thing with orange slices?"

Scott shrugs, "I like 'em."

Harper turns back towards her food as Sam questions Scott further, knowing that her time's running out. She needs to eat now otherwise she won't get the chance, so she shovels as much of it down her throat before the guards walks back in, heading straight for her cell.

"Alright. Time's up."

She watches as the door's yanked open and they drag her to her feet, pulling her out of the cell as the others watch angrily. She knows that none of them like to see it, and she knows that if they could, they'd each take down the guards in an instant, but that's just the thing.

They can't.

She casts a glance back at her friends as she's pulled towards the door, noticing the hurt and worried expression on Wanda's face, and she feels a sinking feeling begin to build in the pit of her stomach.

She knows that Wanda's blaming herself even though she shouldn't. She made a choice and she knows it was the right one, even if Wanda doesn't see it that way. She's doing what she has to do.

"Don't worry, guys. I'll send a postcard." She quips, trying to force a grin onto her face in the hopes of reassuring Wanda.

She doesn't get the chance to see the other girls reaction before she's pulled from the room.

They drag her down the hall as per usual, leading her back into the familiar lab despite her resistance, and the first thing she notices when she enters the lab is the lack of Doctor Jackson.

The familiar doctor's gone, instead an unfamiliar man in a lab coat there to replace her, and he doesn't even look up from his monitor as she's dragged into the room and strapped down to the chair.

"Where's the other doctor?" She questions, glancing between the guards as they bolt her down to the chair, snapping when they don't answer her, "Hey, assholes! Where is she?"

They shock her for that one, though in hindsight she should've seen that coming.

She thrashes weakly against the restraints, resulting in a second shock, and then a third, and by the fourth she can't fight anymore as the doctor comes to stand by her side, voice monotone and eyes unforgiving.

"Subject H-140 prepped for test 1A." He recites simply, "Initial test at ten volts. Standard voltage for the collar."

She feels the shock, and she notes that it's longer than the standard shock from the collar, or at least it feels that way, and she shoots a sharp glare at the doctor when it passes, "You son of a bitch!"

"Upping voltage to 50."

The next shock hits, feeling far stronger than the first, and she screams and curses at the doctor and the guards. Neither seem effected by her response, and the doctor barely waits a few moments before continuing in his same unforgiving, cold voice.

"100."

* * *

She's dragged back into the room like a rag doll, and she's thrown back into her cell as if she's as worthy as one, and as soon as her cell door slams shut, Sam begins to ask question.

"What did you do to her?!" Sam barks, hand slamming onto the glass of his cell when the guards ignore him, "Hey! What did you do?!"

The guards leave without another word, the steel door slamming and locking shut behind them, and all four spectators in the room instantly turn to the youngest once they're gone, eyes full of worry and confusion as Harper draws in on herself in the corner of her cell.

"Harper?" Scott tries, tone soft and calm, "Harper, talk to us. Come on."

"They broke the kid." Clint remarks darkly, eyes focused on the trembling girl as she clearly tries to avoid eye contact with the rest of them, and Sam shoots a sharp glare in his direction.

"How much?"

The three men glance between each other, baffled by the simple question that Wanda poses. They notice the way that the former Sokovian is looking at the younger girl, and Sam notices with a grimace that there's a flash of recognition and understanding in her eyes.

Harper, still shaking, keeps her eyes trained on the ground as she barely murmurs a response back.

"1000."

"A thousand what?" Clint questions, eyes darting between the two girls confusedly, "What is she talking about, Wanda?"

Wanda swallows the lump thats been building up in her throat, eyes remaining fixed on Harper as she murmurs, voice haunted and disgusted, "Volts."

Realization dawns on Sam first, expression turning murderous as he clenches his fists tightly, and he shakes his head as he paces back and forth in his cell angrily, "I'm going to kill them."

It hits Scott and Clint at about the same time, and whilst Clint's eyes remain fixed on Harper as she continues to draw in on herself with a wince, Scott looks between Sam and Wanda with hurt and worried eyes.

"W-why would they do that?" Scott questions, utter disbelief and shock hitting him all at once.

"In case you haven't noticed, Tic Tac, they're assholes." Sam hisses, steps loud and forceful, "This is what assholes do."

"Yeah, but to a kid?"

"I'm not a kid. Not in here." Harper says suddenly, voice low and startling. Four sets of eyes land on her as she finally glances up from the ground, eyes red raw and frightened. "They did something to her." She says, wincing when she shifts her arm as she feels a jolt of pain run through her.

"Who?" Wanda asks.

"The nice doctor. Doctor Jackson." Harper responds, "She's gone."

None of them respond at first, Sam and Wanda too angry and Scott too shocked; Clint's the one who fills the void.

"None of them are nice, kid." He says, the former agent far better at compartmentalizing his emotions than the others, because he knows that right now, one of them has too.

"She was."

Doctor Jackson tried to find a compromise. Sure, it was a compromise that favored her side more, but she wasn't a total asshole like Ross or the guards. She at least tried to treat her like a decent human being.

"I'm sure she's fine, kid. Probably just taking a day off." Clint tells her, though she doesn't believe it, and she knows that he doesn't really believe that himself.

"You've got some nerve coming down here."

Harper glances up again, startled when she sees Ross in the room, armed guards either side as per usual. She hadn't even heard him come in, though it seems that Sam noticed, because he's glaring at the man with a look that can only be described as purely murderous.

"You could use some of that right about now, Wilson." Ross replies, unperturbed, as he casts a glance at his guards and gives a simple order, "Grab the girl."

Harper flinches, trying to back up further into her cell but falling short when she feels residual pain rush through her, and it takes her a few moments to realize that the guards aren't coming towards her at all. Instead, they're gonna towards the exact person she's been trying to protect this entire time.

Wanda's cell door is wrenched open, and Harper stumbles to her feet as Wanda tries to scramble into the back corner of her cell, struggling due to the restraint being caused by her straitjacket.

She ignores the persistent pain, forcing it into the back of her mind, as she rushes up to the glass of her cell, yelling loudly at Ross as Wanda's pulled to her feet.

"What are you doing? Hey!" She snaps, practically hissing at the man, "We had a deal!"

Ross turns towards her, expression stoic and calm, as the guards continue to pull Wanda from her cell, and the Secretary casually strolls towards her as she glares angrily at him through the glass.

"We compromised. You've been co-operating, and I've shown my appreciation by subjecting you to the tests that would've otherwise been undertaken by Miss Maximoff." He explains nonchalantly, "However, you've also shown resistance, and resistance leads to pain and consequences. I know you know that."

She's panicking, and he knows it. She can tell by the way a satisfied smirk is forming on his face. The boys are panicking too, both Sam and Clint pounding on the glass and cursing at the guards whilst Scott glares directly at Ross, trying to reason with a man clearly beyond reason.

Harper glances over at Wanda, heart racing when she sees the pure terror in her friends eyes, and it's when she sees that that she feels the anger really take over.

She strikes the glass once, and then twice, and by the third strike, the entire glass panel is falling to pieces, shards scattering all over Ross and the space around him.

She stands there for a moment, just as stunned as everyone around her, but then she springs into action despite not understanding how or why this is possible.

Ross is scrambling away from her, one of the guards rushing away from Wanda to try and protect him, though Harper doesn't know why he's bothering because her sights aren't set on him. Instead, she stalks towards the guard still holding onto Wanda, latching onto him tightly and yanking him away from her friend before he can fully react.

She hears him collide with the metal wall, but she doesn't watch him as it happens, her sights now focused on Ross and the guard by his side. Both look panicked for a brief moment, not that she cares, but then their panic fades.

She doesn't understand it at first, but then she feels something hit the back of her shoulder and she winces. She barely has the time to yank it out before she feels herself hit the floor, and the last thing she registers before everything goes black is the sound of her friends shouting out her name.

* * *

She wakes up in the dark and in suffocating silence.

She staggers to her feet, rushing blindly in the dark to find something, anything, to latch onto, only finding a steel wall at all sides.

"No, no, no." She murmurs, heart racing, "This isn't happening."

She's not stupid. She knows what this is.

In blind panic, she strikes the wall with her fist, because the last time she was conscious she was strong again.

She screams when it collides with the steel, her fist not even making a dent in the surface. She has a feeling she's broken her hand, but she can't see in the dark, and she knows that no one can hear her screaming.

For the first time in a long time, she's truly alone.


	6. 6

"It's been five days."

Clint turns towards Sam exasperatedly, already sick of watching the other man pacing back and forth in his cell. It's all he's been doing all day, everyday, since Harper was taken, and whilst Clint understands his concern (he feels it too), it's slowly starting to get on his nerves.

Because, yes, he's worried and Sam's worried and Scott's worried because they haven't seen the kid in five days now, and every time they even try to ask the guards they're ignored, but the last time he checked, they've still got a kid they need to be looking out for.

He knows how worried Wanda is. He knows that she blames herself for everything that's happened even though she shouldn't, and he knows that the kid's bearing more than she should have to.

So he understands Sam's worry and paranoia, but he just wishes that he'd keep it in check for Wanda's sake.

"We've been over this, Wilson. They wouldn't have killed her." He says, casting a glance at the worrying man in the cell opposite, and Sam's quick to jump down his throat about it.

"How do you know that, Barton?!" Sam snaps, "You've seen how sick these bastards are!"

"Ross needs her alive for his experiments, doesn't he? He may be a jackass, but he's not gonna kill her as long as she's useful." Clint responds logically. He had hoped that the logic may have appealed to Sam's more reasonable side, but if anything it spurred on his anger even more.

"How can you talk about her like that? She's not just some piece of science equipment, Barton! She's a kid!"

That's what sets Clint off, the former agent unable to contain his frustration even for Wanda's sake, as he turns towards Sam, bristling, "I know that man! I know she's a kid! She's _our_ kid!"

He may not have been around much in the last year, but he still wants to look out for the kid. He knows how important she is to them all, and he also knows that his former Russian spy and assassin best friend would ordinarily put herself in the line of fire if it meant that kid could walk away unscathed.

He knows how important she is, to the others as well as himself, and he knows that she's not just some piece of equipment. They all know it.

"Which is exactly why we should be protecting her! It shouldn't be the other way around!"

"Clint's right." Wanda says, speaking up for the first time in awhile. Clint glances over at her, trying not to react to the hopeless and guilty expression on her face as she remarks, harrowed, "As long as Ross needs her, he won't kill her."

"Thank you, Wanda!" Clint remarks, casting a glance back over in Sam's direction, "See, Wilson? Even the kid gets it."

"Sam's right too."

"Huh?" Clint murmurs, turning back to Wanda with a puzzled expression. He thought she was agreeing with him on this one.

"We should be the ones protecting her." Wanda says guiltily, "It's my fault that she's gone."

"It's not your fault, Wanda. It's not on any of us." Sam says, shaking his head profusely, because the last thing he wants if for Wanda to think that this is on her or any of them, because it's not, "It's on Ross and his group of assholes, and it's on..."

Sam's voice trails off when Clint shoots a sharp look in his direction, the former agents eyes narrowing as his tone turns accusatory. "Who? Who's it on, Sam?" He questions, anger contained but barely, as he takes a step closer to the glass, "You were gonna say it's on Nat, weren't you?"

Sam doesn't confirm that he was going to, but he doesn't deny it either.

"The kid relies on her more than she relies on anyone else. She only agreed to everything that was going on for as long as she did for her, and then she turned around and left her when she needed protecting." He explains, trying to keep his tone level and calm, because even he can see that Clint's beginning to get frustrated.

The last thing they need is to turn against each other.

Clint shakes his head, "Tony failed her, Sam. Not Nat."

"You keep telling yourself that." Sam responds dismissively, walking over to his bed and taking a seat on the end, eyes fixing onto the steel wall in front of him, "All I know is that when she wakes up crying every night, she expects her to be there like she promised, but she's not."

Clint considers arguing with him, but then he sees the way Wanda's looking at him and he falters. He's too invested in the welfare of these goddamn kids.

He attributes it to being a father. That's his excuse. Nat doesn't really have one.

It's silent for a while until the familiar sound of the steel door opening interrupts it, and all three of them instantly perk up at the sound. Someone steps through the door, though it isn't who any of them were hoping for.

"It's only Scott!" Sam announces, disgruntled.

Scott scoffs, shooting an offended look at them as the guards lock him back into his cell, "Wow! Thanks, guys."

"Sorry, Tic Tac." Sam responds apologetically as the guards leave back through the door, "We thought you were...you know."

"She's still not back yet?" Scott asks, surprised and concerned, because he honestly thought they might have brought her back whilst he was gone.

Scott hasn't known Harper for long, so he can't pretend that he knows her as well as the others, but he's worried for the kid. It's been five days now and she still hasn't come back.

"What could they have done with her?" He asks, casting a glance between the three of them.

Wanda doesn't respond, and if anything the girl shrinks further in on herself. She doesn't want to think about what they could've done. She's already thought about it enough.

Sam doesn't seem to be able to give a response either, and Scott doesn't know if that's because he honestly doesn't know or if it's down to the fact he's trying to avoid losing his cool like he's already done several times before.

Instead, Clint's the one who gives him an answer, and despite not knowing him very well, Scott can tell that he's struggling just as much as the others. He's just better at hiding it.

"We don't know." He admits honestly, adding after a moment, "She's a strong kid though. She'll get through it."

Scott nods and retreats to the back corner of his cell, slipping into the silence that the others soon lose themselves in. Things have been pretty quiet since they took the kid. They've all been tense, and if they're being honest, Harper was the one who would often try and encourage conversation. She probably didn't realize it, but she was the only really keeping their morale up.

Without her around, things sorta just feel empty.

Eventually, they do bring the kid back, and Scott estimates it to be only about an hour after he came back from the showers. They all jump up, even Wanda lifts her head, when they hear the door slide open, and the first thing they all notice is the way Harper's sights are set on the floor.

She's limp, barely walking as the guards move her back towards her cell, and when the door slides open, she steps inside without a word, moving into the back corner of her cell just like she did the last time she was brought back in here.

"Harper?" Sam tries, voice calm and relieved.

Harper doesn't respond, eyes remaining fixed on the ground, and Scott looks at the others aimlessly, unsure on how he should react. He doesn't know Harper well enough to know how to respond to this. Looking at the others, he notices that they're just as clueless as he is.

Clint's the next one who tries. He kneels down within his own cell, trying to get down to Harper's eye level as he speaks in a soft yet insistent voice, "Come on, kid. Talk to us."

Harper finally reacts, if only subtly, by shifting slightly where she's sat, and then she begins to rock back and forward ever so slightly, eyes remaining fixed on the ground as she finally talks.

"I can hear everything, but I...I couldn't hear anything." She murmurs, voice cracking, "It was dark. Didn't know it could be that dark."

Clint glances up at Sam, the two of them making eye contact as Wanda and Scott continue to watch the distant girl in front of them, and both men understand what she's talking about at the same time.

Sensory Deprivation.

Clint's heard stories of agents who've been subjected to it for less time than Harper and haven't fully recovered. Some people can't last more than a few hours before the hallucinations and anxiety attacks last, and the kid was thrown in there for five days.

There's no telling what it could've done to her head.

"You're not there anymore, Harper. You're with us." Clint tells her. He knows that the kid needs reassurance right now. Her head's gonna be all over the place.

"I didn't know what day it was. T-there was nothing to judge it from." Harper responds shakily, glancing up at them all for the first time. That's when they all see her eyes for the first time, and it's clear that she hasn't slept for at least the last couple of days. "How long was I gone for?" She asks.

"Five days."

"Thought it was seven. I was close." She murmurs. "D-did they...did they hurt any of you?" She asks, glancing specially over at Wanda when she does, and the older girl's the one who provides her with an answer.

"We're okay." Wanda says, "Better now that you're back."

Harper nods, and for a second they all think that she might smile.

She doesn't, and something tells them that she won't be smiling again for quite some time.

* * *

She's staring blankly at the steel wall when she hears it. It's quiet at first, and she figures that her enhanced hearing is the only reason she picks up on it, and it startles her because she knows that the others are all asleep.

She's been the only one awake for hours now.

She glances over at Wanda's cell, peering at the sleeping girl through the glass, and the first thing she notices is the distressed expression on the older girls sleeping face. She's visibly shaking restlessly, and Harper knows exactly what's going on because she knows it all too well.

It's horrible. Being trapped in your own head.

She sits there for a moment, hoping that it'll pass and Wanda will be fine in a moment, but then she grows more restless and her cries get louder, and Harper can't stand watching it any longer.

She staggers to her feet and stumbles towards the glass, practically flopping down onto the cold steel, and she keeps her voice low out of the fear of waking any of the others up.

"Wanda!" She whisper-shouts, hoping against hope that it'll be enough to wake her friend up. She has to try a couple of times before it works, and when it does Wanda's eyes snap open, frantic and afraid.

She knows the feeling.

Wanda tries to sit up, struggling due to the straitjacket and her obvious distress, and Harper rushes to try and reassure her, which is easy said than done given the barriers between them.

"Hey, it's okay! You're okay!" She responds, calmly and hastily, as Wanda begins to focus in on her, "Look at me, Wanda. You're okay."

Wanda's still breathing heavily, eyes remaining frantic, but she stops struggling after she seems to process what Harper's saying. Harper keeps her eyes on the older girl the entire time, trying to look at her reassuringly and calmly as Wanda tries to calm herself down, eventually sitting up and leaning against the back wall behind her bed, speaking in a low, shaky voice.

"I-I'm so-."

"Don't, Wanda. Don't say it." Harper interjects, shaking her head tiredly, "Don't apologize for something you can't control. It's not healthy."

"You're telling me that?"

"I've got experience." Harper says, shrugging. "You wanna talk about it?" She asks.

She's been here before herself. She's been here far too many times to count. Sometimes talking helps, and sometimes it doesn't. It's important that Wanda gets that choice.

"I saw Pietro."

Harper falters, though she rushes to cover it up. She hasn't heard that name in a long time. Wanda doesn't talk about him often, and none of them ever push her to either, so hearing her actually speak about him again shocks her.

"We were younger. Back home. Safe. And then the shell hit." Wanda remarks, eyes haunted, and Harper can see that she's not imagining this. She's telling it directly from memory. "It went off, but this time Pietro was caught in it too. I was under the bed alone because he left and I couldn't save him."

She recognizes the look on Wanda's face, and it makes her throat tighten and gut twist painfully. She can see the guilt in her eyes. The regret and grief too. Harper doesn't know what it's like to have a brother - she never will - but she does know what it's like to try and save someone only to fail. It's absolutely gut-wrenching and it leaves you feeling hopeless and useless.

It's possibly the most horrible feeling in the world, and it kills her that Wanda's experienced it. She shouldn't of had to.

"I don't think I ever said that I was sorry after..." Harper murmurs after a moment, voice trailing off when she looks back at Wanda's pained eyes, and she knows that the older girl knows what she's talking about so she elaborates. "I'm not gonna pretend like I knew him like you did, but I know he was a good person."

She didn't really know Pietro Maximoff. She fought alongside him in the Battle of Sokovia, and she fought against him in South Africa, and she had one conversation with him in the Tower. She never knew him, nor will she ever know him, as well as Wanda did, and she knows that her friend doesn't need her reassurance that her brother was a good person, but she can tell that she appreciates it.

"He was." Wanda responds, the ghost of a smile forming on her face as she thinks about him, "Everything he did, he did to protect me and our country. He always put me first. I was lucky to have him."

"He was lucky to have you too."

Wanda smiles appreciatively, shifting slightly to try and get more comfortable, and Harper grimaces when the girls discomfort is visible. God, she hates that straitjacket and she's not even the one wearing it.

"I'm sorry you got put in that place because of me."

"I'd do it again." Harper responds without hesitation, knowing exactly what Wanda's talking about, adding when the girl gives her a look, "I promised to protect you, didn't I?"

"You need to protect yourself too." Wanda insists, tone concerned, and Harper shrugs again.

"Kinda hard when I can't fight back." She admits, sighing tiredly, "And even if I could, I don't know if I want to anymore."

Wanda shakes her head, "Just because we've had to fight more than we should've, that doesn't mean we should stop."

"You've been spending too much time with Steve. You're starting to sound like him." Harper jokes, casting a glance up to where she knows the surveillance camera in her cell is after a moment. "I'm surprised the jackasses haven't shocked us yet." She remarks, nodding to the cameras.

"They're probably asleep."

"No. Someone's always watching." Harper concludes, glancing back at Wanda, "They're scared of us."

It's a frustrating thing to admit, but it's the truth. There's no use in running from it. It's why they're in cells and they're wearing shock collars. They're trying to control their fear by controlling them.

"I can't control their fear. Only my own." Wanda murmurs quietly, though Harper picks up on it, and it's almost enough to make her smile.

"You're really starting to sound like Steve." She jokes, and Wanda smiles sadly.

"I miss him."

"I miss both of them."

Wanda hesitates, casting a confused and somewhat angry glance in Harper's direction. "She hurt you." She remarks coldly, and Harper sighs.

She knows that Wanda's just being overprotective, and she gets it. Sam's the exact same way. Neither of them are happy with Nat and neither of them are hesitant when it comes to showing it. Scott doesn't really have an opinion on the matter given that he hardly knows Nat, whilst Clint tries to defend his friend every time one of them brings it up.

Harper doesn't really know how she feels about it. At times she's angry, and at other times she's hurt, and sometimes she even understands why Nat left. She just doesn't know how she should feel anymore.

"You can still miss people even when they hurt you." She replies, "Besides, I don't think she meant too."

"She still did."

Harper bites her tongue, choosing not to argue on this one. She's too tired to, and she feels like she's not gonna be able to change Wanda's mind anyway. Instead, the older girl changes the subject, though Harper's not particularly thrilled with what she choses.

"What happened to your hand?"

Harper glances down at it, deciding that there's no use in hiding it now that the other girl's noticed. None of them realized when she was brought in, and she was hoping that none of them would because she's already made them worry enough. She's sick of causing problems.

Her right hand's swollen and bruised quite badly, which is what made it so surprising that none of them noticed. Comparing the two side by side, it's clear that something's wrong.

"I think I broke it when I was..." Harper sighs, voice trailing off, and she's thankful when Wanda waits patiently instead of insisting for an answer. "I tried to set it back in place, but it was too dark and it kept hurting. It'd be fine by now if I didn't have this stupid collar on." She explains.

"Can you fix it?" Wanda asks, grimacing at the sight of the injury, and Harper almost considers hiding it when she sees the way her friend looks at it.

This is the exact opposite of what she wanted.

Harper shrugs, "I don't know. I'll probably just make things worse. I _keep_ making things worse."

"None of this is your fault, Harper. You tried to help as many people as you could. We all know that."

She knows that Wanda's trying to reassure her. They all are. She appreciates the fact that they're trying, she really does, but she can't ignore the overwhelming fact that every time she tries to fix something or save someone, people only end up getting hurt and things only get worse.

"When was the last time you slept?" Wanda asks her suddenly.

She was hoping that Wanda wouldn't notice that either.

"Right before you woke me up." Harper responds cooly, and Wanda scoffs.

"Well, that's a lie."

Harper sighs defeatedly. That's the thing with Wanda - there's no fooling her. With Clint and Scott it's easy, and with Sam it can sometimes be a challenge but it's mostly doable. Wanda always catches her out when she's lying, and if anything being locked up in here together has improved the older girl's observational skills.

Maybe that's payback for trying to lie.

"Four days ago."

Wanda's expression shifts back to one of concern as she sighs, "Harper-."

"I'm fine." Harper insists, shakily standing to her feet and pacing back over to her bed. She sits back down, leaning against the back wall, and when she turns back to Wanda, she sees that the girls concern hasn't left. "I'm dealing with it, okay?"

That's not entirely true. She's _trying_ to deal with it. She's trying to deal with everything.

She can't sleep. Her head feels like it's going into overdrive all the time, and every time she closes her eyes she feels trapped in the dark again. She never wants to feel like that again.

She can't go back there.

She keeps trying to tell herself that she's dealing with it, but no matter how much she insists that she is, even she doesn't buy it.

Glancing back at Wanda, she can tell that she doesn't either.


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: DARK CONTENT - MENTIONS OF DRUG USE AND HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION
> 
> It's getting really dark guys. I'm sorry for all of this, but I promise that there's light at the end of the very, very long tunnel. Then again, can you name one hero who's happy at the end?
> 
> Thanks for reading guys! All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe!

Survival instinct's a damning thing. Some people link it to self-preservation, something that Harper's been told several times she lacks, but she knows for sure that she does have survival instinct. She knows she's got it, because no matter how tired she is, no matter how much pain she's constantly feeling, or no matter how much she wants to stop fighting, her survival instinct stops her.

It's been stopping her from going completely numb, and most days she wishes that it wouldn't. She's sick and tired of fighting _all_ the time.

They drag her back into the lab for the fourth, no, fifth day in a row, and she can't really put up much of a fight. She's too tired and her hand's still in excruciating pain. Part of her had hoped that one of the doctors would notice and help her fix it, but then again they're assholes so that's not likely.

She's restrained as per usual, and the guards back up slightly as the doctor walks over, eyes trained on the clipboard in his hands. That's the thing with this new doctor - he never looks at her. She can't tell if it's because he thinks he's above her, or maybe it's even because he doesn't want to face the reality of his situation, and by looking at her he'll realize that he's performing immoral experiments on a literal child. Or maybe it's even because she's afraid of her. She doesn't know.

"Test 1 of drug x-67 on subject H-140 about to commence." He recites, voice monotone.

Harper watches him as he moves to the side, and then she sees the blue liquid as it begins to run through the medical tube towards the cannula that's been roughly inserted into her lower arm.

"What's in that thing?" She questions, tired eyes darting between the doctor and the liquid as it gets closer and closer to her arm. He ignores her, back to her as he looks at the monitor on the other side of the room, and she snaps, "Hey, asshole!"

She feels the shock, hissing in pain when it runs through her body. She slumps back against the chair after it passes, breathing heavily as she tries to ignore the pain and aching sensation she's feeling as the guards chuckle behind her.

"Kid doesn't learn, does she?" One guard remarks, scoffing.

"None of them do. They're all a bunch of freaks. Even the ones who don't have powers." The other responds, "They should've been put in here a long time ago."

"They're still trying to find the other ones. Apparently they've got a good lead on Romanoff."

Harper stills, eyes moving away from the unknown liquid as it begins to go into her arm, as she listens more closely to what the guards are saying.

"It'll be interesting to see what Ross does when he finds her."

The other guard hums in agreement, "My bet is she'll end up dead before they can even get her here."

"Shut up!"

It slips out of her mouth before she realizes it, catching the attention of both guards. She knows that it's easier to shut her mouth. To quit fighting and give in, because at this point there's no hope for anything anymore, but it's not hope or fight that's keeping her from becoming numb.

It's anger. Pure, unbridled anger.

"I swear to God if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kill you!" She screams, anger coming loose, as she thrashes against her restraints, and the two guards both jump at her response, startled.

"You scared, boys?" The doctor asks, turning away from the monitor to look at the two guards, and Harper feels sick to her stomach when she sees the amused look on his face.

He thinks this is funny.

"No! She's a kid! Besides, she can't do shit with that collar on!" One of the guards protests, and Harper shoots a glare at him, continuing to thrash against the restraints.

He pales instantly, and she doesn't miss the way he tightens his grip on his gun. Maybe she'd smirk if she wasn't so pissed off.

"I wouldn't piss her off." The doctor warns, moving back over to his monitor, "If this works, she's about to get a whole lot stronger."

Harper snaps her attention towards the doctor, "What are you talking about, asshole?! What did you do to me?!"

No shock for that one, though she figures it's because the guards are either too scared to, or they're too baffled by the doctor's statement to respond.

"And if it doesn't?"

The doctor shrugs, tone nonchalant, "We should find out right about now."

Harper doesn't have a clue what he's on about at first, but then the pain hits. At first she confuses it for a shock, but then it quickly exceeds the intensity of one and she knows that it's something else.

It's not long before she's screaming in pure agony, drowning out any and all sound around her.

* * *

The others hear the screams from beyond the steel door. That's how they know that Harper's coming back, and the sound of her screaming in agony chills of them to their core. All of them jump up, even Wanda, and then they watch as the guards pull Harper back into the room, the girl screaming and convulsing in their grip. They all watch, horrified and stunned, as the guards dump her in her cell, locking her inside without a care in the world for her obvious distress.

Clint's the first one to come to his senses, slamming roughly on the glass as the guards head wordlessly for the steel door.

"What have you done?!" He snaps, raising his voice when they ignore him, "What did you do to her?!"

They don't say anything to him, not even as the steel door shuts, and once they're gone, everyone looks back to Harper, who they notice has began convulsing on the floor as she continues to scream in pain. Clint glances around at the others. Scott looks concerned, Sam looks angry, and Wanda looks like she's gonna throw up. The only way that the expression on his own face can be described is horrified.

"Kid, come on! Look at us!" He tries, kneeling down so that he's eye level with her, though Harper doesn't seem to hear him, her screams seemingly drowning out the sound of his voice.

"Come on, Harper." Sam says, copying Clint's actions by kneeling down too, tone low and reassuring despite the obvious emotion on his face, "Focus on my voice, okay?"

The screams don't stop, and if anything they get worse, and when Clint glances around at the others, he can see that they know it too. Sam's anger is quickly turning into concern, and Scott's looking between them all, clearly at a loss for what to do. His heart wrenches when he sees Wanda, tears beginning to form in the young girls eyes as she watches her friend writhe around on the ground.

As if things couldn't already be bad enough, Ross just so happens to chose to pay them all a visit. He steps into the room, armed guards flanking either side as per usual, and the smugness that's usually present on his face only seems to have amplified since the last time that they saw him.

They all glare intensely at him as he paces towards Harper's cell, standing on the other side of the glass and watching the girl with a stoic expression that makes them all sick.

"The doctor said that the first trial was highly likely to be unsuccessful." He murmurs, tone unbothered as the girl continues to scream at his feet, "We're gonna need more trials."

"Trials?" Scott questions, voice cracking as he glances frantically between Harper and the suited man, "W-What did you do to her?"

Ross turns towards them all after a few moments, posture relaxed and tone casual as he explains, "Harper's co-operation and science are allowing us to cultivate something more useful to the world than bullets and soldiers."

None of them get it at first, because it's not like Ross makes it clear about what he's talking about; it takes him a moment, but eventually Clint realizes what he's talking about.

"You're back on this again?" He asks incredulously, "Trying to recreate the serum."

"I'm trying to find a compromise." Ross insists, and Sam scoffs.

"How is this a compromise?"

If Ross thinks that torturing and experimenting on a child classes as a compromise, then there's got to be something wrong with his head. He's not even flinching as Harper screams in agony on the other side of the glass, and that alone makes them all sick to their stomachs.

"The world needs both compromise and reassurance. That's what the Accords were for." He explains, glancing around at them all accusingly, "If all of you and Rogers understood that, we wouldn't be in this position."

Sam bristles, fists clenched tightly as he tries to suppress his anger. He swears that if he was on the other side of his cell, Ross would be out like a light within seconds. He's really trying to pin this all on them. That's messed up.

"What position?" Wanda asks, tone cautious, and the boys understand because they can see the remote for her collar in one of the guards hands, "What did you do to her?"

"He's using her as a test subject." Clint says, cutting off Ross before he gets the chance to respond, his glare remaining fixed on the man the entire time.

"I have men who are willing to participate in trials, but past experience has made it clear that allowing that presents a greater threat than a benefit." Ross explains, adding casually, "Harper is also less likely to die from the trials."

Sam scoffs, fists clenched tightly, and he's practically shaking with rage as he glares at the man as he heads for the steel door, "You're a sick bastard."

"Yet I'm the guy out here, and you're the ones in there." Ross responds cooly, expression smugger than ever, and he turns back to them when he reaches the door. "It should stop within about an hour according to the doctor. It shouldn't be enough to kill her."

* * *

It turns out that Ross was right about it lasting for an hour. The screaming doesn't stop the entire time, the sound of which is absolutely gut-wrenching for all of them. It's clear that Wanda was trying to block it out, and for the longest time, both Clint and Sam were convinced that she'd end up being sick. The two men tried to keep their cool, which was easier said than done given the state of the young girl in the cell opposite to them. Scott seemed to be trying to mimic Wanda's actions by blocking it out, though it was clear that he was struggling just as much as the rest of them.

When she does stop, it's abrupt, plunging the room into silence that seems eerie and out of place after the last hour. Scott's the first one who reacts, rising from his bed and walking up to the front of his cell, gulping back the lump in his throat as he looks at the pain-stricken and sweat-covered girl lying on the steel floor, expression blank.

"Hey, kid. You're okay. It's over." He says, tone cautious, gently urging the girl to respond, "Harper?"

She doesn't react, let alone respond, the sweat dripping down her forehead as she continues to stare blankly in front of her. Scott casts a hopeless glance at the others, and it worries him when he sees that they look just as lost as he does. No one says anything at first, until Sam notices something.

"What'd they do to her hand?"

Scott hadn't noticed it until now. Her right hand's swollen and bruised, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that it's broken, and badly at that.

"They didn't." Wanda murmurs, face haunted as she stares at the younger girl in front of her, "She broke it when they threw her in that place. Told me she hit the wall trying to get out."

The three men look between one another, each of them at a loss for words. They just won't leave the god damn kid alone.

They're gonna end up killing her.

"I-I..."

They all stop, eyes snapping back towards Harper as they hear her murmur, and for a second they all think they might have just misheard something.

But then she speaks again.

"I couldn't..." Harper murmurs, still, as her voice cracks, "I couldn't f-fix it."

"Fix it?" Sam questions softly, "Fix what, Harper?"

"Everything."

None of them want to accept it, mostly because none of them thought it was possible, but there's no denying it now.

They successfully broke the one Avenger that none of them thought would break.


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH AND PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF PAIN
> 
> (this one's not as dark, but just a heads up that it's gonna get a bit darker from here on out. more will be explained at the start of some of the upcoming chapters)
> 
> Enjoy guys! All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe! :)

They say that pain is what keeps us alive. Pain is what tells us to run and hide. It's what warns us something's wrong, whether that's physically or mentally, and it's what tells us to fight back. It motivates us but simultaneously damages us.

Pain is what reminds us that we're alive. Some people are more susceptible to it than others, some people can resist it, but everyone feels it. Even those who can't feel physical pain have experienced some form of emotional pain. It's an inevitability.

Sometimes, pain can kill you. It can destroy you completely, and even if it doesn't, some forms of pain can leave you begging for death because you can't face one more second of it, and no matter how much people tell you that it's going to get better and that you're gonna be okay, you can't bring yourself to believe it.

Harper's not dead yet, but at this point she kinda...

The pain is constant, and every time it only seems to get worse. Drug after drug enters her system day after day, and she loses track of when the days pass because they all sorta begin to blend into one.

Today's no different for the most part. She wakes up feeling numb, and she feels the same way when they drag her back out of her cell and take her to the lab. Nothing changes when they inject her with the latest drug, and up until that point she can't tell if it's a new day or just a repeat of the day before.

The symptoms are the same as usual at first, but then by the time they throw her back into her cell, she's vomiting. She's not aware of it - she's never aware of how bad she gets - but the others are, and as usual they're trying not to panic as they watch it all pan out.

Because this is their new normal now - watching the kid scream and cry because of Ross and his band of assholes.

For the first twenty minutes, nothing changes, and as usual they all try and block it out because it's easier than having to watch it. Anything's easier than having to watch it.

But then something shifts from the ordinary, and none of them realize that it's for the better until it actually happens.

Sam's the first one to see him, more accurately he's the first one to hear him above Harper's screams. He hears the sound of his cell door sliding open and he turns around, guard raised on instinct because he expects it to be a guard, though he quickly discovers that's not the case.

"Steve?"

"Hey, Sam." Steve responds as the other man surges towards him, wrapping his arms around him in a hug.

Steve goes to hug him back, but as he does the screaming gets worse, and both guys spring apart and get to work. Now's not the time for heartfelt reunions. Not when the sirens are blaring and there's likely guards on their way to lock them all back up, Steve included this time.

The two of them break the others out of their respective cells, Sam tackling both Scott and Clint's cells whilst Steve heads towards Wanda's. He tries not to grimace when he sees the straitjacket she's confined to or the collar that's fastened tightly around her neck, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he kneels down beside her.

"Hey, Wanda."

She seems distant, and for a second Steve worries how badly they've hurt her in here, because at this point he wouldn't put anything past Ross, but she seems to catch onto what he's thinking, turning to look at him directly in the eye.

"I'm fine, Steve." She says simply, Clint and Scott rushing into her cell as Sam goes to unlock the last cell, and he nods, moving to unlock the restraints confining her to the jacket. He doesn't exactly believe her, but now's not the time for questions.

The jacket comes loose and Wanda slips out of it, Clint helping her and offering her support as she stands, and the second it's loose he moves towards the collar around her neck. He rips it apart with ease, crushing it within his hands and tossing it down to the steel floor, exposing the harsh red marks encircling Wanda's neck the entire way around.

He falters, grimacing at the mere sight of the injuries, and the only thing that surprises him more is the fact that Clint and Scott don't seem surprised by it. If anything, they seemed to be expecting it.

He had his suspicions about what the collar was for, and the injuries confirm it, though he was hoping that they wouldn't.

God, what's wrong with these people?

"Steve, we've got to get her out of here now!"

They all step back out of the cell when they hear Sam's shout, and that's when Steve sees her for the first time since Leipzig, the change in her appearance horrifying him. She's deathly pale and gaunt and she looks nothing like the lively young girl he's known for over a year, but that's not even the worst part. She's convulsing within Sam's arms, and it's clear that he's struggling to keep ahold of her as she writhes around, screams of pain tearing their way out of her throat. The screams are only occasionally interrupted when she pauses to vomit, the putrid bile spilling out onto the floor in between coughs and sobs.

He's never seen anyone in a state as bad as is.

"What's wrong with her?" Steve asks, tentatively taking a step towards Sam as the girl continues to writhe around in his arms, careful of the building pile of vomit on the floor by his feet.

"W-we don't know, Cap." Scott stutters, eyes darting frantically between him and Harper as she continues to cry out in agony, "They just brought her in like this. S-she's never usually this bad."

"Usually?" Steve questions, shocked, "How often does this happen?"

The others don't give him an answer, and whilst he wants to question them, he's aware of the alarm blaring loudly in the background. He dealt with most of the guards on the way in, but there's a chance there's reinforcements hiding somewhere, so they shouldn't risk it by hanging around.

They'll just have to fill him in when they're safely on the jet.

* * *

Getting out was easier said than done given Harper's state, but at the same time it was easier than Steve thought it might be. Clearing The Raft wasn't difficult given the fact he had dealt with most of the guards on his way in; he figures that Ross must've been off the prison for the day because he didn't show his face either.

Either way, they got a lucky escape.

They're all on the QuinJet, Tony's stealth tech and autopilot protocols activated as they head for their secret location. Harper's in the back of the jet, still convulsing and throwing up, though her screams of pain have thankfully died down at least somewhat in the past half an hour. Sam reckons it's only a matter of time before she gets worse again, and though Steve doesn't want to agree, he's thinking the same thing.

Wanda's in the back of the jet with Harper, trying to reassure her where she can. Clint tried to stay with her, but the former Sokovian insisted that she was fine and had everything under control. Clint chose not to argue with her when he saw the red spirals forming at the tips of her fingers.

"T'Challa's agreed to shelter us in Wakanda for the time being. After he realized Buck wasn't behind Vienna, I think he felt like he owed us." Steve explains, glancing around at the three men at the front of the jet.

"He sorta does." Sam scoffs, arms crossed defensively as he leans up against the side wall of the jet, "We probably wouldn't have been thrown into that place if he didn't get involved."

Scott shrugs, glancing over at him from his seat, "To be fair, the guy's father was killed."

"Tell that to the kid!" Sam snaps, startling Scott by the harshness of his voice, though at this point he's beyond caring about being a jackass. He's pissed off.

"Sam!" Steve warns, shooting a look in his friends direction, and Sam temporarily back down. Now's not the time for them to turn on each other. That's happened enough already. He looks over at Clint, asking calmly, "How'd she even end up in there?"

"She said Ross and his boys came and took her right from the facility." Clint explains.

"And Natasha allowed that?"

"That's just it." Sam scoffs, shaking his head angrily, "She left her. Didn't even tell her she was leaving either."

For Steve, part of that doesn't come as a surprise. The secrecy of it does, but the fact that she left is a different story.

"I had a feeling she would've after Leipzig." Steve admits, adding when he sees the puzzled expressions on their faces, "She's the reason Buck and I got away."

Clint quirks an eyebrow, "What are you talking about, Cap?"

"T'Challa almost had us right before we got to the jet. She was stood between us and the jet, and instead of shooting us down, she hit him. She held him off whilst we got on the jet." Steve explains, "I figured T'Challa would've told Ross and she'd have to go into hiding."

The three of them seem to process the information differently. Scott doesn't really know how to react, so he opts to stay neutral. He doesn't really know Nat, so he can't really have a say on the matter anyway. Clint seems relieved by the fact because it proves (at least to him) that the faith he had in his best friend wasn't misplaced.

Sam's the anomaly. He doesn't say a word at first, which is odd considering how vocal he's been the entire time. Steve glances over at him, trying to read his stoic expression, "Sam?"

Sam shakes his head after a moment, voice calm but clearly trying to contain his persistent anger, "She should've told her. She should've taken her with her."

"It wouldn't have been any safer for her." Clint reasons, "It's not easy going on the run."

That's it. That's the straw that breaks the camel's back. It's what ultimately makes Sam snap, and when he does none of them are prepared for it. He moves away from the wall, charging towards Clint with pure rage in his eyes as he points an accusatory finger right at the other mans chest.

"She wouldn't have been tortured and experimented on though, Barton!" Sam snaps, enraged, "You and I both know what they did to her, or at least the parts she could talk about without breaking down! She wouldn't have gone through any of it if Natasha had stepped up and done what she promised she'd do! That kid wouldn't be in agony in the back of this jet right now if she had!"

"Sam!"

"No, Steve! Don't!" Sam yells, turning towards his calm friend as he continues to shout angrily, "After what happened with HYDRA, we all promised to protect that kid! We promised that we'd never let that kind of thing happen to her again, and she did! She let it happen!"

Steve stills, because he knows that there's no talking Sam down from this one. He's angry, and to an extent he has every right to be, but right now anger's not what any of them need. Thy don't need anything else dividing them, and it's clear from the way that his two friends are staring at one another that this is something that's doing just that.

"Uh, guys." Scott murmurs, breaking the tense silence in the jet, "I don't think we should be going this way."

Steve tears his eyes away from Sam and Clint to look at Scott, noticing the panicked expression on the confused man's face. The jet's beginning to descend, signalling that they're closing in on their final destination, and Steve understands Scott's confusion considering that they're speeding towards a large collection of tall green trees.

"It's okay, Scott." He reassures, forced smile crossing his face.

Scott quirks an eyebrow, still hesitant, "You sure, Cap? Cause it looks like we're about to crash into a forest."

Steve nods, and before Scott can question it further, they pass right on through the barrier, the jet and them included rematerializing on the other side in one piece, revealing the gorgeous capital city of Wakanda to most of them for the first time.

Scott gasps in awe at the sight of it, and even Sam and Clint quit glaring at each other for a moment to look at it.

"This is Wakanda?" Scott asks, moving right up to the glass like an excited child, "Awesome!"

Steve smiles, genuinely this time; Clint moves past Sam to take a seat at the very front of the jet beside Scott, and as he does Steve steps back, moving to stand next to Sam as the approach their landing zone.

He knows Sam, and he knows that most of his anger right now is being fuelled by worry more so than actual anger, and he can't blame him for that because he's worried too.

"They'll be able to help her here, Sam. Trust me." Steve says honestly.

Yes, their options are limited right now, but in terms of places to hide out, Wakanda's not a bad place to choose. They've got good tech and facilities and doctors that are equipped to deal with this kind of thing, and that's exactly what they need right now.

Especially considering the fact that as they land the jet, Harper begins screaming again, and the screams that tear their way out of her throat are far worse than any that any of them have heard before.


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy guys! All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe! :)

It's light when she wakes up. That's the first thing that stands out to her. She can see the white light from the corner of her eye, and she snaps her eyes shut again for a second when she first notices it, because God it's bright. Far brighter than her cell.

She doesn't understand what's going on. The last thing she remembers is being in her cell, and she knows for a fact that this isn't her cell. It's not the lab either. The ceiling in the lab is grey, not black, and the medical table in the lab isn't this comfortable.

She slowly sits up, eyes adjusting to the light, and she winces when she feels the soreness in her muscles. It's different to the usual pain though. This is more akin to the feeling you get when you've slept for so long that all of the muscles in your body have fallen asleep with you. She hasn't felt it in a long time. She hasn't had a good sleep in a long time.

Upon inspection, she can confirm that she's definitely not in her cell or in the lab. This place still looks like a lab, but it's so much more modern and advanced than anything she's ever seen. It even beats the lab in the Tower and the one in the facility. A quick glance around makes it seem that she's alone, and for her that's the first red flag.

The second one comes when her feet touch the black tiled floor. She notices the simple white shoes on her feet, a simple white t-shirt and trousers there to accompany them. Maybe she should be relieved to be in some new clean clothes, but for her it's more alarming than reassuring.

When she realizes that the collar's missing, she's almost certain that it has to be a trick. Either that or she's hallucinating, or maybe they're even fucking with her mind, because at this point she can't put anything past them.

That's it. They've got to be manipulating her mind. They must've put her in some kind of hallucinogenic state. Maybe one of their drugs backfired and this is one of the side effects.

Or maybe that's not it. Maybe they've moved her somewhere new. Maybe she's on a new Raft alone. Maybe...

She glances at her hands, counting carefully and with controlled breaths.

Everything comes back normal, and that alone disproves her first theory, and in her eyes that means that her second one has to be right.

She flinches when she hears footsteps above her; glancing around, she can see that a winding staircase with exits on either side runs above her, and from the sound of it, someone's heading down them right now.

She tries to teleport - nothing. She tries to fly - nothing. She tries to light up her hands - still nothing. There goes her easy way out or way to defend herself.

So she runs, feet pounding against the hard tiles as she makes a break for the staircase, coming at them from the opposite side as the person coming down, and she can't understand how she's running so easily and painlessly, but she is and she doesn't want to stop to question it, not when she can see a door at the end of the hall.

"Hey, wait!"

She doesn't recognize the voice, but she doesn't stop to look as she barrels through the door. She had only meant to push it open, but instead she ends up pulling the large wooden door right off its hinges, knocking it to the floor in front of her with a loud boom that echoes down the empty hall on the other side, and she comes to an abrupt stop as it falls to her feet.

Turns out the strength is back.

"Holy shit."

She hears footsteps again, multiple sets in fact, and a quick glance backwards confirms who it is. It's definitely not Ross or his men, but they seem to be some kind of guards. They're rushing at her with sharp spears though, and that's enough for her to assume that they can't be friendly, so she takes off again, leaving the fallen door in her wake.

Her heart's racing, and she feels like it's seconds away from beating right out of her chest, but she knows that she can't stop, not when more and more armed guards join the chase after her as she continues to run directionless through this unknown facility. She doesn't know where she's going, but she knows that she can run fast and she knows that she should be avoiding the spears, and for her that's enough.

There's absolutely no way this can be a solution. Her mind's a mess, but there's no way it could conjure up something as farfetched as this. Not a chance.

She keeps running and running, causing more and more property damage as she goes, but it's not like she gives a fuck because she's still certain that Ross is behind this somehow and she doesn't give a damn about wrecking anything he owns. She can't tell if her strength's amplified, or maybe she just doesn't have any control, but she sure feels a lot stronger than she used to. She suspects Ross is behind that too.

She doesn't know when it happens, but eventually the futuristic facility morphs into a cave, and that's when she really gets confused.

She doesn't stop though, because she only just lost the guards and she's not eager for them to catch up to her again. She keeps running and running through the dimly lit cave, still not having a clue where she's headed or what's going on.

"Oh, shit!"

She hits a fork in the road. Same cave. Two different paths.

God, she wishes she could teleport.

She hesitates, frantically trying to choose which path to take, all the while consciously aware of the faint sound of the guards approaching. They're catching up.

She chooses one when the footsteps get dangerously close, and even though her lungs are now screaming at her to stop, she keeps running. She runs blindly through the dark until she emerges on the other side of the cave, and part of her was almost expecting to find another cave.

Instead, she finds a city, because it's not like she wasn't already confused enough.

* * *

Steve had expected his friends to be angry. He would've been more surprised if they weren't after everything. He knew that Sam would be because he was mad about all of this from the very start. He knew that Sam would be pissed off, but he hadn't figured Wanda would be just as much. Clint's trying to remain neutral, though Steve can see a significant change in the man since the last time he saw him. Scott doesn't really have much to say, and he seems to be more in awe about Wakanda than anything else. T'Challa's actually giving him a tour right now.

The King's being very accommodating to them all, which Steve appreciates more than words can say. All the help he's willing to offer Bucky along with the help he's offering them makes him think that he'll forever be indebted to him. T'Challa's already reassured that's not the case, but Steve still feels like he owes him more than just his gratitude.

But that's not his priority right now. Right now, he's got to try and offer some stability to his friends. Some reassurance.

"I understand why you guys are angry. You have every right to be." He says, glancing between Sam, Wanda and Clint.

They're all in the living space of the area that T'Challa's graciously housed them in, Clint reclining back on one of the leather couches whilst the rest of them stand around, all of them engaged in the conversation. There's enough suites for all of them to fit in comfortably, and the rooms that they've been given are more luxurious than anything that any of them have ever stayed in. It doesn't beat home, but it's a good attempt.

"Don't get it twisted, Steve. We're not angry at you." Sam responds, tone fiery but controlled, "We're angry at her."

Clint scoffs, "This again? Really, Wilson?"

"I'm not the only one who knows it's true!" Sam snaps back angrily, and it takes Clint a moment to realize what he's implying, and when he does he turns to Wanda.

"You too?"

Steve glances over at the girl, instantly noticing the conflict on her face. She sighs when she notices that all three of them are looking at them, "Harper wouldn't have ended up in there if she had protected her. None of us would've ended up in there if-."

"Wanda, come on." Clint groans, interrupting her exasperatedly, "You can't blame the whole situation on her."

"How long are you gonna defend her, Barton?!" Sam snaps, glaring intensely at him, and Clint rises from his chair, glaring directly back at him.

"You know why she had to leave, Wilson." Clint says, tone warning, "So quit pinning this all on her. She's not the one that fucked up."

"She should've taken her with her." Wanda says, calm voice a stark opposite to the Sam and Clint's. Steve can't quite read Wanda right now. He can tell she's angry, but she's far better at controlling it than Sam or Clint, though he's fairly certain that she's on Sam's side of this argument.

"It's not that simple, Wanda." Steve reasons calmly, "If it was, I'm sure Nat would've."

"Sure she would've. All I know is if she had, that kid wouldn't be even more traumatized than she was before." Sam remarks, scoffing, before turning back to Clint, "I don't care what you keep telling yourself, Barton, but she fucked up the most out of all of us."

Sam pushes past Clint then, knocking into him seemingly intentionally as he makes his way for the staircase at the side of the room, feet pounding on the tiled floor angrily as he goes.

"Sam." Steve tries, sighing, and for a second he considers going after his friend. Wanda beats him to it, calmly pacing over to the staircase herself and following Sam upstairs, leaving Steve alone in the living room with Clint.

Well, that most definitely didn't go well.

Steve sighs, turning towards Clint, changing the subject somewhat onto something he's been thinking about constantly, "I need to know, Clint. How she was yesterday, is that...has it-?"

Clint nods, expression strained as he grimaces, "Not the vomiting, but the rest of it, yeah."

"How often?"

"Most days." Clint responds, and Steve tries not to react too harshly as the guilt hits him again, "We all figured they brought her in when it was happening just to fuck with us. The bastards didn't even give a shit that they were torturing the kid. Kept excusing it as science."

Steve's already heard about what they did. Scott filled him in after they got Harper into medical. It doesn't make him feel any less guilty or worse to hear about it again.

"I should've got you guys out sooner."

"None of it's your fault, Cap." Clint responds sincerely, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I know the kid won't blame you either."

Steve nods, though he doesn't know if he fully believes it.

"Did they hurt the rest of you?"

"They'd shock Wanda every now and then if Harper resisted. They'd use her as leverage to get the kid to agree to their experiments." Clint explains, "She was afraid they'd use Wanda instead if she refused."

Steve figures he should've expected that. Both from Ross and from Harper.

"She's safe now." He insists, adding, "You all are."

"Oh, I know. This place is like wonderland!" Clint responds, lifting his hands in the air and spinning around dramatically, gesturing around the room, and Steve understands what he's implying.

"But you want to go home. Be with your family." Steve concludes, nodding in understanding, "T'Challa and his political correspondents are already working on it. They're sorting out a similar deal for Scott too."

T'Challa agreed to help with it all right after they got Harper into medical. He said it might take some time, but he assured them that his political correspondents would work tirelessly to figure something out. The sooner Clint and Scott can get safely back to their families the better.

"Thank you, Cap." Clint replies gratefully.

"Captain." T'Challa says, suddenly coming into the room with Scott in tow, and Steve catches a sight of some of his guards just outside before the door closes again. Both men come to a stop in front of them, concern present on both of their faces, "We have a problem."

"It's Harper." Scott adds, panicked, and both Steve and Clint share a worried glance of their own.

"Is she hurt?" Steve asks, and T'Challa shakes his head.

"She took off from the medical center. The Dora Milaje are going after her right now."

"Yeah." Clint says, scoffing, "Because chasing the kid with spears is really gonna make her want to hang around."

Steve considers saying something, but he knows there's more to be concerned about right now. Right now, he needs to focus on finding Harper. They all do.

"Where is she?"

* * *

She doesn't recognize the city, which adds to her ongoing suspicion that Ross is behind all of this. Contrary to popular belief, she doesn't know everything, but she's fairly well versed on her geographical knowledge. If she knew of this city's existence, she would recognise it.

She starts moving again after she gets over her shock, because she knows that it's not long before the guards catch up. She sprints down the relatively quiet back road, picking up the pace as she goes, until she reaches the end of the road, coming out into a more busy area of the city.

She sees people - a lot of them. Men, women and children; they all seem to notice her too. Maybe it's because of her appearance, or maybe it's the frantic look in her eyes, but they all notice her. Some of them keep moving vigilantly, and some of them even stop to look at her, but the way they react can't exactly be described as friendly.

If anything, they're wary of her.

She keeps moving, though this time she's moving with a purpose. She's moving towards someone, anyone, because she needs answers, and she's sick and tired of not getting them.

"Where am I? What is this place?" She asks frantically, stopping in front of two women outside a market stand. The two of them hastily retreat as she approaches, and just like that she feels the panic settle in and the hope dwindle.

"Hey!" She shouts to no one in particular, because by this point the two women are now lost in the seemingly growing crowd of people, "Where am I?!"

No one answers, and that's when she sees it. The confusion on their faces. The confusion and the slight fear, and she doesn't know if it's fear due to misunderstanding or fear of her. Either way, she can see it on their faces.

"Yeka!"

She hears the shout, and she knows that it's the guards before she turns around and sees them.

Yeka. She knows that word. What language was it in? She could've sworn that she knew it. She has to know it...

"Shit!"

The guards are getting closer and closer. She doesn't have the time to stand around and think about the origin of a word. So she takes off again, pushing through the crowd without a second thought, and she's so flustered that she doesn't have the chance to apologize when she knocks people over unintentionally.

God, she really needs to get back control of her strength.

She's running with a clear direction again, because she's got no idea what the layout of this city is, and it's not like she can fly and get a birds eye view either. She'd really like to know why, but now's not the time to stop and answer question.

It has to be Ross. He must've done something to her in that lab. That's the only logical explanation.

She keeps running, turning down side roads and back alleys, because there's no way she's gonna lose the guards if she keeps running out in the open. At first, her pseudo plan doesn't seem so bad, but then she hits a dead end.

"Shit!"

She screeches to a halt, almost running into the brick wall in front of her in the process, and a quick glance up tells her that there's no chance in climbing it. There's nothing for her to grab ahold of, and it's far too tall for her to clear with a jump.

And running the way she came quickly becomes another impossibility. She can already see the armed guards charging towards her, blocking her one and only exit.

She's only got one option left - to fight.

She runs towards them, swallowing back the lump in her throat that's been building the entire time she's been running, and when she reaches the first guard, she swings her fist. It makes contact with the side of the guard's face, catching her by surprise, and the pure strength of it sends the guard flying back.

The other guards seem stunned by her strength, and Harper finds that she is too, but she doesn't have the time to stop and think about it.

She keeps fighting, thankful for all of the time she spent working on hand to hand combat back at the facility, though admittedly she's a little rusty. Maybe that's what allows the guards to get the upper hand, and she doesn't know how it happens, but she feels a strong strike to the back of her head, and before she even fully registers it everything goes dark again.


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe everyone!

It's light again when she wakes up. It only takes her a couple of seconds to realize that she's back where she started, and that alone is enough to make her panic. She blinks rapidly with a low groan, trying to adjust her eyes to the light again, except this time something's different.

She's not alone this time.

"Good, you're awake. Again."

She sits up, startled when she sees an unfamiliar girl opposite her. She looks a couple years her senior. She's dressed in a sleek dress, its white color matching the clothes that Harper's still wearing, and she doesn't look threatening at a glance.

Then again, looks can be deceiving.

Harper casts a glance down at her hands, frowning when she doesn't see the light she was expecting. She was hoping that everything might be working by now. She tries teleporting too.

Still nothing.

"Your other powers won't function for a few more hours yet, so there's no point wasting your time trying to teleport." The girl explains, casually turning away and pacing over to a sleek white desk at the side of the room, perching in front of a monitor. Harper remains rooted in her spot for a moment, looking at the other girl inquisitively and cautiously. "I'm told that's what you do. I've also heard that you're a fast runner." The girl adds, glancing over her shoulder with a confident smirk, and Harper only finds herself becoming more confused.

Might as well start asking questions.

"Where am I?" She asks, slowly moving down from the medical table, taking cautious steps towards the older girl.

She still doesn't her. She doesn't trust any of this. She doesn't even know what's going on anymore.

"You're in DisneyLand." The girl quips back, grin falling flat when she notices Harper's deadpan expression, "Okay, so you're not a fan of jokes. Brother said you've got a sense of humor, but I guess he was wrong."

"Brother?" Harper questions, puzzled, "What are you talking about?"

"T'Challa. King of Wakanda, also known as the country you're standing in right now." The girl explains, turning back to her monitor, "My brother offered you and your allies refuge here. Your friends are in this building. One of them just left about five minutes ago."

"Who?"

"Wanda Maximoff. She's been here for the last few hours, actually. Captain Rogers told her to go and get something to eat about ten minutes ago." She says, tapping away on the interactive monitor as if it's second nature, "They're all worried about you. Especially after you ran out of here."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "Why should I believe you?"

"Do I look like a middle aged white man to you?" The girl asks, voice teasing and confident, as she gestures to her appearance, unabashed.

No. She doesn't look like a middle aged white man. In fact, she's the exact opposite. Still, that's not a good enough reason for Harper to trust her.

"No, but looks can be deceiving." Harper quips back, and the other girl surprises her when she grins.

"That is true." She responds, turning back to her monitor and pulling up something on the screen, beckoning Harper over. The younger girl hesitates for a moment before stepping forward, seeing that the older girl has pulled up what looks like surveillance footage from the very room that they're in.

She can see Wanda, just like she said, and looking at the timestamp in the corner she can see that the girl was right about her timing too.

"You believe me now?"

Not entirely, but she believes her enough to not run off again. Yet, that is.

She watches as the girl moves the surveillance footage off the monitor, going back to the document she had up before. Harper, more out of curiosity than anything, can't help but be inquisitive about it.

"What is that?" She asks, nodding to the screen, and the older girl notices.

"The data I collected from you. Brother wanted me to figure out what they gave to you." She explains, Harper simultaneously peering over her shoulder to get a closer look, "It looks like they were trying to amplify your strength."

"I think they succeeded." Harper remarks, adding when the girl looks at her quizzically, "I knocked an entire door down when I was..."

"Nope. That was just because you're uncoordinated." The girl interjects, adding with a smirk, "Your friends agreed with me."

"Of course they did." Harper murmurs, and for a second she feels a greater sense of trust for the older girl, because that sounds like something they'd do. "That the formula of the drug?" She asks, gesturing to a small diagram of a chemical formula at the corner of the screen, and the girl nods.

"See? It's all wrong." She says, gesturing to the formula with a scoff, "Whatever it was they were trying to do, they failed. That probably explains why the side effects you experienced were so severe."

Harper stops focusing on the formula for a second when the girl says that, looking at her quizzically, "Side effects?"

She doesn't know what she's talking about. She knows that there's always pain when they drug her, but as far as she's aware, she doesn't experience anything else. It's just pain.

"You don't remember, do you?" The girl asks, and Harper shakes her head, prompting her to explain, "Excruciating pain, vomiting, high fever and increased heart rate. From an outside perspective, you seemed to be dying."

She knows that sometimes, when she feels the pain, she wants it all to stop, and if dying is how that happens, then so be it. Anything to get it to stop.

She never thought that she'd actually get close to that point though.

"Maybe that's what they were going for." She murmurs, and the older girl smirks, laughing slightly.

"No. I just think they're stupid."

Harper thought that might be enough to make her laugh or smile. It's not, but it helps her realize that she can trust this girl. Ross and his people never had a sense of humor, and she seems to. It's a good start.

"I never got your name." Harper says, turning back to the girl, who turns away from the monitor to look back at her.

"Shuri." She replies, adding confidently, "And before you ask, yes, I did save your life. You're welcome."

Shuri's confident. Harper has to give her that. She seems smart too. Harper finds that she can relax, at least for a second, because she manages to trust Shuri.

Besides, she could probably kick her ass if she really wanted to.

That is, if it wasn't for the guards standing by the door at the end of the hall, armed with sharp spears that are all too familiar for Harper, and when she notices them she can't help but ask.

"What's with the spears?" She asks, turning back to Shuri, eyebrow quirked, "You know guns exist, right?"

Shuri smirks, rising from her seat and nodding towards the guards by the door, "One member of the Dora Milaje equipped with a spear can do more damage than 10 men with guns."

Harper doesn't know if she believes that, but she's not exactly in a position to question it. Besides, she's not exactly interested in finding out which weapon is more deadly. She's had enough of running from danger for today.

"What are they made from anyway? Steel? Iron?" She asks, curiously.

"Vibranium."

Now that makes Harper do a double take.

"Vibranium?" She questions, perplexed, "As in actual Vibranium? Like the strongest metal on Earth, Vibranium?"

Shuri nods, smirking, "What do you think healed you?"

"I figured that it was me." Harper responds, shrugging.

She doesn't know how bad she was when she arrived here - she lost track of her injuries a long time ago. There was soon far too many for her to count. Still, she figured that her healing capabilities must've come back given that the collar was gone, and that must've been what dealt with them all.

"Your healing capabilities are advanced, but they hardly stack up against Vibranium." Shuri responds, adding as an afterthought, "No offense."

"I'm confused." Harper murmurs.

She's trying to understand - she really is - but she doesn't get it. How can metal heal her, and how does Shuri even have Vibranium? It's a limited resource.

"Really? I've been told that you're supposed to be a genius." Shuri quips back, "We don't get confused."

"I mean, I thought there wasn't a lot of Vibranium. Klaue stole a lot of it, and then Ultron happened..." Harper explains, voice trailing off as she tries to put the pieces together, "How do you have enough to heal me and make spears?"

"I'm surprised you haven't realized it yet." Shuri responds with a smirk, and when Harper doesn't respond, she gestures around the room, "There's Vibranium all around you."

Harper pauses when she hears that, taking a moment to process that information. She takes a step back and glances around the room, taking in the futuristic and sleek furniture. She examines the walls and the ceiling, and she looks at all of the tech that's strewn out across the various desks and workbenches across the room, and she takes note of the transparent touch screen panels that run along some of the walls.

It has to be some of the most advanced technology she's ever seen, and she's worked with technology developed by _the_ Tony Stark.

She knows that Vibranium is capable of great things - it's what makes Steve's shield so strong after all - but is it really capable of all of this? And if it is...

"I don't get it." She murmurs, turning back to Shuri with a perplexed expression, "Why hide this from the world? I mean, if this tech is as advanced as I think it is, it must be capable of solving half of the world's problems."

She doesn't get it. If Wakanda has Vibranium as a resource - and she presumes they must've had it for quite some time considering what they seemed to have developed from it - why keep it hidden? Why pose as a third world country when they're capable of being one of the most powerful governing bodies on the planet?

"Maybe, but it's also capable of causing more problems than it can solve. For a long time, that's what we believed." Shuri explains diplomatically, "My brother revealed our secret at the start of the month. He decided it was the time for change, and all of Wakanda supports him."

"I guess we missed a lot." Harper remarks, taking a step back for a second as she tries to process it all, because everything that Shuri's just told her is a lot to take in. Not just about the Vibranium - all of it. She supposes that she should feel grateful, that she should feel safe, but she finds that she can't bring herself to feel either.

Right now, she's confused and scared and...and horrified. Nothing makes sense anymore, and no matter how hard she tries, she can't wrap her head around that fact.

"Harper."

She turns around, surprised to see a familiar face in T'Challa, though admittedly it's strange to see him in something that isn't his panther suit. He's dressed in a regal looking black robe which is befitting to his title, and there's an armed guard stood either side of him.

"It's good to see that you're awake." He declares politely, coming to a stop a few steps in front of her, and Harper nods back respectfully.

"Prince T'Challa."

"It's King T'Challa." A guard says warningly, catching Harper instantly on her mistake, and a quick glance in the guards direction makes the younger girl freeze.

She recognizes that guard. She's the one she hit in the face back in the alley. She doesn't know if it that's or the unintentional disrespect she showed to her monarch, but Harper can tell that the guard's pissed off.

"It's quite alright, Okoye." T'Challa responds humbly, casting a glance at the guard in question, "Alert Captain Rogers and his friends that Harper's awake."

Okoye nods back respectfully, casting a quick stoic look in Harper's direction before walking off. T'Challa dismisses the guard on his other side, who mimics Okoye's actions minus the look and retreats, leaving the monarch alone with his sister and Harper.

"I apologize about that. Okoye's one for first impressions, and-."

"And I punched her in the face the first time she saw me." Harper interjects awkwardly, expecting T'Challa to be mad, but the monarch surprises her by smiling and laughing modestly.

"I apologize for that also. Someone should've been there to explain everything to you when you woke up." He explains, adding with a narrow-eyed look in Shuri's direction,"Someone was supposed to be."

"I didn't think she was gonna wake up so soon! I tried to stop her!" Shuri protests indignantly. Harper soon puts two and two together.

"You sent the guards after me?"

She was wondering how the guards seemingly came out of nowhere.

"It was either that or blast you with these." Shuri responds defensively, moving over to one of the sleek desks and grabbing a piece of tech from them. Harper glances down at the tech in question, which seemingly look like gauntlets of some kind.

She doesn't know what they can do, but she'd be lying if she said that they didn't look cool.

"Vibranium too?" Harper questions, scoffing when Shuri nods, "Is anything here not made of this stuff?"

"The food is not. I can assure you." T'Challa jokes.

Harper tries to smile, but she can't. Thankfully, neither T'Challa or Shuri notice, instead focusing on the door when they hear it swing open.

Harper instinctively steps back slightly when she hears the footsteps approaching, though part of her knows that she shouldn't bother, because she's not there anymore, is she? No. No one's gonna hurt her here, right? No one here wants to hurt her.

"Harper."

It's Wanda, and the sight of her alone makes Harper relax.

She looks far better than the last time she saw her. She still looks tired, but the collar's gone, and she looks less pale than she did in the cell. She looks like she's had a decent meal and a good night's sleep for the first time in a long time.

"Hey, Wanda."

Wanda runs at her then, wrapping her arms around her tightly within seconds, and Harper almost staggers back from the force of Wanda running into her. She stays up, hugging the older girl back after a couple of seconds, as she feels Wanda's head lean on her shoulder.

She doesn't know if the hug is supposed to be more of a comfort to her or to Wanda. She figures it's supposed to do both.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Wanda mumbles quietly, and Harper only hugs her a bit tighter, because she doesn't know what to say.

She feels like she'd be lying to herself and Wanda if she said that she's okay.

She looks over Wanda's shoulder, slowly pulling back from the hug when she sees the other person who's come into the room, and for a second she's at a loss for words because she hasn't seen them in God knows how long.

"Steve."

This time, she's the one rushing forward for a hug, because she's really, really missed Steve, and part of her still can't believe that he's here. She can't believe that they're out of that place.

None of it feels real. None of it.

* * *

"You're all welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like. Our services and hospitality are forever extended to you all."

Harper's trying to listen to T'Challa as he talks, though it's kinda hard considering she's too focused on trying to adjust to her surroundings. The suite that the newly appointed King has set them up in is incredible. One would be understating it to describe it as luxurious. It's practically a house in and of itself, with multiple rooms, all of which have luxurious bathrooms attached, a living room area and a fully equipped kitchen included.

It's not the same as home, but it's not a bad place to stay in.

It's seem so perfect. Too perfect, actually. Maybe that's why Harper's struggling to adjust. She's not used to things being like this. She's gotten so used to the crap food and the confined cell and the constant feeling of pain and fear that anything else seems unorthodox and foreign.

Her head's all over the place. It has been since the first time she woke up. She doesn't know how she's supposed to feel, and she doesn't understand how she's supposed to cope with all of her thoughts when she can't even put them into a coherent sequence.

In short, things don't feel okay despite the fact that they may look it.

"Thank you." Steve responds politely, and Harper knows he's trying to speak on her behalf.

She's aware that Wanda's eyes are on her and they have been the entire time. The older girl's sat beside her on the couch, Steve on her other side. Scott and Clint are both sat on bar stools by the kitchen, whilst Sam's stood at the side of the room, leaning back against the white wall.

It's strange to be in such a close proximity to one another after being trapped in cells for almost two months.

"We've talked about this, Captain. There's no need to thank me. It's the least I could do for you all after everything." T'Challa replies modestly, casting a glance in Clint and Scott's direction, "My correspondents are still working on a deal to get you both back to your families. I can assure you that a deal will be made that works for everyone."

Clint and Scott both want to get back to their families as soon as possible, which of course makes sense, but given their current situation that's easier said than done. With any luck, T'Challa and his correspondents will find a way to make it work.

"Thank you, your Lordship." Scott responds, standing from his stool and bowing gracefully to the King, Clint and Sam both laughing at his actions.

"He's a King, Tic Tac. Not a Lord." Sam remarks, smirking.

Scott sheepishly retreats back into his seat as T'Challa laughs too. Wanda and Steve even smile. Harper doesn't, and she notices out of the corner of her eye that Wanda's smile turns to a frown when she notices.

She was hoping that she wouldn't notice.

"You were close." T'Challa says, smiling, before glancing around at the rest of the group, "I shall leave you all to settle in. If you need anything, let one of the guards know and we can arrange it for you."

"Thank you." Steve repeats, and T'Challa nods respectfully before turning and heading for the door.

She's grateful - that she knows. T'Challa's been more than accommodating to them all, and without him offering them asylum in his country, who knows what they would've done? It's not like they can go home anymore.

"My sister has expressed her interest in having you work in her lab, Harper." T'Challa adds, turning back to her when he pulls the door open, adding with a polite smile, "Whenever you're ready, of course."

She's intrigued by the offer, though admittedly she's not giving it too much thought right now. Right now, her head's in a bit of a scramble, and if she's being perfectly honest, she's only half listening to anything that anyone's saying right now.

It's like she's running on autopilot. Everything seems to be working okay, but she doesn't feel like she's in control of any of it. Physically, she's okay, which she supposes she should view as a positive even though she's struggling to.

"She's looking forward to it." Wanda says politely, speaking on Harper's behalf like Steve did before her, and T'Challa nods back before stepping out of the suite, pulling the door shut behind him.

Harper figures it would be cool to work in the lab. She saw some of the tech in there and was impressed, so it'd be interesting to get to work with it. At least she thinks it would be. She's not really sure where her head's at with anything right now.

"Well, I'm gonna go check out the mess hall here. I could do with a good meal. Anyone else in?" Scott declares, clapping his hands together loudly as he rises from his seat, and Harper involuntarily flinches at the sound. Thankfully no one notices.

"Why not, Tic Tac?" Sam responds, shrugging, "You in, Barton?"

"Sure." Clint agrees, rising out of his own seat and heading for the door along with Scott and Sam, pausing by the couch as he goes, "Wanda?"

Wanda nods back mutely as Clint heads for the door, though Harper doesn't notice either of them as she continues to focus on the wall, still too wrapped up in her own thoughts to really process anything.

"You want me to get you something?" Wanda asks Harper, only catching her attention when she places a hand on her shoulder.

Harper turns away from the wall to look at the older girl, not sure how to react when she sees the concerned expression on her face. Wanda's worried - she knows that all of them are - and she feels like she should reassure them that things are fine, but she doesn't want to lie to them.

"I'm okay." Harper replies quietly, adding as Wanda rises from her seat, "Thanks."

Wanda casts a small smile back at her as she heads for the door, and Harper's acutely aware of both her and Sam looking back at her with concerned eyes just before the door shuts behind them, leaving Harper and Steve sat alone on the clean, comfortable couch.

An actual couch. God, it sure beats that crap excuse for a bed.

"Ross is gonna come after us." She says after a moment, seemingly catching Steve off guard.

"He can't come after us if he doesn't know where we are, Harper." Steve responds reassuringly, and Harper shakes her head, insistent.

"He'll figure it out."

Ross is gonna figure it out. She knows it. Ross is gonna find them, and when he does he's gonna take them back to The Raft. He's not gonna stop until he takes them back there.

"You guys aren't gonna end up in there again."

They are though. Steve doesn't understand. He can't possibly understand because even she doesn't. She doesn't understand anything anymore. She doesn't understand how it's possible to be so scared all the goddamn time, and she doesn't understand how people can be so cruel and twisted. She doesn't understand what any of them did to deserve this.

She figures it's her lack of understanding, and fear thereof, that makes her snap.

"How can you possibly know that, Steve?! How can you know anything, anymore?! Because I know nothing anymore! I know nothing!" Harper shouts, rising up from her seat, and she doesn't even realizing that she's shaking at first.

She doesn't know if it's from anger or fear, but Steve notices it, and the concern and confusion on his face makes Harper instantly feel guilty.

She keeps screwing things up.

"I-I'm sorry." She murmurs shakily, blinking rapidly as she tries to calm down, and she can feel herself shaking even as her breathing begins to level out, "I-I didn't mean to get angry..."

Anger never gets her anywhere. Anger leads to her lashing out, and lashing out leads to punishment. She doesn't want to end up in the darkness again. She's been in there enough to know that she can't stand it.

"It's okay." Steve tells her, standing up himself, and he hesitates for only a moment before he reaches out and places a hand on her shoulder.

It's not. None of it's okay.

"I-I was trying to fix it, Steve! I really fucking tried! A-and when we were in there, I-I tried to protect them! I tried to protect Wanda! I-I swear I did!" She cries, fully aware of the fact that she's crying but beyond the point of caring, because she's _so_ tired and scared, and she just wants everything to stop.

The concern of Steve's face is beyond painful at this point, and it only makes Harper feel guiltier, especially when Steve kneels down in front of her with a pained expression of his own, hand remaining on her shoulder as an act of comfort.

"You did protect them, Harper. You're all safe now."

That's the word she keeps hearing. Safe. She's safe. They're all safe. Steve saved them. He got them out. They're not going back there.

If that's all true, then why doesn't she feel safe? Why does she feel like Ross is gonna appear out of nowhere and take them back there?

Why is she always afraid, and why does it feel like she's never gonna stop feeling that way?


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HEADING INTO DARK TERRITORY GUYS
> 
> The next few chapters are going to touch on some dark topics you guys. Among those are frequent mentions of death and implied suicidal thoughts. If any of this triggers you guys, please stay away. Please put yourselves first guys.

"New York's own Spider-Man swung in earlier today and saved a school bus that almost went careening off the Brooklyn Bridge. The masked crusader quickly fled the scene after his heroic feat, but rest assured the students that were on the bus and their families are grateful for his hero-."

The flat screen goes black in the middle of the reporters sentence, and in its reflection she catches a glance of Wanda as she places the remote back on the marble countertop in the kitchen. She probably shouldn't be surprised that Wanda's here. Someone's _always_ there.

It feels like she's under constant surveillance. They've only been here for a couple of days, and every day seems to be the exact same, so much so that she's been struggling to separate one day from the next. Maybe that's because she hasn't been sleeping. Without the rest to break it up, days don't feel like days.

Everything just feels like one long, exhausting period of time, and the worst thing is that she doesn't know she feels about anything anymore. On top of that, every fibre of her being has been trying to block out the stuff that happened in that awful place, but no matter how hard she tries she just can't seem to escape from it.

It feels like she's sprinting constantly, but everyone and everything else around her are like a thousand paces ahead. It's goddamn exhausting.

She figures that the others have realized that and that's why they're constantly watching over her. They probably think that she hasn't realised it, that she's too caught up in her own head to notice what they're doing, but she's not stupid.

"I know what you're thinking." Wanda remarks, looking down at Harper from behind the couch.

"Didn't know you could read minds." Harper responds bluntly, eyes remaining fixed on the now blank screen, "Any reason you turned it off or...?"

"Because I know that you're stressing yourself out over something you can't control."

Wanda knows her well. There's no denying that. When you live with someone for over a year and literally put your life on the line beside them, you get to know them quite well.

Harper sighs defeatedly, "It's been two months. I said I'd contact him."

She constantly feels like she bailed on Peter after Leipzig. Sure, she didn't have any say in what happened, and given everything that did happen it's probably for the best that she didn't get in contact with Peter right after the airport incident. Ross was probably monitoring her in those days before he took her to The Raft, and being in contact with Peter would've only given Ross a direct link to him.

She'd go back into that place willingly if it meant that Peter would never end up in there. She'd go back in there if it kept all of them out. She's smart enough to know that's an impossibility though. She could probably offer Ross everything he ever wanted and he still wouldn't be satisfied.

"Stark would've told him what happened." Wanda says reassuringly.

"But what if he hasn't?" Harper asks, glancing over her shoulder at the older girl, "He'll think I bailed on him."

There's a chance that Mr Stark's told Peter what happened. There's a chance that he knows why she hasn't been able to contact him, but there's also a chance that he doesn't. There's a chance that Mr Stark's just kept him out of the loop of all of it, and part of her hopes that's the case. Part of her hopes that it is because Peter still sees the world in black and white.

He sees the good guys and the bad guys. He's morally untainted, and everything he does he does because he knows it's the right thing to do. He's not driven by his own selfish intentions or his own vendetta. He doesn't understand how cruel and harsh the world and the people in it can truly be, and he doesn't realize that even the people who are supposed to protect the world are flawed and fall victim to their own weaknesses more often than anyone realizes.

Part of her wants Peter to be unaware of what's happened, but then the other part of her hopes that he knows. She wants him to know that she didn't just bail on him and that he's still her friend, and that regardless of what happens she's always gonna have his back.

It's just kinda hard to do that when you're taking asylum in a technologically advanced African nation whilst being on the run from a corrupt government. You know, normal teenage stuff.

"Why wouldn't he tell him?" Wanda asks. Harper knows what she's trying to do. Wanda's trying to appeal to her sense of logic. Technically speaking, Mr Stark doesn't have a reason not to tell Peter what happened, or at least certain parts of what happened.

Unfortunately for Wanda, Harper's not exactly at the point of accepting logic and being done with it right now. Her mind's usually logical, or at least it used to be, but now she doesn't feel like she has a grasp on her mind or where her thoughts are.

"I said that I'd contact him." Harper insists, and Wanda sighs, circling around the couch to take a seat next to her.

"We've talked about this."

"You mean you've all told me not to do it." Harper scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief, "I can teleport. I would be in and out before anyone even noticed."

She wouldn't need long. Five minutes max. She just needs five minutes to talk to Peter and offer him a way to contact her, and then she'd be right back in Wakanda. No one would ever know that she was there.

"And what if they found the phone?" Wanda questions.

A crappy phone is all she needs. One that he can use specifically for calling her, and even then it'll only be for emergencies. It'll be inconspicuous, as she's tried to tell the others, but none of them are buying it. They all keep saying the exact same stuff that Wanda's saying when she tries to argue her case, and Harper always responds in the exact same way.

"It's called a burner phone for a reason."

"It's too risky. For us and for him." Wanda says, sighing, reaching out and placing a hand on Harper's arm, "I know he's your friend, but you've got to keep yourself safe too."

"As everyone keeps saying." Harper grumbles.

"We wouldn't keep saying it if you actually listened to us." Wanda quips, and Harper notices the small teasing smile on her face as she glances back at the older girl, though it soon fades when she sees her appearance up close, "Did you go to bed last night?"

And there it is. The concern that makes Harper feel unexplainably guilty whilst simultaneously frustrating her to no end. She appreciates that they all care, but she gets the sense that they think she's fragile. That she can't handle things on her own and it's not long before she breaks.

She didn't sleep last night. She hasn't been sleeping since she got here, and so far she's been able to keep that under wraps. She doesn't want them to know because they're gonna start asking questions, and it'll be impossible to answer them because she doesn't know anything anymore.

Her only option is to keep running, no matter how tired of it she is.

"I'm late for Shuri." Harper responds, standing from her seat and hastily heading for the door.

Teleportation's back, but at the same time she's aware that she's tired, and she knows from experience that trying to teleport when she's exhausted is a bad idea.

"Harper-." Wanda says, tone pleading and concern. Harper ignores her, stepping out of the suite and closing the door behind her, and Wanda sighs defeatedly when she's gone.

She figures she should've expected it. It ends like this every time she tries. It ends like this every time _any_ of them try.

"What'd I tell you? The kid's not okay."

Wanda sighs, turning to face Clint as he walks into the room. Steve and Sam follow him out, coming out of their own respective rooms. Sam heads straight for the kitchen whilst Steve and Clint move into the living room space, Clint sitting in the armchair as Steve takes a seat beside Wanda, sighing.

"It's been two days." He admits, "I'd be more worried if she was okay already."

"She's trying to act like she is." Sam says, rooting around in the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water, twisting the cap off and turning back to the group, "She's trying to act like everything's normal. It's what she does."

"Kid's never been a good actor." Clint remarks.

"I still don't think we should be eavesdropping like this." Wanda says guiltily, turning towards Steve pleadingly, "If she wants to open up to one of us, she will."

They've all been excusing it as looking out for Harper, but Wanda's had her doubts. They all want to help her - that's all any of them want - but that's becoming impossible given that Harper won't open up to any of them. Still, she feels like monitoring her in this way isn't the right way to do it. It's only gonna end in her getting angry if she realizes.

"We're all concerned about her, Wanda. We all just wanna know what's going on." Steve replies, though Wanda can tell by his expression that he's just as conflicted as she is.

She knows that all of this has been hard on Steve. She's been struggling somewhat to adjust herself, and she knows that Steve's been pinning that on himself. She's told him not too, but it's Steve so that's hardly changed anything.

"But is this the best way to do it?" Wanda asks, glancing around at the three guys pleadingly, and Steve sighs again.

"Maybe not, but if we all try and talk to her at once-."

"It'll look like a crappy intervention, and that'll only make her spiral." Clint interjects, tone blunt and straight to the point, "The kid's a ticking time bomb, and the last thing we want to do is set her off."

"You think she's dangerous or something, Barton?" Sam questions, tone accusatory, as he walks out from the kitchen, standing at a distance from the other man as he grips the water bottle tightly in his hands.

"Never said that, Wilson." Clint responds, adding with a sigh, "Look, if she spirals, after everything that's happened, it's gonna be bad."

Clint's not wrong. Even Sam knows that. If Harper spirals and really loses it, it's gonna hit her hard.

"I think she's already spiralling." Wanda admits, "I don't think she's been sleeping."

The guys had noticed that too. All of them have noticed how sluggish Harper's been - how tired and pale she's looked. She's starting to look like how she did on The Raft again. The issue is, Harper has a tendency to run away when she's confronted with something she doesn't want to face. Who knows if talking is even gonna work anymore? If talking doesn't work, what will?

The final unopened door swings open, Scott tumbling out still in his grey pyjamas with his usual bed head, rubbing the side of his head as he blinks tiredly. He stumbles over to the kitchen, yawning quietly as his feet move along the tiles.

"Morning." He murmurs, hand moving down to his stomach as he reaches the kitchen, "Man, I'm starving."

It's almost funny - how unaware Scott is. He's completely unaware of the conversation he's walked in on as he reaches into one of the white cupboards in the kitchen, pulling out an open box of Fruity Pebbles and placing them down on the counter.

"Those are Harper's." Sam says bluntly.

He asked the guards to get some in for the girl yesterday, and within hours they had stocked the cupboards with multiple boxes. He was hoping that she might enjoy them, though it seems that Scott is enjoying them more than her at the minute.

"She likes Fruity Pebbles too?" Scott questions, sounding both surprised and excited as he pours some pieces into a bowl, pausing halfway and turning back to the others, "Wait, did I miss something?"

* * *

"What are they, exactly?" Harper questions curiously, turning her wrist around to examine the new accessory that Shuri's gifted her in detail.

"Kimoyo Beads. Advanced communications technology developed from Vibranium. We usually receive them at birth, but brother said it was okay to give you a set for research purposes." Shuri explains as she crosses the lab, coming back with her own set of Kimoyo Beads secured around her wrist.

Shuri's spent part of the morning giving Harper a short tour around her lab, showing her where things are kept and how to operate some of the more advanced technology. Harper would be lying if she said that the stuff Shuri's developed isn't cool.

"You sure you're up for this? You look exhaust-."

"I'm fine." Harper interjects, nodding to the beads on her wrist, "You gonna show me how these things work?"

Shuri's not like the others. She doesn't continue to question her even though part of her clearly wants too, and Harper appreciates that. She figures working in her lab will be a good distraction. She's sick of having to focus on the fact that everything's falling apart all the time.

She really needs a break.

"You see that screen?" Shuri asks, gesturing to a holographic monitor over on one of the desks, and Harper nods, "Watch this."

Harper watches as Shuri taps a single finger against one of the beads, causing it to illuminate a bright blue color. Grinning, Shuri taps the Kimoyo Beads once more, producing a holographic image of the information on the monitor.

"That's awesome." Harper murmurs, looking in awe at the hologram as Shuri smiles.

"This is nothing." Shuri replies, "The Kimoyo Beads are capable of far more than any technology on Earth."

Harper almost smiles, because it's been a long time since she's seen something this cool that actually excites her, but she doesn't. She doesn't, because it's at that time that she notices what information the holograms actually displaying.

"Is that your report on me?" She asks, turning towards Shuri, "From when Steve and the others brought me here?"

Shuri nods, "I'm still trying to figure out exactly what they put in what they gave you. The formula doesn't match any known chemical on the database."

Harper glances back at the hologram, looking at the chemical formula for herself. It's strange, because it does look somewhat familiar to her, but if Shuri's right, then how can she possibly recognise it? If Shuri's database doesn't have the chemical, she highly doubts she's gonna know it...

Unless it's not a chemical.

"That's because it's not a chemical. It's a compound." Harper murmurs in realization, reaching out and tapping at the hologram, "Look. They've changed the composition, but if you rearrange it..."

A few moments of rearranging the formula is all Harper needs to realize what the compound is, both her and Shuri recognizing it at the sam time.

"Dimethyl Cadmium."

Dimethyl Cadmium. It's an Organocadmium compound that's colorless as a liquid. It's highly toxic, not only to the lungs, but also to the liver and the kidneys when it gets into the bloodstream. In other words...

"They were trying to kill me." Harper murmurs, "The toxin should've killed me in minutes."

They had to have been trying to kill her. Dimethyl Cadmium isn't the kind of substance that can accidentally be slipped into a dosage of a self-cultivated drug. It's not the kind of substance that can be injected into the body and have no effect.

"I told you your healing capabilities were advanced." Shuri says, quickly closing down the hologram and turning towards Harper, "The way your body reacted must've been because it was trying to expel the toxin."

It's like an immune response, except it's not because people aren't supposed to be able to respond to the consumption of such a strong toxin. She should've died from that dose. Her body shouldn't have responded in the way that it did.

She should've died. She should be dead. Maybe she deserves to be dead after what she did. Maybe she should've stayed in that place...no! No, that's crazy! She doesn't deserve to die. No one does.

God, what's wrong with her? No! Nothing's wrong with her! She's fine. Everything's fine. She has things under control. Things are gonna be fine. She can fix things.

No she can't. She can't fix anything. Everything's broken and it's her fault.

"Harper, wait!"

She's running, stumbling really, out of the lab, and she's only acutely aware of Shuri calling after her as she bursts through the door.

She keeps moving. She always has to keep moving. If she stops, everything's gonna catch up to her. She's gonna fall behind and get trapped again.

She keeps moving and moving, and she honestly doesn't know how long she's moving for. This is place is too big and complicated, and it just feels like she's moving in circles because every room looks exactly the same.

Maybe she's trapped. Maybe that's it. Maybe she's just trapped in the same room, endlessly stumbling around in circles because she doesn't know where to go. She doesn't even know anymore.

_"This is what you're good at, right? Running away from your problems."_

She pauses, confused, and when she turns she sees...no, that isn't possible.

It's like she's looking in a mirror.

She scoffs, tone callous, _"It's a shame that you're the problem. Can't exactly run away from yourself."_

The words echo in her mind so loud that her head aches, and she's acutely aware of her heart pounding as if she's just ran a marathon, and she seems to know it too as her face warps into a sick smirk.

"Shut up." Harper warns, fists clenched, and the smirk grows.

_"You don't want to hear it because you know it's true."_

"Shut up!"

The beam of light shoots towards her, though she dodges it with ease, and it instead hits a mosaic pinned perfectly on the white wall. It crashes to the floor, tiles scattering everywhere with a loud bang.

 _"See what I mean? You're only good for destroying things, Harper."_ She taunts, _"You're gonna drag the rest of them down with you and you don't even care."_

"That's not true."

_"You're a monster. You've always been a monster."_

She's a monster...no! No, she can't be! She didn't mean to! She didn't want to! She couldn't stop any of it! She couldn't...

"Stop it!" Harper snaps, voice raised and shaky.

"You know what you did." She says harshly, _"You've been trying to forget about it, but you can't. You can't run from it."_

"I-I wasn't in control. It wasn't my..."

She wasn't in control. If she was, she would've stopped it. She swears she would've stopped it if she could. They have to believe her. They have to...

_"You're always in control. You just used what happened as an excuse. You were already a monster before they got hold of you, you know?"_

"Stop calling me that!" Harper screams, a second ray of light blasting across the room and missing like the last one.

Another mosaic hits the floor.

 _"Would you prefer if I used the term murderer? It's more accurate, isn't it?"_ She questions, eyebrow quirked.

It's a fucking game for her. She's enjoying it.

"Shut up!"

 _"You're right. You should be dead."_ She responds without hesitation, _"You deserve to be. You're only going to get the rest of them killed."_

"Stop!"

Maybe she's right. Maybe she's right about all of it. Maybe...no! No! She's wrong! She has to be wrong!

"Why do you get to live? Why are you the one whose body can fight off a deadly toxin? Why do you get that privilege after everything you've done? After everything you've caused?"

It's too much. Her head's pounding and heart's racing, and she feels like her mind's about to explode, and she can't cope with it. How is she supposed to? How is she supposed to do anything after what she did? She's right. She's a monster.

"Leave me alone!"

She screams, falling to her knees as he hands come up to cover her ears, and she pulls her head into her knees as she tries to block her out. She's scared to listen. She's scared because part of her thinks she's right. She is a monster. She's done some terrible things, and she's only making things difficult for her friends. For her family.

She's the problem.

_"You'll get Peter killed too, you know? Even if you're not there, it'll still be your fault, because you'll be too busy hiding to help him. You'll be too busy running like the coward you are."_

No. No, she won't let that happen.

She can't let that happen. She promised herself that she'd protect him.

She's gonna put him in danger. She's the problem. She's gonna get him killed.

"Leave me alone! Leave! Me! Alone!"

"Harper!"

She hears another voice that's not her own, and then she feels a hand on her shoulder. She stumbles back, and it's only when her back hits the wall that she realizes she's shaking, and the sweat is practically dripping through her t-shirt as her heart beats out of her chest.

She sees Steve. He's kneeling down on the ground across from her, eyes full of concern and confusing, and his hand's still hovering in the air where she retracted from him.

"Steve?" She murmurs shakily, aware of the sweat running down the side of her aching temples and the way her heart continues to pound at an alarming rate.

"Yeah, kid. It's me." He responds calmly, forcing a small smile onto his face as he continues to keep his distance, "What's going on?"

"I uh...I..." Harper murmurs, voice trailing off as her throat runs dry.

Steve looks like he's gonna say something more, but then the door bursts open. Harper tries to back up even more, finding herself stopped by the wall, and it takes her a second to realize that Wanda's the one entering the room, a look of pure relief crossing her face when she spots Harper.

"Oh, thank God! We've been trying to find you for thirty minutes!" She gasps, rushing forward, confusion crossing her face when Steve holds out an arm to stop her. She looks down at him, puzzled, before looking back at Harper, expression quickly becoming concerned when she sees her state.

She's seen Harper in a dark place. They all have. They've all seen each other at their lowest points. Even before The Raft...they've all experienced bad shit, and bad shit has consequences far beyond a few cuts and bruises.

Even then, Wanda's certain that she's never seen Harper like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos appreciated. Stay safe everyone!


	12. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLIED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PANIC ATTACKS, MENTIONS AND USE OF DRUGS
> 
> If any of these are triggers for you guys, please stay away. Put yourselves first guys.

It's not long after Harper leaves the suite, presumably heading for Shuri's lab again, that the others get talking. Scott's not present, having left the suite early in the morning before any of them for some reason, which stands out as odd to the others because Scott's not the type to wake up early in the morning for anything. Even on The Raft, Scott was usually the last one to wake up.

The others are there. Steve and Wanda sat in the living room, Sam and Clint stood in the kitchen, all four of them engaged in their worrying conversation about Harper. If what happened the other day told them anything, it's that the girl is falling apart slowly and painfully, regardless of whether or not she wants to face that fact.

She's anxious, constantly agitated and fitful, and to top it all off she hasn't slept properly in over a week. It's clear she's sleep deprived and exhausted, and they're getting to the point where more drastic intervention is needed. None of them ever wanted it to get to this point, and Sam's not happy about what the others are suggesting they do next.

"She's getting worse, Sam. We've tried talking and it's gotten us nowhere. This is the next best option." Clint reasons, countering Sam's fifth consecutive protest to their new plan.

"What is? Drugging the kid to sleep?" Sam questions incredulously, "How does that make us any different from Ross?"

"Because we're not experimenting on her, Wilson!" Clint responds frustratedly, "She hasn't slept properly in almost a week!"

None of them want to do this, especially after what happened on The Raft, but the drugs are gonna help the kid sleep, and they all know that what the kid needs right now is rest. Sam seems to think that this is what they want, and that's frustrating Clint because that's not the case.

"And you think drugging her is gonna make her want to sleep more?!" Sam snaps back, casting a glance in Steve's direction, "Steve, back me up here."

Steve sighs exasperatedly, "We've all tried to talk to her, Sam. She's not opening up to any of us. Not even Wanda."

Part of Steve is completely on Sam's side, because part of him knows that this is probably a bad idea. They don't know how Harper's gonna respond to this. She's different to how she was before The Raft as it is, and the fact that she's sleep deprived has made her more irrational than she's ever been.

They've all seen how prone to losing it she's become, and something tells Steve that this is something that'll set her over the edge.

But the other part of him, the highly concerned part, knows that they're running out of options, and the kid needs to rest. She's not herself - he doesn't know if she ever will be - but he does know that nothing's gonna change if she's sleep deprived and not in her right mind.

"She needs time."

"Sam, you didn't see her the other day. She's not herself." Steve says.

"Of course she's not!" Sam snaps back, clearly angry and frustrated, "They tortured her in there! She's scared all the time, and a couple of pills aren't gonna fix that! They'll only make things worse!"

Sam pauses after his small outburst, looking around at the other three with an exasperated expression. He was expecting an argument, and when he doesn't get it, he falters. He knows the others care about Harper, but he just wants to protect the kid. She shouldn't be the one with all of this trauma and fear and pain. It should be him or Clint. Not the kids, and not Scott. None of them really knew what they were getting themselves into, at least not really. He did, and so did Clint. They should be the ones having to bare all of this shit.

Sighing, he remarks in a level tone, scaling it down from his prior outburst, "She's only gonna freak out."

"He's right. She will freak out."

The three men turn towards Wanda. This is the first time she's spoken up in the entire conversation. They know that Wanda's struggling with some stuff of her own as it is - she was in a straitjacket and shock collar for two months, and though their efforts were mostly focused on Harper, the guards and Ross still found some time to be cruel to the other girl on the prison.

They also know that Wanda blames herself a lot for how Harper is despite the fact that it's not her fault. She's worrying herself sick over the girl, and it's clear that she's struggling.

The difference between Harper and Wanda, however, is that Wanda recognizes that she's struggling. She's been talking to them where she feels like it'll help, and she's been accepting the help that she's being offered.

"The pills are helping you sleep better, aren't they?" Clint asks.

Wanda's been taking them since they got out of The Raft. She didn't sleep well on the first night and she admitted it when the others noticed how sluggish she was. They spoke to a doctor from the med bay, who offered the pills as an option. Wanda took them after some thought, though the guys reminded her that she could choose to stop taking them at any time.

Some nights she doesn't need them, but on other nights the thought of trying to sleep without them terrifies her.

"Yes, but I wasn't drugged every day like she was." Wanda counters, sighing, "This isn't a good idea."

Steve sighs, reaching out and placing a hand on Wanda's shoulder, grip reassuring. He knows how much this all bothers Wanda. She's not as vocal as Sam is about it, but he knows that she hates this as much as he does.

"Nobody said it was, Wanda, but it's the only one we've got."

That's what Steve keeps telling himself. They're running out of options. That's why they have to do this. They're trying to help Harper before she falls off the edge completely. That's why they have to do this.

"Let me try one more time." Wanda insists, and Steve sighs again.

"Wanda-."

"Just one more time, Steve." She interjects determinedly, glancing around at the three men, "I'd rather convince her to agree to this than force her to take them."

Steve hesitates, and so does Clint, because both of them know how badly this could go if Harper finds out what they're trying to do. She's not in her right mind - she hasn't been since they got out of The Raft - and both of them feel like this is the kinda thing that's really gonna set her off.

"It's worth a shot." Sam says with a shrug, and Wanda smiles appreciatively in his direction.

"I'll talk to her at dinner." Wanda decides, adding with a slight smile, "She's less cranky after she's eaten."

* * *

Harper's lost. Not physically, because physically she knows that she's in Wakanda. She knows that she's in T'Challa's palace, the medical bay of the palace to be precise. There may be a lot that she doesn't know right now, but that's something she knows for sure.

She's lost in the sense that she doesn't understand how she feels. She doesn't understand where her head's at. Maybe she hasn't for a long time. Maybe she lost it when HYDRA got ahold of her. When that happened, she lost control, because as long as those trigger words still work she's never gonna be fully in control again.

Part of her knows that she should talk about it. She hasn't been listening to that part, instead opting to push the others away. She knows they've been trying, and yeah maybe she's been a bit of a jackass by pushing them away, but she's doing them a favor. If she's gonna crash and burn, there's no use in bringing all of them down with her.

Besides, none of them get it. Not really. None of them can understand. There's only one person she can think of that might, and right now he's in cryo-freeze in the same medical facility that she's sat in. Right opposite her, in fact.

"How do you cope when...?"

Her voice trails off, suddenly feeling subconscious in front of a man that can't even hear or see her right now. She can see him in the capsule, ice at the corners of the glass, and it's clear that he's frozen and completely unconscious. Even then, she can't bring herself to say it out loud.

She knows what she did, and somehow talking about it makes it worse. She didn't think that was even possible.

"I mean, I don't even know if you remember it. Sometimes I don't. I don't know why..."

Again, no response. She doesn't know what she was thinking. She thought that it might help - that somehow Bucky would be able to hear her and respond. HYDRA took control of his head too and he was forced to do their bidding for years. He understands more than anyone.

It's strange. She hardly knows him, yet he somehow misses him. She wishes she could just talk to someone who gets it.

She knows that she could get the same treatment as Bucky. She could be put on ice whilst Shuri figures out how to reverse the programming, but the prospect of it concerns her even more than the thought of having no control. At least when she's in the real world she's conscious of what's happening. On ice, she's completely disconnected.

"Who am I kidding? It's not like you can hear me in there." She scoffs, adding with a hopeless sigh, "I just...I guess I could talk to someone who gets it, you know? Someone who won't think I'm crazy, cause I'm not, you know?"

"I don't think you're crazy, if that helps."

She jumps at the sound of a second voice, initially not recognizing it, because the last time she checked she was the only conscious person in the med bay. She relaxes somewhat when she sees Scott, the joyful man approaching her tentatively and with something in his hands.

"I did knock, but the door's all the way up there, so..." He murmurs apologetically, noticing her perturbed expression, and she sighs and drops her stern demeanor.

Scott's harmless. He's the kind of person you can't bring yourself to remain mad or annoyed at, and the thing is that he doesn't even have to try. He's just a likeable person.

"It's okay, Scott. I should've heard it."

She's surprised that she didn't. Her hearing hasn't been as sharp these last couple of days. None of her senses have been.

Scott nods, quickly glancing between the girl and the frozen man in the capsule, and for a moment Harper thinks that he's gonna ask what's going on. He doesn't, instead taking a seat in the spot beside Harper, nodding to the mystery item in his hand with a grin, "I raided the kitchen, and look what I found!"

Harper glances down at Scott's hand, quirking an eyebrow when she sees his discovery, "Orange slices, huh?"

"Mhm, and I'm choosing to share them with you." Scott responds with a point at Harper, grinning excitedly.

"Why?"

"Because we're friends." Scott replies instantly, shrugging, "And besides, I want you to understand why I like them so much."

"I've had orange slices before, Scott." Harper replies.

She doesn't understand Scott's fascination with the fruit. It's just an orange broken up into slices. It's nothing special.

Scott seems to think otherwise.

"Yes. But back then you wouldn't have appreciated the value of them. Now you can." Scott insists, extending a couple of slices out to Harper eagerly, "Try it."

Harper accepts the orange slices after a moment. She's not too hungry - she hasn't really had much of an appetite since they got out of The Raft - but she finds it hard to refuse when she sees the expression on Scott's face.

"It's good." She admits after taking a bite out of one of the slices, shrugging. She still doesn't get the hype behind them, but if Scott enjoys them, who is she to stop that?

Besides, they are pretty good as far as fruit goes.

"Right?" Scott replies enthusiastically, swallowing a slice of his own before asking, somewhat apprehensive, "So, uh, how have you been holding up, anyway?"

And there it is. She knew it had to be coming eventually. They all ask the same questions, just changing the wording to suit them all individually. It's all the same, day in day out, and she always responds in the exact same way.

"Okay." She murmurs, shrugging.

_"Why are you lying to him?"_

She sighs tiredly, forcing her eyes shut for a moment before snapping them open again. She tries the same thing every time, and every time she doesn't go away no matter how much she wills it to happen. She always remains in front of her, sick and confident smirk plastered on her dark face, and sometimes she wonders if she really looks like that.

_"Why are you lying to all of them? Wouldn't it be easier to just give up?"_

She tries to ignore her like always, but she's come to the conclusion that it's kinda hard to ignore someone when they're you. It's kinda hard to pretend that what someone's saying isn't real when the person who's saying it is yourself.

"Harper."

She snaps out of it for a moment, turning back to Scott abruptly, "What?"

"When was the last time you slept?" He asks her, alarming concern etched across his face.

"Not you too." Harper scoffs, standing up and turning away from Scott with an exasperated sigh, "I've already told the others that I'm fine. Why can't you guys just believe me?"

She's doing the right thing. Push him away. Don't drag him into this. He doesn't understand. He can't possibly understand. None of them can. The further away they are from it - from _her_ \- the better.

"Look, Harper. I don't know you as well as the others do, but we spent two months in that place together, and I think I know you well enough to tell when you're lying." Scott says, rising from his seat too, tentatively approaching the girl, "We're just worried, that's all."

She can't see him, but she can hear the worry in his voice. She can hear how stressed he's becoming.

 _"See what I mean? You're stressing them out. You're harming them and you're not even trying to."_ She hisses, moving to stand directly in front of Harper, sick grin and all, _"You're the problem that should've been killed by that toxin. You're the root of all their problems."_

She's right. She's the problem. She's only making things worse. She's hurting all of them and she's not even trying too. She's a monster.

"Harper, you okay?"

 _"You should be dead, and you know it. They all know it."_ She hisses, her harsh tone drowning out Scott's kinder one, _"They all know what you've done. What kind of a person you are."_

She's the monster. She should be dead. No! No, she shouldn't be! She's not the problem! She's just being sick and twisted.

"Shut up!" Harper screams at her; her smirk grows at the sight of Harper's distress.

"W-what did I say?" Scott stutters, watching the girl's sudden outburst with confusion, and Harper's stomach sinks when she hears the guilty and worried tone in his voice.

She caused that.

_"And now you've upset Scott. You just keep screwing up, don't you? And you know it."_

"I keep screwing up." Harper murmurs, the thought echoing through her mind.

She's the problem. She's the one who keeps screwing up. She's causing all of this pain. She's a monster. It's all her fault.

"Screwing up? Screwing up what?" Scott questions.

_"You're the problem."_

"I'm the problem."

She feels it in her chest at first. She feels the pain in her chest, and then in her throat, and then the nausea sets in as the pace of her breathing quickens. She doesn't know when her legs give out, though she does know when she hits the cool tiles beneath her feet, and she hears Scott's panicked murmur as the shaking sets in to accompany the pain.

Scott kneels down in front of her, frantically shouting to one of the guards by the door, though Harper doesn't really hear what he says, the ringing in her ears drowning everything out.

She's the problem. She's stressing Scott out. She keeps causing problems.

She can't fix what she did. She's a monster. She did a terrible thing. He didn't deserve it. No one deserves that.

"It's okay, Harper. We're gonna get help, okay?"

She can barely hear Scott, but she knows that he's panicking. He's trying to reassure her, and she doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve the help. Not after what she did. She's the problem. She's a monster.

"I-I can't breathe."

She's hyperventilating, and God, it hurts. It hurts so much. Maybe that's what she deserves. She did a terrible thing, and now she's paying for it. She's the problem.

"I know it's hard, but you've gotta try, okay?" Scott replies, trying to keep his tone level as he mimics the simple action of breathing, "Copy me. In and out. Like this."

She's pathetic. She can't even breathe properly. She's trying - God, she's trying - but she can't. She can't do it. She can't fix it.

"Scott!"

"Oh, thank God!"

The relief in Scott's voice is palpable as he responds to the other voice, signalling their location hastily, and Harper sees the feet but not the people. She can't look up. Everything hurts too much. She can't control anything.

"What happened?" Steve asks, confused and concerned.

Scott stumbles back as Wanda moves in, Sam maintaining a suitable distance behind her but still nearby for support, because he knows that more than one person could overwhelm the kid. Especially when she's like this. Clint remains by Steve's side, grimacing at the sight of the distressed child at his feet, and he feels like he should be doing more to help, but one look from Wanda warns him otherwise.

Instead, he focuses on Scott, who's distress may be on par with Harper's as he comes to stand alongside him and Steve.

"I-I don't know." He stutters, panicked, "W-We were just talking and she just spiralled. I swear I didn't-."

Steve responds first, reaching out and placing a hand on Scott's shoulder as an act of reassurance, and Clint figures he should've expected that because he's Cap and that's what Cap does. He's trying to keep them all grounded despite the severity of the situation.

Clint looks back in Wanda's direction, watching as the former Sokovian slowly begins to calm the younger girl down, and he can see it on her face that she's just as worried and scared as the rest of them.

They've all had their own experiences with PTSD, among other things. It kinda comes begrudgingly with the job. Clint himself has seen a lot, even before he was an Avenger.

Even then, he's certain he's never seen someone get as bad as this in his career.

* * *

"She kept saying random stuff." Scott explains, pacing back and forth in front of Steve, Sam and Clint, an anxious twitch clear in his expression.

Wanda not in the room right now. She's in Harper's, trying to keep the younger girl calm enough that it's okay for her to be left alone. They brought her back to their suite once they pulled her through the worst of her panic attack, and even then it was clear that the girl's struggling. She's not the only one that's shaken up from it - Steve can see the anxiety and worry on Scott's face. He hasn't stopped pacing since they got back into the suite.

Steve's already tried to reassure him several times, but it hasn't done much for Scott's nerves. The rest of them, they've seen this kind of thing before. They've all had their own experiences with PTSD and sleepless nights. With traumatic experiences and lingering dark thoughts. It's clear to Steve that Scott's been fortunate enough to avoid that territory for the most part.

"Random? What do you mean 'random'?" Sam asks, puzzled.

"Something about screwing up and being the problem. It was like..." Scott responds, voice trailing off as he pauses, and a moment passes before a sudden look of realization crosses his face, "It was like she was talking to someone else but we were the only people there."

Steve inhales sharply, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as it all begins to come together. He should've realized sooner. He saw how she was the other day. He knows how she's been acting. He should've saw the signs sooner.

"Hallucinations. They're a common side effect from sleep deprivation." Steve concludes, sighing heavily.

"You still don't think we need the drugs?" Clint questions, casting a glance in Sam's direction. Steve notices that his tone is lacking the usual snipe that it does when he's talking to Sam. Clint's worried.

Clint - stoic, harsh and straight to the point - Barton is worried. If he didn't already know that things are bad, Steve sure knows it now.

Sam even seems to accept it too, as he doesn't rush to argue with Clint like he usually does. He remains silent, only speaking up when Wanda steps into the room, quietly closing the door to Harper's room behind her.

"How is she?"

"Exhausted, and still refusing to sleep." Wanda sighs, hand coming up to the side of her face tiredly, "I just need to try and talk her into ta-."

"We're beyond the point of talking, Wanda. She's not gonna take them willingly no matter what any of us tell her." Clint replies curtly, and Steve knows that he's right.

Harper's not gonna take the drugs regardless of what they tell her. She's not in a rational state of mind right now, and they've already established that talking isn't getting them away.

"So what? We inject her like those bastards did on The Raft?" Scott questions, surprising everyone with the ferocity of his tone. He sighs, stopping his pacing and remarking defeatedly, "I'm sorry. I just don't like any of this."

"It's okay, Scott." Steve says, placing a hand on the other man's shoulder, casting a glance around at the others, "None of us do, but it's all we've got."

"Do you have it?" Clint asks simply. Steve wordlessly walks into the kitchen, going into one of the far cabinets and reaching right into the back, pulling out the small familiar case and holding it in his hands.

"I got the first round of doses from medical this morning. This should be enough for the first week." He says, nodding to the case, and the others nod back, though it's clear from their expressions that it's not out of confidence.

They all hate this just as much as he does.

"Harper."

Wanda notices her first, the sound of the door creaking open slightly catching her attention, and the younger girl eventually steps out into the room when the others turn towards her. Sam's the first one who realizes it, and it's not long until the others, even Scott, realize it too.

Harper heard them. She knows, which probably explains the frantic look in her eyes that she's clearing trying to hide and why she's heading for the door with a certain pace that can only be described as 'rushed but trying to be inconspicuous'.

"I-I'm going back to the lab. Shuri said she needs some help." Harper murmurs, reaching the door, hand clasping around the handle.

The red wisps form around it as soon as Harper's hand touches it, holding the door in place despite the girls attempts to pull it open. Steve glances in Wanda's direction, noticing the conflicted concentration on the girls face as she keeps the door shut, and her struggle only seems to grow when Harper turns towards her.

"What are you doing?" She questions, tone initially calm, but then the anger becomes to spread across her face, and her calm voice changes into an angrier one as she snaps, "Wanda! Let go of the goddamn door!"

Wanda flinches but stands her ground, keeping her attention focused on keeping the door closed as Harper continues to glare angrily in her direction.

Steve notices it first this time. The glowing in her hands. Even in her exhaustion, her fight or flight response is still there. She gets it sometimes after she wakes up from her nightmares. Even though she's excited, some part of her is still yearning for a fight. Some part of her is always trying to defend herself, even when she doesn't have too.

He knows it's only a matter of time before she acts on it.

"Harper, it's okay." Steve says, cautiously stepping forward with his hands raised non-threatingly.

"Stay away from me!" Harper screams, backing up slightly as her hands continue to glow, and that's when the others step in.

"Harper, please. We're trying to help." Clint tries, mimicking Steve's actions, and Harper's response is only worse as he does that.

"I-I don't need your help! I need to g-get out of here!" She yells defensively, eyes frantic and exhausted and afraid, as she turns and focuses her anger on Wanda, taking a couple of steps towards the older girl, "Wanda, let go!"

Wanda shakes her head, face pain-stricken and guilty as she murmurs quietly, "I'm sorry, Harper."

Steve grabs onto her then, Sam not far behind with Clint, whilst Scott moves towards Wanda, catching the girl when she finally lets go of the door. It's not much for her to handle, but she's still trying to get the hang of her powers again after what happened on The Raft. It's been taking awhile.

"No! Get off me!"

Harper thrashes in Steve's arms, and the super soldier's certain that if it wasn't for her exhaustion and fatigue, her strength alone could've gotten him off of her by now.

The needle goes into her neck, her shouts begin to die down as he pulls it back out, dropping the now empty syringe to the floor as Harper's breathing begins to even out. Steve lifts her into his arms as she begins to pass out, clearly trying to keep herself awake despite the effect of the drug, and the sight of it makes that sinking feeling come back to Steve's stomach.

It's when he glances down at Harper, seeing the betrayal and confusion and fear fade from her face as she finally falls asleep, that it really hits him.

How did they get here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe guys!


	13. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: IMPLICATIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF DRUGS
> 
> NOTHING TOO EXPLICIT, BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL GUYS.

When she wakes up, she doesn't really feel refreshed. Less tired? Yes. But she doesn't feel much better physically other than that.

It takes her a moment to adjust to her surroundings, because she hasn't really spent much time in this room prior to now. She slowly blinks her eyes open, focusing them on the white ceiling above; she'd be lying if she said that the bed isn't comfy, but she figured it would be. If there's ever moments where she forgets that she's not on The Raft anymore, then there are moments like this that remind her that she's not. The last bed she slept on wasn't even a proper bed.

The last time she slept voluntarily was over a week ago, and she says voluntarily because this was not a choice. No, this was forced. They drugged her. Her friends - her _family_ \- drugged her. Steve stuck a goddamn needle into her neck to force her to sleep. Wanda held the door shut so she couldn't leave. Sam, Clint and Scott stood by and let it all happen. She tried to teleport away - of course she did, she's not an idiot - but she couldn't. She couldn't even do that right.

She doesn't understand what they were thinking. Did they think that forcing her to sleep would make everything okay? Did they think that it would erase what's happened? What she's done and caused? Did they think she would wake up and suddenly be clear on everything going on in her head?

None of the above is the case. Nothing's different, and nothing's gonna be different because it can't be, and she still doesn't know what she's thinking or how she really feels about anything...no, that's not true. She knows one thing.

She knows that she's pissed off.

"Hey." Wanda murmurs, noticing her as she sits up. She looks tired, which Harper reckons is a bit hypocritical given the circumstances, as she sits up in the white leather armchair that's positioned at the side of the room. "You were out for forty hours. You must've really needed it." She remarks, a smile that's clearly strained coming to her face.

Harper doesn't respond, instead standing from the bed and moving towards the closet at the side of the room, pulling it open and rooting around inside for some new clothes. She's angry, and Wanda seems to read that, because the older girl doesn't say a word as Harper selects an outfit and steps into the bathroom.

Wanda's still there when she comes back out of the bathroom in the new clothes, though Harper was really hoping that she wouldn't be.

She still doesn't say anything, though out of the corner of her eye Harper can see the pleading look on the older girls face, and she knows it's only a matter of time before she says something, either trying to justify what they did or express incessant and frustrating concern.

"You guys drugged me. Like actually drugged me."

She's says it as it is, tone blunt and full of carefully contained anger that Wanda clearly picks up on. She knows that if she doesn't say something, Wanda's just gonna do it herself, and she's sick of not being in control of the situations that she's in.

Wanda sighs, "We didn't have a choice, Harper. You...you were hallucinating. You needed to rest."

So maybe she was hallucinating, but maybe she needed to see it. Maybe what the hallucination was saying was right.

Harper scoffs, pacing to the desk at the side of the room, grabbing a pen from the surface and spinning it around in her hand absentmindedly. She's been doing that a lot - mindlessly distracting herself with random things. She's been trying to convince herself that it helps, but she's not sure if it does.

"I'm surprised my body didn't just fight it off like it did with the last drug." She remarks coldly, hearing the way Wanda's heart beat spikes as she says it.

Her senses are sharper than before, but that doesn't make the situation any better. She's still pissed off.

"What are you talking about?" Wanda asks, confused.

"Dimethyl Cadmium. That was in the last dose Ross and his scientists gave me before Steve broke us out. It's why I reacted so badly." Harper explains bluntly, dropping the pen on the desk and turning towards Wanda, noticing the other girls horrified expression as she says simply, "It should've killed me."

She should be dead. She deserves to be. A bit of sleep hasn't changed her opinion. It hasn't changed what she knows.

Wanda looks horrified by the situation, which is a direct opposite to Harper. Then again, she's hardly on the same page with any of them anymore, so not much has changed there.

"But it didn't." Wanda insists, tone reassuring. Harper can tell that she's trying to reassure herself of that fact more so than her.

"But it should've." Harper responds, adding with a scoff, "Ross may be a jackass, but I feel bad that the one good thing he did failed."

She despises Ross, and she knows that she will as long as her heart's still beating in her chest, but for all of his faults and mistakes, he did do something good, or at least he tried to. She's a monster and a problem, and by killing her, he would've been doing the world a favor. It's almost ironic that it didn't work. Maybe he's just incapable of doing good even if he tries to.

"Good thing?" Wanda questions, horrified, "Harper, how is that a good thing?"

Wanda doesn't get it. None of them get it. That's the problem.

Part of her knows that she can't expect them to, because that's unfair on her part, but it doesn't make things any easier.

"I'm going to the lab." Harper concludes, heading straight for the bedroom door, ignoring Wanda when she calls her name.

She doesn't get it. None of them do.

She sees the others when she steps into the living room. Scott's on the couch, eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles with the TV switched on in front of him, though his attention's focused on her now. Sam's in the kitchen, washing up some of the dishes that have been left on the countertop whilst Steve sits opposite him. Clint's the only one who's absent, and Harper figures that he must be at the gym, not that it really matters.

They all pause, and so does she, and there's an awkward moment where no one says anything, Harper because she doesn't want to and the guys because they don't know what to say.

"Hey, kid. You hungry?" Sam asks, casually breaking the silence.

She's technically not eaten for almost two days, but she's still not hungry. Maybe it's because she's so desperate to get out of here, and all she can think about is getting away from them, because right now she's not interested in talking to any of them really.

Steve seems to notice it, and when Harper briefly makes eye contact with him on her way to the door, she sees the guilt and regret in his eyes. For a second it makes her feel bad, but then she passes out of the door and she pushes that thought to the back of her complicated and confused mind, focusing instead on getting to the lab and away from all of this.

She just needs to keep moving. That's how she stays alive.

"You look better today." Shuri remarks, turning to Harper as she walks into the lab, and the other girl nods back in recognition, "How are you feeling?"

"Awake. And bored." Harper replies, coming to a stop beside Shuri at her desk, nodding straight to the work on the desk in front of her, "What have you got?"

She could do with a distraction right now. That's what she needs. She needs to preoccupy herself. That's what she was trying to do before they drugged her. She just needs to slip back into that routine, regardless of how disjointed it may be.

Thankfully, Shuri doesn't question her further, though Harper can tell that at least part of her wants to.

"A set of stabilizers malfunctioned this morning and I can't fix them remotely." She explains, nodding over to the monitor displaying the data in front of them, "I've already run a diagnostics check and it seems that the batteries have stop self producing energy. I just need to finish constructing a new set so we can send someone down there to fix it."

"Don't bother. I've got it." Harper replies, shrugging.

She was looking for a distraction - now she's got it.

Besides, she can probably get down onto the track far easier than anyone else. Teleportation and flying has its perks, and perhaps the only good thing that's come from being forced to sleep is that both of them are fully functional again. She can get down there faster than Shuri can even blink.

Shuri quirks an eyebrow at her, "Do you even know how to fix sonic stabilizers?"

"I'm a genius, aren't I?" Harper replies, shrugging. Casting a glance over at the diagnostics on the monitor, she asks, "How long have we got until the first train runs?"

She knows that the trains that transport the Vibranium run on an automated system. It's complicated, admittedly well structured and intricate, but still complicated, and shutting it down will take longer than the time they probably have.

"22 minutes and counting."

It'll definitely take longer than the time they have. That leaves them with a single option.

"Let's see these batteries then."

* * *

"Remember, you've only got five minutes before the first train. I know you're enhanced, but if you get hit-."

They constructed the batteries pretty easily, though that's not saying much considering that the two of them collectively worked on it. It took them longer than expected for the single fact that they were missing a part, Shuri claiming to have misplaced it somewhere around the lab. That wasted a solid eight minutes alone just from searching for the missing part, and by the time they found it and finished constructing the new batteries, the time they had left themselves with to fix the stablizers had become significantly smaller.

Then again, given the circumstances, it's far from impossible, which is why Harper rolls her eyes at the older girl's concern.

"Relax, Shuri." Harper responds, picking up the battery and securing it in an empty slot on the tool belt secured around her waist, Teleportation, remember? Besides, I've dealt with worse than being hit by a train."

"Maybe try not to get hit by a train, genius." Shuri quips back, "Don't forget who's gonna be the one that has to patch you up if you do."

Harper rolls her eyes, teleporting down to the track when Shuri notices, narrowly avoiding an imminent argument with the older girl in doing so. She rematerializes on the track, and the first thing that she notices is the silence. It's the peaceful kind of silence that's kinda hard to find when you're living in a palace surrounded by a crowded city, and it's the kind of silence she hasn't experienced in a long time. The last time she was in pure silence was...

It sure is beautiful as far as underground caves go. The blue hue of the Vibranium that illuminates the cavern is unlike anything she's ever seen. It's strange to think that the light isn't light at all, merely deposits of the most valuable metal on Earth, and that she's standing right in the centre of all of it.

"Man, this place looks awesome." She murmurs, taken aback in awe as she turns in circles on the track, looking around at each and every corner of the dazzling cave. Sure, she's seen it from the lab before, it's a whole other experience being right in the middle of it all.

"Focus, white girl!"

Shuri's pragmatic and level voice sounds loudly through the comms link plugged into her ear, startling Harper out of her trance. She scoffs, glancing up at the glass exposing the cave to the lab, catching a glance of Shuri stood by her monitor.

"You know, out of all the nicknames I've had, that's got to be the most literal one." Harper remarks, "And relax, okay? I got this."

She gets to work, consciously aware that her time is limited and decreasing by the second. She reaches the first damaged stabilizer, pulling the panel away with her bare hands to expose the internal wiring. It's intricate and complex, which she should've expected given the fact that Shuri designed it, and she quickly concludes that she can't just rip the old battery out and put the new one in despite having the capability to do so. She's gonna have to use the tools.

"You've got two minutes."

Shuri speaks up again just as she closes up the first stabilizer, the new battery intact and functional. She pauses, focusing her senses for a moment, because something in her gut tells her that Shuri's wrong.

"Try one." She corrects, crossing the track to the other side, "I can hear it."

The train's too loud to be two minutes away. It's too close.

"Okay, just-." Shuri says, pausing for a moment to decide the best cause of action, "Just leave the other one for now, okay?"

Harper scoffs, removing the panel of the second stabilizer, "Would you relax? I've got plenty of time."

That's a lie. She hasn't got plenty of time. Far from it. However, she said that she'd fix the stabilizers, and that's exactly what she's gonna do. She's not useless. She can do this. It's not that complicated.

She hears it before she sees it, turning towards the noise as a small white light appears further down the track. It's small but bright, and something about it catches her eye.

She steps out into the middle of the track before she realizes it, the second stabilizer only missing its panel before its completion, though she finds that she's no longer concerned with the stabilizer.

"What are you doing?"

She hears Shuri's question but she ignores it, eyes drawn to the sight of the train getting closer and closer. It's fast - it's so goddamn fast. They tried to make her faster ages ago. It didn't work. She remembers the tests. God they were awful. Nothing compared to The Raft though. Those were horrifying.

So much pain. So much suffering. God, it'd be so easy for it all to just stop.

"Harper! Move!"

Shuri only sees the train shoot down the track, though she doesn't see Harper move before it reaches her, and despite all of her usual composure and calmness, that goes out of the window as the train rolls down the track.

"Get Captain Rogers and his friends immediately!" Shuri yells, frantically turning towards one of the guards, who rushes off to fulfil her request without hesitation.

The guard only just about makes it out of the lab when she reappears in the room, hair wind-swept and eyes frantic and...

Excited. She looks excited.

"Woo!" Harper cheers, almost mockingly, as she paces back towards the window, pointing at the Maglev Train as it disappears further into the cave, "Now that...that was awesome!"

Harper seems unperturbed; she's more comparable to a giddy and senseless child than someone who almost got run over by a train. It's a direct contrast to Shuri, who is quick to act once she gets over her initial shock and terror.

"What in the world is wrong with you?! You could have died!" Shuri yells angrily, shoving Harper's shoulder with enough force that the younger girl staggers back, though she doesn't seem remotely fazed by the older girl's distress.

Harper scoffs, rolling her eyes as she moves away from Shuri to the monitors, "I wouldn't have! I can't even die when I'm supposed to!"

Shuri furrows her brow amid her anger, puzzled by the younger girl's statement. She would ask, but she's smart enough to know that she probably won't get an honest answer.

"You knew the train was coming! Why didn't you move?" Shuri questions, aghast, "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"I fixed the stabilizers." Harper responds casually, shrugging, "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Shuri narrows her eyes. She doesn't get it. The girl almost got hit by a train and she almost seems proud of the fact. She knew it was coming but she chose not to move. Even if it didn't kill her, getting hit by that train would've severely hurt her. Why is she proud of that?

"Shuri!"

Shuri turns around as her brother runs into the lab, Captain Rogers there to accompany him. Both look just as confused as her, and she notices the way that Captain Rogers eyes go straight towards Harper, clearly mentally assessing her for any immediate signs of injury. He seems baffled and relieved when he doesn't find any.

"What's wrong? What happened?" T'Challa questions, turning to his sister.

"Ask her." Shuri responds bluntly, nodding to Harper with contained rage, because she can't understand how the younger girl is so calm right now. She was almost hit by a train and that doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest. She almost _let_ herself get hit by a train.

Steve furrows his brow, confused and concerned, as he turns towards her, "Harper?"

She glances at him, concealing a groan when she sees the concern on his face. That's all she sees on any of them. Just concern and worry and it's clear that they're all treading on eggshells around her constantly. It's infuriating.

The anger and shock on Shuri's face is palpable, and a quick glance at T'Challa only makes her want to do one thing.

Run and hide.

"Nothing happened." She says, tone blunt and cold, reaching for the tool belt attached to her waist and removing it, slamming it down onto the desk on her way out of the room. "You're welcome, by the way."

* * *

"Shuri told me what happened."

The punching bag finally comes loose from the hinge as Harper strikes it again, joining the growing pile at the side of the room. She's been in the gym for over an hour now. The facilities here are pretty good, and she hasn't really utilized the gym much since arriving in the hidden nation. She hasn't really wanted to.

But she needed a distraction, especially considering that her other option went bust. So she's been attacking bag after bag, and even with super strength she can feel the pain beginning to set in on her bruised fists, but she doesn't want to stop. She can't stop. Stopping only makes things worse.

She's not surprised that Steve's here - what surprises her is that he didn't turn up sooner.

"That I fixed the stabilizers?" She questions, tiredly walking over to the side of the room to collect her next punching bag. "It really wasn't that hard. A monkey could probably do it with enough training." She remarks, hooking the bag onto the hook and beginning to strike it again.

She still hasn't looked at him. She doesn't want to. She doesn't want to see the almost certain disappointment and concern on his face. It'll only make her feel worse.

"The other thing that happened."

She stops striking the bag, right fist pressed tightly into its surface; perhaps she should've seen it coming. It was inevitable that Shuri was gonna tell him. She'd be more surprised if she hadn't.

"Why did you stand in front of that train?" Steve asks, crossing the room to stand opposite her, and she shrinks under his concerned gaze.

And this is why she didn't want to look at him. This is why she chooses to run away and push everyone away. She doesn't want to drag them down with her.

"Does it matter?" She questions bluntly, moving away from the bag to grab her water bottle, because stopping to talk to Steve has made her realize just how dehydrated she is.

"Of course it does." Steve says, crossing the room to stand beside her, concern unwavering, "What were you thinking?

Harper scoffs, turning towards him sharply, "I don't know, Steve. Do I have to know?"

That's the misconception. People think that she knows everything, but the truth is that she doesn't know shit. She can pretend that she does, she can act like she knows far more than anyone else does, but truthfully, she doesn't know a thing. At least not about herself.

"When you could've died? Yes."

"I wouldn't have died." Harper scoffs, though Steve doesn't seem happy with her answer. She can tell from his face.

He thinks that talking will fix it. They all do. And maybe it would if she knew exactly what needed fixing. That's just the problem. She doesn't know anything about herself anymore.

"Why does Shuri even care?!" She questions defensively, "I'm clearly messed up, and I'm not even her problem to fix!"

She doesn't get why Shuri bothers. She hardly knows her. She doesn't have any obligation to look out for her like the others. She doesn't need to get wrapped up in her self-imploding mess.

Steve shakes his head, tone softening, "No one said you were messed up, Harper."

She knows Steve means well - he's Steve goddamn Rogers, of course he does - but the sympathy, the concern, though it's meant in a good way, it's only reinforcing the idea that Harper already has of herself. She's messed up. She needs to be fixed. She's the problem that they're all being forced to deal with.

It's not Steve's fault, nor is it Shuri's fault. It's on none of them, but despite that, it makes her mad. It makes her so mad that she could scream, and she constantly feels like her head's gonna explode, and...

"I can't even control my own fucking head, Steve! I thought you all knew that by now! Aren't you all monitoring me like I'm some kind of mental patient?!"

She snaps, the harsh tone of her voice seemingly startling Steve, and ordinarily she'd feel bad about that, but she's angry and she's never herself when she's angry. She never has control anymore.

"That's not what this is, Harper."

"Really?! What is it then?!" She questions, snapping, "Tell me, Steve! Tell me what the fuck is going on, because I don't know anymore!"

That's the problem. She's not in control. She doesn't understand anything. That's what making her angry. It has to be.

She doesn't fully know why she stood in front of the train, and that's only making her angrier. She can theorize and assume, but she doesn't truly know why she did it, nor does she know why she moved out of the way at the last second.

She doesn't know anything anymore.

"We're worried about you. Shuri's been asking about you. She wants to know if you're okay." Steve reasons sincerely, and Harper scoffs again, turning away from him with an exasperated groan.

"Tell her I'm fine! Fucking incredible, actually!" She yells sarcastically, turning back to him with pure anguish in her eyes, "I mean, if you minus the fact I can't sleep without being fucking drugged and I don't know what the fuck is going on with my mind and I can't stop thinking about what I fucking did!"

She only realizes after the fact what she said, and the confused expression on Steve's face says it all.

"What you did?" He murmurs, puzzled, tone softening again as he says, "Harper, you didn't do anything. Nothing that happened was your fault."

She keeps hearing that same mantra over and over and over again. They keep telling her that none of it's her fault, but what they don't understand is that some of it is. What she did...what she did is unforgivable. What she did was wrong and she let it happen. She's supposed to be a goddamn Avenger - one of Earth's mightiest heroes - and she let that happen.

She's a monster, and none of them understand that.

"You don't get it! None of you get it!"

"What don't we get, Harper?"

She stills, turning towards the door when she hears a second voice, and if she wasn't already angry before, she sure is when she sees Wanda walking into the room, clearly having heard their conversation from outside.

It only confirms the theory she had. They've all been watching her since they arrived in Wakanda, but she's kept her mouth shut so far because she never had concrete proof that they were being so goddamn overbearing.

She has that proof now, and instead of feeling happy of that fact, all she feels is pure rage.

"Of fucking course! Let me guess, the others are out there too?!" She yells, sights set on Wanda, and the older girl flinches at the harshness of her voice, "You know, if you guys think I'm fucked up, I'd rather you just came out and said it!"

They monitor her like she's some kind of mental patient. They must think that it's the right thing to do - that by monitoring her they're protecting her or whatever. Maybe they mean well, but right now, Harper can't bring herself to see it that way.

"We don't-."

Harper scoffs, pushing past her on her way to the door, because right now she wants to be as far away from all of them as possible. "Please spare me the bullshit, Wanda. I'm sick and tired of it."

She's not interested in hearing what they've got to say right now. She doesn't want to listen to them as they try to justify monitoring every part of her life. She knows they're concerned, but this isn't the right way to go about it.

"Where are you going?"

Harper shrugs, stopping at the door, tone laced with sarcasm, "I don't know. New York. Paris. Tokyo. Not really sure what I'm feeling."

"Harper-."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll stay away from trains." She quips harshly, turning back towards Steve and Wanda, noticing the confusion on the latter's face, "Oh, so he hasn't filled you in yet? That's surprising. Don't worry. I'm sure he'll tell you."

"Harper-."

Steve keeps trying, and Harper's having none of it. She doesn't want to hear his excuses.

"You gonna shoot me with a paralytic dart or something? Or are you guys just sticking to the stuff that knocks me out?" She questions harshly, scoffing when she doesn't get a response, "I don't even know why I'm asking. It's not like I get a choice."

She doesn't get a choice about anything anymore. She can't control anything anymore.

She doesn't get many choices, so when she gets the chance to make one, she's gonna take it. That's why she leaves the room, ignoring the concerned and lost expressions on both their faces.

She can't fix what she doesn't know and she can't control. No one can.

* * *

"You know you've been walking in circles for the last twenty minutes, right?"

Harper pauses right by the staircase, though admittedly she doesn't entirely know why. She's not exactly in the mood to talk to anyone right now. She's been walking around the palace, though that's mostly because she still doesn't know her way around the city, and for the fact that she doesn't want to go back to the suite. She doesn't want to see Steve or Wanda right now. She doesn't want to see any of them right now, because she's certain that the Steve and Wanda have filled the others in by now. They probably ran to do it right after she left.

So she's been walking. She's been moving non-stop, because she knows that stopping is what's gonna get her killed. She can't stop otherwise it's all gonna catch up to her, and she can't let that happen because she doesn't understand it, and she can't stop what she doesn't understand. She has to try and stick to what she knows, even if that's barely working as it is.

She thought that she knew her way around the palace, and it took her a while to realize that she doesn't because everything looks the same to her, but as Shuri points it out, she realizes that yes, she has been walking in circles for the last twenty minutes.

What frustrates her is that Shuri realized it too.

"You monitoring me to now?" She questions, turning towards the older girl angrily.

"No. I can think of over one hundred things that would be a better use of my time. As long as your Kimoyo beads are on, I can access your location. I noticed it kept going back to the same point." Shuri responds casually.

Harper pauses and listens to her heartbeat. No change. She's telling the truth.

Her hand moves to cover the beads briefly (as if that'll have any effect), and Shuri notices, quirking an eyebrow.

"Did you even read the instruction manual I sent you?"

Harper shrugs, murmuring, "I didn't think you were actually being serious about that, so..."

When Shuri sent the manual digitally, she didn't think that she actually expected her to read it. She's supposed to a genius. She reckons she can use a bit of tech without the need for an instruction manual.

Apparently not.

"Read it. It'll tell you how to deactivate the tracker, which I'm certain you'll want to do before Captain Rogers and the others hear about it." Shuri explains, and Harper stills again, this time out of confusion.

She doesn't even understand why Shuri's talking to her, and with so much composure too. The last time she checked, the princess was pissed off with her for moving in front of that goddamn train. Even then, that's not the only thing that confuses her. Shuri understands, or at least she seems to be aware of, the fact that she's pissed off with the others, and she seemingly seems to understand the reason why.

Either that or she's a very good guesser.

Shuri smirks, remaking, "For the most part, you're actually incredibly predictable. That is until you jumped in front of a train."

Ah. There it is.

"Here we go." Harper mumbles, sighing exasperatedly, "Look, Shuri, if you're gonna ask a million questions, I really don-."

"Calm down, white girl. I'm only gonna ask one." Shuri responds hastily and bluntly, contradicting all the thoughts that had begun to form in Harper's head.

"One?"

She was waiting for Shuri to do exactly what the others do. Express concern, ask about what happened and why it did, offer help even though she doesn't understand. The usual routine.

The fact that Shuri contradicts that throws Harper completely off her axis.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What?"

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Shuri says simply, startling Harper again.

People don't ask her if she wants to talk about stuff often, and even when they do, they still find a way to talk about it when she says 'no'. She doesn't understand why they ask if they're just gonna make the choice themselves. She doesn't see the point in it - but then again she doesn't see the point in anything anymore.

"No." She replies.

She doesn't want to talk about it. Talking doesn't change anything, and she's sick of people pretending that it does. Nothing changes anything. That's the problem.

"Okay then." Shuri responds, nodding, casting a glance out of the nearby window, a small grin forming on her face. "You want to see something cool?" She asks turning back to Harper, still grinning.

"I thought you only said one question."

"I'm taking that as a 'yes'." Shuri quips back, heading for a nearby door and beckoning Harper over, "Follow me."

Harper knows she has a choice here. She doesn't have to follow Shuri. She can keep wandering around the palace for the next few hours alone. No one can stop her, and even if they try she can just teleport away. There's nothing stopping her from just sticking to what she's doing. It would probably be the most logical move.

But part of her also wants to follow Shuri. Maybe it's because she's (for some reason) not pissed off with her for what happened, or maybe it's because she respected the fact that she doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't really know.

Still, she chooses to follow the older girl, and she notices the smile that comes to Shuri's face when she notices her trailing behind.

They end up leaving the palace, and for a second Harper hesitates because she hasn't really left much since they all arrived in Wakanda, at least not since she ran out of the lab the first time she woke up. She ultimately continues to follow Shuri, mostly because she's curious about where they're going, and they're walking for quite some time until she finds out.

They walk into what appears to be a village on the outskirts of the city, and she doesn't fail to notice the looks she gets from some of the people in the village. It's clear that she's the outsider from the get-go.

The fact that some of them are also holding spears doesn't make her feel much better.

"Relax, America." Shuri comments, glancing back at her with a smirk, "They all know that you'd win if you got into a fight."

Maybe that's true. It still doesn't make the fact that they're holding spears any more comfortable.

She picks up the pace ever so slightly, walking slightly closer to Shuri than before as they continue to walk through the village, stopping when they see a familiar face.

"Shuri." Okoye says, stopping in front of the princess with a respectful nod. Casting a brief glance in Harper's direction, she questions suspiciously, "Does the King know you're here?"

Yeah...Harper has the feeling that Okoye's still not her biggest fan.

"Relax, Okoye. You worry too much." Shuri responds, smirking playfully, "Brother won't mind me showing our guest some of our culture. With your supervision, of course."

Okoye doesn't seem convinced, but the guard doesn't argue with the princess. She begins to turn away, spear gripped tightly in her hand as she casts another glance in Harper's direction, and then she turns and begins to head further into the village. Shuri trails behind her so Harper copies, the two girls lagging a few steps behind the guard.

"I don't think she likes me." Harper murmurs cautiously, and Shuri smirks again.

"She'll forgive you for punching her in the face. Eventually."

Harper doesn't exactly believe her, but there's no use in saying that.

"What did you mean when you said your culture?" Harper questions curiously, "Where are we going?"

"Patience, white girl." Shuri quips, "We're almost there."

Harper listens despite the fact that her curiosity wants her to keep asking questions, slipping back into silence as the two girls continue to follow Okoye through the village. They reach the outskirts soon enough, and Harper sees what's waiting for them at their destination when they're not too far away, her interested peaked.

It's a White Rhino. Multiple, in fact, roaming around within a large outdoor enclosure with their shuddering footsteps shaking the ground beneath them, and for a moment Harper's in awe at the sight of them.

"A White Rhinoceros?" She questions, glancing over at Shuri, surprised, as they reach the enclosure alongside Okoye, "I've never seen one in person before."

You'd think that she would've seen one, especially given all of the other things she's seen in her short life. Killing androids - check. Gods - check. Assassins and super spies - check and check. White Rhinoceros - now, check.

"You don't get White Rhinos in New York?" Shuri jokes.

"We don't get White Rhinos in America." Harper remarks, moving up to the edge of the enclosure to get a closer look. She watches as the animals move around their enclosure calmly, clearly at peace with each other and their surroundings.

Everything looks relatively normal, but then she notices what's on the rhinos backs and she falters.

"What's with the saddles?" She asks, turning back to Shuri and Okoye, and the former looks over at the latter expectantly, who nods back in response.

Okoye steps forward, opening the gate leading into the rhino enclosure, abandoning her spear at the entrance. Harper steps back, eyes going wide as she watches the guard approach one of the rhinos, unabashed.

"W-what is she doing?" She questions, eyes darting between Okoye and Shuri's calm face, and she rushes towards the gate again when Okoye comes right up to the side of one of the rhinos, "Hey, uh, be careful! I think that rhinos can be-!"

Now, she's no expert on Rhinos, but she's fairly certain that you're not just supposed to approach them like that. They're supposed to be wild animals after all...

Except, these rhinos seem to be more tame than others of their species; Harper watches in both shock and awe as Okoye climbs onto the rhino's back, mounting the animal like one would a horse.

"No way!" She gasps, awestruck as Okoye rides around the enclosure atop the rhino, completely comfortable with what she's doing.

"I bet you didn't see that coming." Shuri remarks, smirking, and Harper shakes her head. "Okoye is a part of the Border Tribe. They raise and nurture the rhinoceros to help us in combat."

"Combat?" Harper questions, eyebrow quirked.

"Not all of us have superpowers, America." Shuri quips back, smirking.

"America, huh? Is that the new one now?" Harper questions.

Shuri sure does have some creative nicknames for her, she'll say that. Harper's starting to think that the princess must have a whole list of them lined up or something.

Okoye comes back over to the two of them, gracefully jumping down from the majestic animal's back as she reaches them, turning to Shuri as she climbs over the gate.

"Ngaba undwendwe lwethu lungathanda ukuzama?"

Harper knows the guard is speaking in Xhosa. She knows the language - well, she knows very small bits of it - but she's certain that she doesn't know what Okoye's saying.

Shuri laughs, which only confuses Harper even more.

"Ihlekisa kakhulu, Okoye. Ihlekisa kakhulu." Shuri responds, and Okoye smirks, nodding respectfully to the princess before walking away.

"W-what did she say exactly?" Harper questions apprehensively, turning to Shuri after Okoye leaves, "I mean, I know the language, but I don't know it well, and I know you said something along the lines of it being funny, so..."

"She wants to see you have a go." Shuri responds, smirk still there.

Harper shrugs, "Oh, that's nice of her."

"She knows you'll fall off if you try."

Ah. Now it makes sense.

"And there's the catch."

She figures it's better than her using the spear against her, so she'll take it.

"Why are you being so nice to me after I was a total asshole?"

It's a simple question, but it's been on her mind since Shuri first spoke to her back in the palace. She doesn't understand why she's not pissed off at her. She doesn't understand why she'd want to show her this - something that's important to her country and its culture - after what happened in the lab. It doesn't make any sense.

She's aware that she hasn't exactly been the greatest person to be around recently. There's no denying that. In the moment she can't really help the way she gets angry, nor can she help the constant urge she has to just run and hide from everything and everyone. She can't ignore the fact that she wants everything to stop, and even when she feels like she might be happy, like actually happy, for the briefest moment, those feelings are still there. They're always there.

It's affecting how she's treating the others, and she knows that, which is why she doesn't understand why Shuri's being so kind to her. Why she hasn't given up yet, especially since she's under no obligation to care or to try.

"You weren't a total asshole." Shuri responds honestly, shrugging, "Besides, I could do with a friend."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "You're a Princess and you're telling me that you don't have friends?"

"Does being a superhero get you a lot of friends?" Shuri questions back, and Harper falters. She's got her there. "Thought so." She murmurs triumphantly.

"About earlier, I-...I don't know what I was thinking. I _never_ know what I'm thinking anymore. That's sorta the problem." Harper murmurs, sighing, "I didn't mean to worry you, I just...I don't know-."

She feels like she needs to try and justify herself, especially considering that Shuri's ignoring the fact that she's been acting the way she has. She probably needs to justify herself to everyone, but she hasn't got the energy to think about that right now.

Besides, she can't really justify herself when she doesn't understand what's going on. She doesn't really know what she was trying to do. Maybe part of her wanted to get hit by the train, and maybe part of her didn't. Maybe part of her wasn't even thinking, and maybe another part of her was thinking and there was a reason she did it. She just doesn't know.

And, surprisingly, Shuri seems to understand that.

"Let's make a deal."

"A deal?" Harper questions, puzzled.

Shuri nods, "You work in my lab with me and help me with my projects which, by the way, is a huge privilege if you weren't already aware, and in return-."

"I talk about this stuff?"

She presumes that to be the answer. She figures it has to be. An eye for an eye kind of arrangement.

"I was gonna say you always provide the snacks, but that works too." Shuri quips, shrugging.

As it turns out, that's not the case.

"Deal." Harper agrees, nodding. "I'll bring orange slices." She adds, and Shuri quirks an eyebrow again.

"Orange slices?"

"Ask Scott about it." Harper responds, and then something odd happens.

She smiles. She actually smiles, and for a second it feels strange because she can't remember the last time she genuinely smiled, and Shuri seems to notice it too.

"I knew you could smile." She quips, grinning, "Took you long enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe everyone!


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit lighter than some of the others, but some of the usual triggers still apply. Please be careful guys!
> 
> The next chapter is gonna be a long one so it might not be out for a while, but until then, I hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoy! They really brighten up my day! Stay safe everyone!

She's screaming when she wakes up, and for the briefest of moments she's confused. Like completely and utterly confused, so much so that she forgets where she is. She doesn't realize that she's not in her actual room, that she not home, and when she feels someone's arm tighten around her, reaching out like an anchor in the dark, she latches onto them tightly, and the familiarity of the routine confuses her even more.

"It's okay, Harper. You're okay."

She stills, backing up and glancing up at the other person, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Steve?" She questions shakily, looking around the dark room frantically, "W-where's Nat? Why isn't she...?"

That's when it hits her. That's when it all comes rushing back to her. The Accords, The Raft, the fact that Nat...

They're in Wakanda. Steve's suite is right next door to hers. It must be how he heard her. She hopes that no one else did.

She's surprised she even had a nightmare. She would've thought that the drugs would've been enough to knock her out cold. They sure do work fast enough to make her think that. That's why someone else always has to help her administer them. Usually it's Steve or Wanda, but she had Sam do it last night. She's still pissed off with the others.

She knows that Steve's aware of that. She can tell by the cautious expression on his face, but she can also see the overwhelming concern too, especially when he notices her realization.

"Harper-."

She backs up, stumbling out of the bed and pacing to the side of the room, focusing her attention on the darkness outside her bedroom window. Steve's still sat on the edge of the bed, clearly wanting to say something but perhaps unsure of what he should say, but Harper knows that there's nothing he could say that would help.

She doesn't know how she forgot. It was a slip-up that she shouldn't have made. It's almost funny, because most of the time she can't forget everything despite how hard she tries to. Some days she wakes up and wishes that she could forget. That she could forget about The Raft and The Accords and Nat. That things could go back to how they were. Back to when they were free and happy and she wasn't always afraid and she didn't want to constantly push everyone away.

But they can't. Things can't go back. They're not free, and though she has good moments, she never feels truly happy, and she has a constant fear that they'll be sent back to The Raft and she won't be able to protect Wanda again, not that she did an amazing job the first time around. Most of all, she can't stop the feeling, no, the _need_ to push everyone away, because she knows that she's bad for them. She can be pissed off at them and try to blame them all for everything, but at the end of the day that's just not the truth.

She's the problem.

"I'm fine. Get out."

She's being blunt. She knows that. She's trying to push him away for multiple reasons, and she knows that it's Steve goddamn Rogers so that's gonna be easier said than done, but she's trying.

"Harper, come on-."

"Get out Steve!"

She snaps this time, hoping that it'll be enough to get rid of him. She knows that he hesitates, stilling for just a moment, but she knows that he's moving again when the floor creaks beneath his weight.

"Harper, it-."

The thing with Steve is that he doesn't understand the meaning of the saying 'don't poke the bear'. It's not because he chooses to ignore it, and she knows that, but it doesn't stop her from being frustrated when he won't leave.

"I don't want to talk about it, Steve! There's nothing to talk about! Just get out!" She screams, and she snaps her eyes shut for a moment because she can feel the frustrated tears building up in them, and she thinks putting up a cold front will force them away.

But then she feels Steve place a hand on her shoulder, a reassuring one like he's done so many times before, and it makes her falter for a moment.

"I-I'm fine! I'm...I'm..." She fumbles, the grip on her shoulder grounding her for long enough for everything to set in, and she knows that he realizes that too.

"Harper."

No. She's not doing this. She doesn't deserve sympathy or help. She doesn't need to drag the rest of them into her mess.

"I'm going on a walk."

So she pushes him away. She shakes him off and stalks out of the room, surprised when he doesn't try to follow her but relieved nonetheless. She keeps herself together for only a short time before she falls apart, but there's no one around to see her so she doesn't care.

* * *

She walks back into the suite a few hours later, and she's honestly surprised that no one came after when the sun began to rise. She figured that Steve would've, and if not Wanda surely would've once she realized she was gone. It's better that they didn't, but it's strange. She's not used to them giving her space after everything's that happened.

It's breakfast time by the time she gets back, so she was expecting to see at least Scott in the kitchen, likely trying to inconspicuously steal some of her Fruity Pebbles when no one's looking (well, when he thinks no one's looking at least). She does see Scott, admittedly not going for her Fruity Pebbles but still in his usual spot in the kitchen, but the others are all there too. They turn towards her when she steps into the room, along with two guests that Harper wasn't expecting to see so early in the morning.

"Shuri?" She questions confusedly, looking over at her friend with a perplexed expression, "I thought we weren't working in the lab till this afternoon."

She's been working alongside Shuri a lot in the lab recently just like they agreed, but they never usually start this early in the morning. Even their minds aren't fully operational early in the morning.

"We aren't. That's not why I'm here." Shuri responds, turning to talk to the others at the same time, "Brother would like to take you all on a personal tour around the city."

That explains why T'Challa's here too. She's surprised that he's giving them a tour now considering they've been here for a couple of weeks, but Scott seems beyond excited by the idea.

"That's awesome!" He exclaims, eyes wide like a small child in a candy store as he looks around at the others excitedly, "We're gonna get a tour from a Lord, guys!"

"King, Tic Tac." Sam corrects, "He's a King."

"Yet again, you were close." T'Challa responds with a humble laugh, correcting himself before glancing around at them all, speaking in a formal tone, "I apologize that I couldn't offer you a tour sooner. I've been working with my correspondents on a deal for Mr Barton and Mr Lang."

"Any updates?" Clint asks, leaning forward in his seat, and there's an eagerness to his tone that Harper hasn't heard from him before.

"Not yet, but my correspondents are confident we'll find something." T'Challa responds optimistically, and Harper doesn't miss the disappointment that crosses both Clint and Scott's faces as he says that. The monarch seems to notice too, his expression briefly turning apologetic before he swiftly and politely changes the subject, "Until then, I felt it was important to offer you a tour of the Golden City. I understand that being confined to the palace all the time can become..."

"Mind-numbingly boring." Shuri remarks sassily, shrugging when her brother shoots a warning look at her, "What? I'm just stating a fact!"

Harper hears someone try and suppress a laugh from across the room. She thinks it's Sam, but she avoids making eye contact. She's just waiting for this exchange to be over so she can go back to her room for the day and ignore everything and everyone. That sounds ideal right now.

"I'd be delighted if you could all attend. It would be my honor to show you around our city."

Harper doesn't look, but she hears the others react, most of them murmuring polite acceptances to the monarch's offer. Even Scott keeps his composure and offers a polite and formal response.

"Thank you, T'Challa." Steve says, nodding respectfully to the monarch, and Harper takes this as her time to get out of here.

As polite as the offer is, Harper's not interested in going on a tour. Going on a tour means she'll have to be around the others and that's not exactly where she wants to be right now, and if she's being perfectly honest, she's already seen her fair share of the city when she took off into it her first day here.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna stay here." She murmurs without looking back, and she's conscious of the others looking in her direction as she makes her way towards her bedroom door.

Just as she's conscious of the small, insignificant object that's rushing towards her from behind, and she turns and catches it sharply simply out of reflex, fist clenched directly in front of her face with the small projectile inside as all eyes in the room fall on Shuri.

The teenage technological genius is smirking over at her, completely unfazed by the horrified look on her brothers face.

"Shuri!"

"Not too tired, apparently." She remarks, eyebrow quirked, as Harper lowers her fist, glancing down at the projectile inside as T'Challa begins to apologize profusely.

"I apologize for my sister's-."

"You listened to my idea about Vibranium projectiles?" Harper questions, glancing over at Shuri with a surprised expression.

She made the suggestion the other day. Even pulled out some loose schematics she had been working on during her spare time. Shuri seemed surprised by the suggestion, which Harper took as some backwards form of rejection, but of course she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure. Turns out she was wrong.

"And I used your schematics." Shuri adds, "You're lucky I only threw it otherwise there would be a hole in your hand right now."

Harper glances back down at the projectile, and she knows that Shuri's probably right. The design isn't perfect, far from it actually, but it would definitely cause some permanent damage if fired with enough force.

"You designed that?" Sam asks, gesturing to the projectile, glancing between the two girls with interest.

"She did." Shuri confirms, smiling, "Her brain isn't bad when she actually uses it."

Shuri tries to crack a joke, and for a brief second Harper thinks that she might actually laugh. The second is only brief though, and as she looks at the projectile, she instantly notices its flaws, holding it up for Shuri to see.

"We need to streamline this. If I can catch it, it's too slow." She explains, gesturing to the small object, and Shuri surprises her by responding not verbally, but by throwing another projectile at her when she least expects it.

This one strikes her in the face before sliding down to the ground, clanging against the tiles as Harper groans.

"Shuri!"

Shuri quirks an eyebrow, playfully smirking, "Didn't catch that one, did you?"

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Harper questions, surprised when a smile actually forms on her tired face, and she's not the only one.

Steve fully does a double take, and Wanda swears that she must be seeing things.

"There we go! Smile number two!" Shuri practically cheers, glancing over at her brother with a grin, "I told you that she smiles, brother."

A couple of seconds go by, and by then she's aware of the fact that everyone's eyes are on her, most of them shocked, and the smile soon falls from her face when she notices them all looking at her. She clears her throat, gesturing to the projectile again as she looks over at Shuri, "We still need to streamline these."

She expects Shuri to crack a joke about her smile disappearing, though she's grateful when she doesn't.

"We'll work on it after the tour. And _only_ after." Shuri responds, eyebrow quirked, "You got that, America?"

Harper hears the others mumble in confusion at Shuri's use of the nickname, though at this point she's used to it. Shuri rarely calls her by her actual name at this point.

"You promise?"

"You'd know if I was lying."

Shuri, as per usual, is right (though she'd never admit that to her). She could easily listen to her heartbeat to confirm whether or not she's telling the truth but she doesn't bother. She believes her, and she knows that Shuri won't let her anywhere near the lab if she doesn't agree to this.

"Fine." She grumbles, a grin breaking out across Shuri's face as she gives in, "I thought we were friends."

"You'll thank me for this later." Shuri says, walking over to her and accepting the projectile as Harper passes it back to her, "We're gonna skip brother's boring part of the tour and get right to the cool stuff."

Harper would be lying if she said her interest isn't piqued by Shuri's statement. She's seen the city and it looks cool and all, but then again you'd expect that given it's in the most technologically advanced nation on Earth, but she's interested to know what Shuri exactly wants to show her.

"What was that, Shuri?" T'Challa calls over suspiciously, eyebrow quirked at his younger sister.

"Nothing, brother!" Shuri calls back to him, trying and failing to hide her grin when she sees her brother's deadpan expression.

Even Harper has to admit that it's kinda funny.

"But first, you need to get dressed." Shuri decides, turning back to Harper and gesturing to her current outfit, "I'm not letting you go out looking like this."

"Why not?" Harper questions, glancing down at her attire.

Sure, she's not wearing the most stylish outfit in the world, but as far as pjs go they could be worse. Besides, they're comfy, and she's gone out looking far worse in the past.

"It hurts me that you even have to ask." Shuri sighs, reaching out and gripping onto Harper's shoulders to spin her towards her bedroom door, "Let's go, America. We're wasting time."

The others hear Harper groaning exasperatedly as Shuri pushes her out of the room, the older girl insisting that the younger can't go out in public looking like she just crawled out of bed (which is true but none of them had the courage to say it). The door closes behind the two teenagers moments later, and as soon as they're gone, Steve and Co find themselves looking around at one another, all of them on the exact same train of thought.

"You guys see that too or am I just seeing things?" Clint questions, glancing around at the others, their perplexed and stunned expressions matching his own.

"Did she smile?" Scott asks, "I don't think I've ever seen her do that."

She did, in fact, smile. Twice actually. Steve can't even remember the last time he saw Harper smile, and Wanda's certain that the small number of times she's caught the younger girl smiling these last few months haven't been genuine.

"Shuri loves having Harper work with her in the lab." T'Challa explains, "She says she likes having someone around that provides an intellectual challenge."

Sam scoffs, "So she called the rest of us stupid?"

T'Challa chuckles, moving the topic of conversation along, "The two of them have already managed to refine the system we used to transport Vibranium."

"They have?" Steve asks, stunned.

They all know Harper's been spending more time with Shuri - it's how she's been avoiding all of them - but she hasn't exactly told them what she's been doing with her time. Refining a transport system wouldn't have been any of their first guesses.

"Shuri said she was stuck on the final calculations for quite some time before Harper took a look at them." T'Challa explains, pausing when he notices the continued surprised expressions on their faces, "I am surprised Harper hasn't told any of you about her work. Shuri's told me that she's been quite proud of it all."

Steve feels a sharp pang in his chest, and he knows that at least Wanda feels it too because he notices the shift in her body language as she sits beside him. From the way that T'Challa's talking about all of this, it's clear that Harper's invested into all of this work she's been doing. On the one hand, that's amazing, because she's honestly been a shell of herself since everything that happened (and understandably so), and the girl that T'Challa's describing sounds like the girl that was around before the Accords and The Raft and all of the mess that came with both.

However, Harper used to love nothing more than sharing all of the projects she's working on with the rest of them. She would always talk about them at the dinner table or during movie nights, or even on the way to missions sometimes, and it hurts that she's drawn so far away from them all that she doesn't want to talk about her projects like she used to. It hurts that she doesn't want to talk to them about anything anymore.

"The kid's not exactly our biggest fan right now." Clint admits gruffly, reclining back into his seat, "She's not exactly in a great place."

That's putting it lightly.

"If you'd like, I can consult with our medical team about what may be best for Harper moving forward. Our resident psychiatrist is more than qualified."

"And there's the match going right into the powder keg."

Steve's expressed his gratitude to the monarch several times since their arrival in his nation. He's offered them sanctuary and protection, and he's investing time and technology into helping Bucky when he has no obligation to, so the super soldier feels as if he owes T'Challa more than anyone can pay. Again, he's trying to help when he has no obligation to, and whilst a lot of the resources that T'Challa has offered them before have been more than helpful, Steve has to agree with Clint on this one.

Sending Harper to a shrink is potentially the worst move they could possibly make right now.

"Thank you, T'Challa, but we've already tried that route with Harper and-."

"And all we've managed to do is piss the kid off. Not our best idea considering she could kick our asses with her eyes closed." Clint interjects.

That wasn't exactly how Steve was gonna put it, but it's the general gist of it.

"Not all of us. Wanda could stop her." Sam says, gesturing to the girl in question, adding when she looks back at him in surprise, "You can move stuff with your mind, kid. You could kick our asses without even moving."

Wanda doesn't say anything, though they can all tell from her expression that she agrees. She overpowered Vision after all. Harper always used to say that Wanda could give Thor a run for his money if the two ever got into a fight.

"What about me?" Scott asks.

Sam's the first one who bursts into laughter, followed shortly afterwards by Clint. Wanda and Steve both remain tightlipped, the latter shooting warning looks at the two laughing men, but it goes unnoticed as the both of them look over at Scott's perturbed expression.

"You'd be the first one down, Tic Tac." Sam says in between fits of laughter, Clint nodding in agreement.

"No offense, Tic Tac, but it's true."

Scott groans exasperatedly, "Come on, man! I could put up a good fight!"

"She wouldn't hurt us." Wanda interjects, tone serious, before either Sam or Clint has the chance to mock Scott again, and all eyes fall on the former Sokovian as she looks around at them all, tone insistent, She could, but she wouldn't."

"Of course she wouldn't." Steve agrees, giving Wanda a reassuring smile. He can tell that Wanda needs it, and he knows that when she smiles back, she recognizes his support.

"But Sam's right." She muses, turning towards Scott, "You'd be the first one to go down."

"Come on!"

* * *

"I hate to admit it, but that museum was kinda cool." Harper admits, following Shuri back out into the crowded city, the warmth of the sun instantly striking her.

She's still trying to adjust to the new climate. It's a far cry from New York's, and it's even further from whatever the climate was on The Raft. Can you even class it as a climate since they were technically indoors the entire time? She doesn't really know.

Shuri grins, "I told you I'd show you the cool stuff, didn't I?"

Shuri's certainly followed through on her statement. The two of them split off from T'Challa and the others once they got into the city and no one protested their decision (though Harper hadn't expected any of them too), and Shuri's already shown her a bunch of areas throughout the city, all of which utilise Wakanda's advanced technology one way or another.

"Museums back home would be far more interesting if they used nano tech too."

"Is that really what you did back home?" Shuri questions, feigning an offended tone, "You were living in America, the country of Disneyland and Coachella, and you went to museums?"

"Okay, one: America is a lot more than just Disneyland and Coachella. And two: I've only been to a museum once before today, and I wouldn't exactly class that as a visit to a museum." Harper explains as they turn the corner onto the main street that runs through the city, politely moving past a group of pedestrians stood by a market stand.

"Why not?"

"I went to try and break up a hostage situation. I had just moved into the Tower and I had no clue how to use my powers, but I still managed to help somehow." Harper explains, thinking back to the Metropolitan Museum incident.

God, that feels like a lifetime ago. She'd do anything to go back to that time.

"Anyways, I thought I pulled it off under everyone's noses, but I got hurt and Mr Stark and Steve and Na...they all found out that I snuck out."

"What happened?" Shuri asks, intrigued.

"Mr Stark grounded me."

Technically speaking, she was already grounded before that. She swears she was grounded like 90% of the time during the first few months she spent with the team.

"I've never been grounded." Shuri admits, and Harper shrugs.

"You're a Princess, Shuri."

Who exactly has the authority to ground a Princess anyway?

"And you're a superhero who can fly and teleport." Shuri quips, "Technically speaking, you can't be grounded."

Harper pauses for a moment. She's never thought about it like that before. She physically can't be grounded.

"Ukukhanya! Ukukhanya!"

The two of them stop abruptly when a group of kids rush over to them. Harper looks down at them all - there's about five of them, all of them dressed similarly, and Harper guesses that none of them can be over the age of eight or nine. They all begin to crowd around her, looking up at her with excited eyes and restless feet, and Harper casts a confused and concerned glance over in Shuri's direction as they continue to shout.

"Shuri, what's going on?"

"Ukukhanya? Ukukhanya!"

They all keep repeating that same word over and over again, and Harper knows that it's in Xhosa. She's even fairly certain that she recognizes it.

"You know what that means?" Shuri questions, standing by Harper's side with a slight grin on her face as the kids continue to jump around excitedly.

"Light."

That's all it means. Light in Xhosa. It's simple enough, though Harper doesn't quite understand why they're saying it.

"They've heard stories." Shuri explains as the kids continue to chant, now jumping up and down excitedly as if they're waiting for something to happen.

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "Stories?"

"About the magical white girl who can fire light from her hands."

"It's not-." Harper says, stopping abruptly when Shuri jabs her sharply in the arm, wincing in pain and recoiling back slightly, "Ow!"

Shuri gives her a wide eyed look and nods towards the kids subtly. Harper glances down at them out of the corner of her eye, noticing the hopeful and still excited expressions on all of their faces as they continue to chant.

"Ukuhanya! Sibonise!"

"I-I don't know what that word means." Harper admits. She's never heard the second word before. She's been trying to pick up on some more Xhosa in her spare time - to try and give herself something else to distract herself with - but the second word is one she hasn't come across just yet.

Thankfully, she's got Shuri to fill in the blanks for her.

"They want to see the magic." Shuri explains with a smile, adding when she notices Harper's apprehensive expression, "They don't bite."

Harper glances between Shuri and the kids, skepticism plastered across her face, and it's only when Shuri nudges her forward that she properly reacts. She stops right in front of the kids, and her first response is to take the easy way out by teleporting away, because she doesn't really know what's happening right now, and she's not exactly in the headspace to deal with things that she doesn't understand. She hasn't been in that headspace for a long time.

But then she sees the hopeful and awestruck expression on the kids faces. They're looking at her like she's the coolest person in the world. Like she can topple mountains and make everything possible. Like she's more than the monster that she knows she is.

It fills her with a sense of purpose, and that sense remains as she passes the light between her hands, putting on a small show for the kids who continue to watch her in awe the entire time, even as the crowd of kids watching her grows to the point that even she can't count how many of them are watching.

She's so engrossed in what she's doing that she doesn't even notice when Steve and the others join the growing crowd, all of them stunned to see yet another genuine smile come across her face.


	15. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS: DRUG + SUICIDAL MENTIONS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS
> 
> This one's a long one guys, but I'm a big fan of it. We get to see someone we haven't seen in a while too!
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe everyone!

"You're up early." Shuri remarks, strolling into the lab, patting Harper on the shoulder as she passes her on her way to the coffee machine at the side of the room.

"Nightmare." Harper murmurs back, eyes remaining fixated on the monitors as Shuri pauses by the machine.

It wasn't a bad one, at least comparatively, and when she couldn't fall back asleep again, she figured she was better off doing something productive with her time. Besides, Shuri said that the lab was open to her whenever she needed it to be. It's a 'collaborative working environment'.

"Again?" Shuri questions, though she doesn't sound surprised.

Harper waits for the follow up question, confused when Shuri doesn't ask it. She turns towards the older girl, eyebrow quirked in confusion, "You not gonna ask about it?"

"Do you want me to?" Shuri asks rhetorically, because she already knows the answer. She remembers their agreement, and Harper appreciates that she always keeps to it.

With the others, she feels like she's struggling to keep her head above the water. She knows deep down that they aren't trying to make her feel like that, but they still do, and it's unbearable. Shuri doesn't make her feel like that. She gives her space and she doesn't push her, even when she's concerned and she wants answers.

"Coffee?"

Harper smiles slightly, accepting the warm beverage from her friend with a nod before turning back to the monitors, "Thanks, Shuri."

"What are you looking at exactly?" Shuri asks, taking a sip of her own drink as she turns to the monitors, "What's with the words? Do they mean something?"

She could just shut off right now. She could just close down the monitor and change the subject, because she knows that Shuri likely won't push her for an answer if she does.

"You know how Bucky was manipulated by HYDRA?"

She decides not to shut off this time. She doesn't know why. Maybe it's because she trusts Shuri, or maybe it's because she's always respected her boundaries, or maybe part of her wants to talk about this stuff for once. She doesn't really know what it is, but she talks about it.

Shuri nods understandingly, "That's why he wanted to go on ice. Sergeant Barnes was insistent that he couldn't control his own mind after what HYDRA did. I believe Captain Rogers tried to talk him out of his decision."

"Anyone can say his trigger words and they'll have full control of him. It's impossible to resist it. I've tried."

Shuri pauses for a moment to process what she's heard, and Harper can tell that she's trying to hide the concerned and overbearing expression that Harper's seen far too often on the others. Shuri knows how much she hates it now.

"I didn't know that they did the same to you."

Harper scoffs, turning back to the monitors as Shuri continues to watch her carefully, "I'm surprised Steve and the others didn't tell you. It's not like they ask before they make decisions for me anymore."

"You're still mad at them?"

"They drugged me and they've been treating me like I'm some kind of basket case! I have every right to be mad at them!"

Harper snaps at her, and with Shuri she instantly regrets it, because the older girl is the only person that hasn't been pushing her for answers. She's been patient and compensating and a friend that she's desperately needed, so when she raises her voice at her, she instantly stills and looks at her friend with a regretful expression.

Shuri just quirks an eyebrow at her, completely unfazed by her short outburst.

"Did I say you didn't?" She questions calmly, turning back to the monitors before Harper can respond, "Are these your triggers?"

Harper nods, moving past the outburst when Shuri seems to do the same, silently appreciative of the older girl's unperturbed response. Shuri doesn't have to put up with her bullshit, none of them do and none of them should have too, but she still does. Harper doesn't know what she'd do without Shuri.

"Can I ask why you're looking at them?"

It's a logical question.

"Because I'm trying to decide what my next move should be." Harper responds.

"I'm working on a way to deprogram the triggers for Sergeant Barnes. As soon as I find a solution, I can apply the same process for you. Given the similarity of your circumstances, the same solution should work for the both of you." Shuri explains, though Harper already knows all of that.

She knows why Bucky went on ice. She knows what Shuri's been working on, and she knows that similar options will be available to her when she finally cracks it. For a while, she was certain that Shuri's research was her best option.

However, she's been looking at the situation with a renewed perspective recently, and it's made her think that...

"You're not thinking about getting rid of them, are you?"

Ding, ding, ding. Shuri hits the nail directly on the head. She's only known her for a short amount of time, but the older girl's already gotten quite good at reading her.

Still, she doesn't know the whole story.

"It won't change anything. I'm still..." Harper murmurs, voice trailing off, and it's only when she briefly shakes those thoughts from her mind that she can bring herself to speak again, "I can't run from what I am. Getting rid of the words won't change anything."

"I'm trying to be a supportive friend and all, but I can't really help you through your existential crisis when you're so vague." Shuri remarks, tone slightly playful but somewhat reserved simultaneously. Harper appreciates the balance. "I thought you Americans loved to talk about yourselves."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "You need to stop getting your opinions on Americans from what you see on reality TV. We're not all so..."

"Self absorbed?" Shuri questions, grinning.

Harper nods back, rolling her eyes playfully at the older girl. She's told her time and time again that most Americans aren't like the ones shown on reality TV and that she needs to stop basing her opinions on Americans from what she sees on the screen. Whilst those shows are entertaining, they're far from realistic.

"Look, whatever you want to do, we can pull it off. If we both work on it, we can figure it out in days." Shuri says, tone serious, and Harper shrugs.

"I was trying for months before the Accords. I got nowhere."

"Yeah, but you didn't have me." Shuri counters, a small smirk coming to her face when Harper looks at her questioningly.

"You trying to say you're smarter than me now?"

"Oh, I know I am. I just dial it down a bit so you don't feel inferior." Shuri remarks confidently, turning back to the monitors as Harper rolls her eyes.

You can't knock Shuri for her confidence.

"That's interesting."

"What is?" Harper questions, glancing over at her friend questioningly, noting the inquisitive expression that forms on her face as she looks at the words on the screen.

"I've been studying Sergeant Barnes' trigger words whilst I've been working on a solution. I theorized that each word was chosen for a reason."

"Right, because choosing words of significance would've made association and programming easier. There'd already be memories and emotions associated to the words so a response would be faster." Harper responds, and Shuri looks over at, shocked by the ease and clarity of her statement. Harper shrugs, unperturbed, "I told you. I worked on this stuff for months."

She looked closely at the triggers during her research. It didn't take her long to notice their significance. After doing some further research, the reasons that those specific words were chosen became clearer.

"Do these words mean anything to you?" Shuri questions, nodding towards the monitor, and she pauses for a moment to red them again before speaking, "The first word is the same as Sergeant Barnes, which I suppose is pretty self explanatory, and I know that Sokovia was your first proper mission as an Avenger, correct?"

"Yeah. It was." Harper responds, and she's unable to stop the slight smile that comes to her face as she thinks about that time.

She was so excited back then. She was so naive and scared but also so exhilarated and alive. She felt like she could take on the entire world when she saw that logo on her brand new suit.

But it wasn't all good, and her smile soon turns to a grimace when the darker parts of her very first mission come to mind. She quickly pushes on past it, reading the next word on the monitor and making a conclusion of her own.

"Shield must be for Steve. I don't know what else it could be."

She always figured that had to be what it represented. She can't think of anything else in her life that relates to a shield.

"Twenty, zero, and one." Shuri reads, taking a moment to process the words before coming to a realization, "Sergeant Barnes has one, nine and seventeen."

Harper has her own theory about the numbers, and hearing Bucky's only confirms her theory. They represent the years that they were both born in...God, it's strange to think that Bucky was born in 1917. That makes him 99 years old...

Harper shrugs at the next word, "Jet could be linked to the QuinJet."

"What about 'bullet'?"

"I've been shot." Harper says, shrugging again, as Shuri looks at her, aghast, "More than once actually."

"It worries me that you can say that so casually." Shuri says, shaking her head in disbelief when Harper smirks slightly, "Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Harper responds, smirk faltering only slightly, "I thought you wanted me to smile more."

"A smirk isn't the same as a smile." Shuri quips back, rolling her eyes playfully as she turns back to the monitor, furrowing her brow as she reads the last word, "Have you ever been to Russia?"

No. No, she hasn't. She could easily go if she wanted to, but she's never been to Russia. Not even for a mission. Her knowledge of the language is somewhat limited, though she knows that's not the reason why it's one of her triggers. Deep down, she knows that there's only one possible reason as to why it's one of her triggers, and for a second she feels a painful tug at her heart when she comes to that realization.

But then, like always, the pain turns to anger and resentment. She tells herself that it's easier that way, but recently she's been doubting that.

All she can do is keep moving forward. That's all any of them can do, especially considering that it's impossible to go back.

"Lets look at the projectiles again. There's still a couple of things I wanna tweak." Harper murmurs, using her Kimoyo Beads to remotely switch off the monitor, and Shuri doesn't question her sudden shift.

Harper's beyond grateful that she doesn't, because she's scared that she might breakdown if she does, and she can't allow that to happen.

No use breaking down over things she can't change.

That's her strategy. Keep running from it all. Keeping on moving even when she's gasping for air and she feels like she's about to fall apart, because even though she can't see it, she knows that there has to be an end to all of this eventually.

She has to keep fighting. She's tired of it, but she's been told that she's good at it. If she keeps fighting, then it can't catch up to her, and if it can't catch up to her, then how can it really affect her? That's what she keeps telling herself. It can't catch up to her. It won't catch up to her. It's not going to catch up to her.

Except, it does.

It hits her a couple of hours after she leaves the lab, when she's alone in their suite, staring at the blank flat screen mounted on the wall in front of her. She did have the news on, but the headlines were making her twitch nervously. She almost blew up the screen, but then she remembered that it's not hers to destroy and so she switched it off instead.

Whilst she may not have liked the headlines, they were providing her with a good distraction that she didn't realize she needed. With the distraction gone, it didn't take long for her thoughts to spiral.

It's frightening how quickly she manages to fall to pieces. One minute she's fine, the next she feels like there's a ton of bricks lying on her chest, and then her head feels so clouded that she can barely string together any coherent thoughts.

She snaps her eyes shut and curls in on herself, because there's some abstract part of her that thinks that'll make it all go away, but she also knows that she's naive to think such a thing. There's nothing that can make it all go away. There's nothing that she can do. She can't change what she did. She can't make things go back to how they were.

She screwed up. She screwed up badly. It's all her fault. Everything's her fault. She's the problem. She makes everything worse. She's the reason everything fell apart. She pushed Nat away. She keeps making everyone else mad and worried. She's the problem.

It's all her fault...

"Mr Stark."

She rematerializes in her treehouse. God, it feels like it's been years since she's been in her treehouse.

She doesn't understand how, when or why she teleported here of all places. She wasn't thinking about her treehouse at all. Maybe she wanted to be somewhere safe. Maybe that's what it is. She doesn't really know anymore.

She doesn't understand why Mr Stark, of all people, is already in her treehouse. Her secluded, advanced security powered, private treehouse. She's surprised he knows that it exists.

He, however, doesn't seem remotely fazed by her arrival. Instead, he turns away from her empty Fruity Pebbles dispenser with a nonchalant expression, casually strolling over to the leather couch at the side of the room as he remarks, "It's a nice place you've got here. Could do with a bit of refurbishing, but it's pretty good, all things considered."

No 'what are you doing here?' or 'nice to see you after two months'. That's all she gets.

Maybe she should be okay with that. At least he's not questioning why she's here.

"How did you get in here?" Harper asks, tone more confused than accusing.

She's still trying to stop her head from spinning and her heart from pounding, which is far easier said than done. Mr Stark seems to notice her state, and at least for a moment he doesn't say anything about it.

"It wasn't hard to override your security protocols, especially considering that I designed them." He replies, shrugging, "Does Cap know that you're here?"

There it is. For a brief moment she's cautious. She's cautious because she's supposed to be on the run, and whilst she trusts Mr Stark, she doesn't know who could be listening in. She may be mad at Steve and the others right now, but she still wants to protect them.

At the same time, if someone was listening in, if Ross knew that she was here, J-SOC would've moved in by now and tried to drag her out of her kicking and screaming.

No - no one else is here. It's just her and Mr Stark, and she trusts Mr Stark. She always has.

She shrugs, "What do you think? Do I look like I would've told him?"

"No. You look like shit. And I'm guessing you feel like it too." He quips back, and a couple of months ago she might've laughed. Now, it just makes her feel sad.

He hasn't changed at all. He's still Mr Stark, and he still responds to her in the same way that he did when he first met her.

"What makes you think that?"

She questions his statement, though in his eyes it's rhetorical, and she supposes that, upon reflection, he's right. She can't see herself right now, but she assumes that she can't look great.

She knows that she always looks tired. She's been sleeping - the drugs have been making that a certainty - but she still looks drained all the time. She feels it too. She just preoccupies herself with projects and tasks to try and distract herself from the reality of her situation. Maybe it's not the best of strategies, but it's the only one she's got.

She sighs defeatedly when Mr Stark gives her a look, admitting, "I just...I needed to get away."

"From what?"

"Everything." Harper says, and Mr Stark quirks an eyebrow at her so she elaborates, "I keep trying to get away from the problem, but I can't."

"Why not?" He questions, reclining back into the couch, clearly relaxed, "You're smart. Can't you just figure it out?"

It's strange, Harper notes. Mr Stark seems so at ease. For him, it's as if no time whatsoever has passed. He wasn't fazed by her arrival, nor is he fazed by their topic of conversation or her state. He seems somewhat concerned, though he's masking it as he usually does, and it's only when she responds to his previous question that his concern becomes more apparent.

"I can't really get away from myself, can I?"

"You think you're the problem?"

He sounds shocked. Worried, almost.

She nods, tone insistent, "I know I am. I can't control my own mind."

That's the issue. Well, it's one of the issues. She's not in control. She hasn't been for a long time, and it's part of the reason why she keeps making things worse.

"Who can?"

"You don't understand, Mr Stark." She insists, shaking her head.

No one understands. None of them know what she did. None of them realize how much of a monster she is. How dangerous she is. They don't get it.

"Remember who you're talking to here." He responds, leaning forward in his seat as he insists, "Try me."

For a brief moment, she considers teleporting away. She considers running and hiding, because deep down she knows that it's probably the easier option. It's what she's been doing a lot recently - combined with lashing out at everyone - and though it's barely working, it still is.

So she considers it. She considers leaving without saying another word, because it's not like Mr Stark can follow her if she does.

But then she sees the way he's looking at her. He's concerned, sure, but it's not so overwhelming that it's suffocating. His expression is understanding and calm and has a normality that she's missed badly the last couple of months.

"I-I...I killed someone."

It's somewhat comparable to catharsis. In a way, it feels good to finally say it. It kinda feels like she's lifting a massive weight off of her shoulders, although in truth that's not happening at all. Truthfully, she's verbally accepting what she's done. She's admitting what she's caused right in front of Mr Stark, and she's smart enough to know that she can't just teleport away now. She owes him an explanation, and maybe some part of her wants to talk about it. Maybe some part of her wants to let that crushing weight slip away, even for just a moment.

"Ross used the triggers and they brought this guy in, and they told me to snap his neck so I did and...and I killed him! I-I murdered him!"

She rushes it out with a shout, and the horror only sets in after she's said it, and by that point it's too late to take any of it back.

She instantly looks down, too ashamed and scared to look at Mr Stark, because she doesn't want to see the likely horrified expression that she just knows is gonna be plastered across his face. She just admitted what she did. She's supposed to be one of the people who saves lives, not one of the awful ones who ends them.

And now she's given Mr Stark the perfect reason to turn her in. Maybe she deserves it for what she did.

"That's why you think you're the problem?"

Except, Mr Stark seems to think differently than her.

She looks up at him, confusion appearing in her watery and tired eyes as she sees the nonchalant expression on the man's face, and for a second she thinks that he must've misheard her.

"If killing someone makes you the problem, then I guess we're all a problem." He responds, shrugging, "We've all done it. Even Cap."

"That's different."

She doesn't get it. She doesn't understand how unbothered he is about all of this. She just admitted to killing someone and he doesn't even seem fazed. He's even admitting to being in that position himself, though Harper knows that their situations are drastically different from one another. They have to be.

"Yeah, it is. We had control, or at least we pretended that we did." He responds heavily, "You didn't by the sound of it."

"But I still did it."

That's the thing that she can't shake. No matter what he says, no matter what anyone says, she can't change what she did. She can't change the monster that she is. She can't change or remove all of the pain that she's caused.

"And you can't change it." Mr Stark says bluntly, seemingly reading her mind, and she looks back at him, stunned, when he shrugs, "You clearly don't want me to feel sorry for you, so I'm being honest instead. You can't change what you did, but you're not the only one. None of us can go back."

He's right. She doesn't want him to feel sorry for her. She doesn't want anyone to. That's something that the others don't understand. She doesn't want pity or sympathy. She just needs someone to understand, and she knows that they've been trying, but it just feels like they're walking on eggshells around her and that everything is just...

"Everything's a mess." She admits, hands twitching nervously as she glances between them and him, "I keep trying to fix it but I-."

"Can't?"

She nods.

It's strange. Mr Stark hasn't seen her in months, yet it seems like he knows her better than anyone else right now. It's like he understands.

"Listen to me, okay? I know you don't like to, but try to, just for a minute." He tells her, continuing when she simply nods back. "You can't fix everything else if you can't fix what's going on up there." He says, pointing to his temple, and she understands what he's talking about in an instant.

She sighs shakily, "I don't know if I can fix what's going on up there, Mr Stark. I-I've been trying."

"So try harder." He says simply, noting the look she gives him and shrugging, "Seriously, try harder. I'm assuming you're with Cap and the others. Talk to them. And don't tell me you have been, because I know for a fact you're only opening up to me because you're desperate."

"I'm not desperate."

Mr Stark scoffs, "Really? You look it."

"Wow, thanks." She responds sarcastically, narrowing her eyes slightly, though she fully can't bring herself to be mad at him.

She's missed Mr Stark more than she'll admit. She's missed this sense of normality.

"Someone's gotta keep you grounded." He says, shrugging, "Cap and Romanoff coddle you too much."

He's always said that, and maybe that used to be true.

No. No, that definitely used to be true.

"Not anymore. I'm just causing more problems for Steve, and Nat..." She says, voice trailing off, and she takes a moment to correct herself before speaking again, "Things aren't like how they used to be, Mr Stark."

She hates to admit it, but it's true. Things are a far cry from how they used to be, and as much as she hates it, she knows that there's not much she can do about it.

Mr Stark seems to know it too.

"And they won't be. Things aren't gonna go back to how they were, kid. We have to accept that."

"What if I can't?" She questions, sighing tiredly.

He doesn't give her a direct answer to her question, which she supposes is an answer in and of itself.

She watches as he stands up and crosses the room, pausing by her old workbench and mindlessly fiddling with some of the tools that have been left there for months. "You know, you're lucky, kid." He says casually.

"You've told me that before."

Several times, in fact.

"Good to know you're paying attention. Took you long enough." He quips back, placing the tool in his hand down and turning back to her, leaning back against the workbench as he asks, "Do you know why I keep saying you're lucky?"

She shrugs, "Because I have people keeping me alive?"

He shakes his head, telling her that she's not even close, and for a second she's confused, and he explains when he notices.

"Because you have people who care very much about you." He says, "Cap has been protecting you since the first day you were brought into the tower. So has Barton, and from what I've heard, Sam's the exact same. Not to mention the teenage girl that's more powerful than a weapon of mass destruction, along with the Demi-God and the synthetic android that have got your back."

"Vision stopped me from helping the others back in Leipzig." Harper counters, though Mr Stark has a counter of his own ready.

"Because he knew they would take you too if you tried."

She falters when he says that, because she hadn't even considered the situation in that way. Things are a bit different with Vision. He's an android. His choices are governed by logic and circumstance rather than emotion or care. She hadn't considered the possibility that he was just trying to protect her because she didn't know that he was capable of thinking that way. She chose to be angry at him instead. Maybe she still kinda is. Maybe that's her problem.

"Yeah, well, they still did."

They still got her. It didn't matter what Vision or Mr Stark or anyone else did. Ross and his men still came and took her right from the facility and threw her into that hell hole they were excusing as a prison.

"And I tried to get you back out."

"You did?" Harper questions, surprised.

Now that, that she didn't know. She had no idea he was trying to get her out.

"Right up until I heard that you broke out." He says simply, "Like I said: you're lucky."

"Thank you for trying." She replies, tone genuine and he nods.

He didn't include himself in the list of people he talked about, but Harper knows that he cares about her too. He always has - he just has an odd way of showing it.

"You know, kid. You're really starting to owe me." He says suddenly, quickly changing the subject onto something less dismal, "I mean, all of the tough love I just gave you came completely free, and I've been keeping an eye on Mr Parker since you've been gone."

"You have? How is he?" Harper asks, eyes wide and interested.

She forgot that Mr Stark said he'd keep an eye on Peter. She was so relieved when he said that he would, especially considering how excited Peter was to be a part of 'the superhero life'. He reminded her of what she was like at the start, and they all know how that panned out for her. He needed to have someone to watch his back.

"Antsy." Mr Stark remarks, "He texts and calls Happy like ten times a day. Asks about you at least twice. Happy ignores him every time."

She smiles for a moment. Genuinely. Sounds like Peter hasn't changed one bit.

"And Ross isn't...I mean, he won't-."

"Spider-Man's not on his radar. He's safe." He confirms reassuringly, and she nods, sighing in relief. "Might help you sleep a bit easier at night." He adds, and he's not wrong.

She feels better knowing that Peter's okay even without her around to look out for him.

"I'm sorry about everything, Mr Stark." She says apologetically, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge to apologize, "I-I tried to stop everything and I...I wanted to fix it, I really did, but-."

"I know, kid." He interjects, tone understanding, "You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault."

She's heard that a lot of times before. In fact, it's what the others have been telling her in pretty much any of the conversations that they've had in the last few weeks. Usually she doesn't believe it. Usually she can't bring herself to believe it. She still doesn't know if she does, but hearing Mr Stark say it...

Maybe it's not entirely her fault. Maybe she has to accept that.

She hugs him then. It's an impulse decision, and she doesn't even realize that she's done it until she's stood up and wrapped her arms around him, and it takes him a moment to respond before he hugs her back. She doesn't know if she's ever hugged him before, but it doesn't feel foreign. It feels familiar. Safe.

"Goodbye, Mr Stark." She says, pulling back from the hug, a slight smile coming to her tired face.

"Stay out of trouble, flashlight hands."

She nods, smile growing slightly at the mention of her old nickname. She never thought that she'd miss hearing it. She takes a step back as she prepares to teleport away, and it's only when she's about to dematerialize that she thinks about something and pauses.

"Wait." She says suddenly, abruptly catching his attention, "Can...can I come back here sometime?"

She's apprehensive, because part of her is fully convinced that he'll just say 'no'. He easily could. Technically he wouldn't be able to physically stop her, but he could still tell her not too and she would probably listen. Would she have listened a year ago? Probably not, but things are different now.

"You're really not great at this whole 'going dark' thing, are you?" He quips, eyebrow quirked, and she shakes her head sheepishly. He sighs, feigning frustration as he remarks with a shrug, "I suppose I can't stop you. It's not like there's a switch to turn off that weird teleportation thing you can do."

Her smile grows again despite herself. Classic Mr Stark.

She thanks him once more before dematerializing, reappearing in the hall leading up to their suite. It's dark now, which to her seems odd because she could've sworn that she wasn't gone for that long, but then again she's never been very good at keeping time. She should really invest in a watch.

She strolls back down to the suite, pushing the white door open and stepping inside, pulling it shut behind her, and it's when she turns into the room that she sees everyone, all together in the same room for the first time in a while.

Like she said, she's been avoiding them all these past few days. She's hardly seen them all separately, let alone all together.

Wanda's the first one who notices her, a look of pure relief washing over her face as she does, "Harper! Oh, thank God!"

Harper pauses, confused by her reaction; she's even more confused when the others all look just as relieved. Seriously, how long was she gone for?

"Where have you been, kid?" Sam asks, tone non-accusatory. He's not questioning her. He just seems curious.

She notices the way they're all looking at her - like she's gonna break if they say anything. It frustrates her, so much so that she briefly forgets about the conversation she just had, and all she wants to do is run and hide away again to avoid the confrontation.

"Nowhere important." She murmurs back, shrugging off their concern as she makes her way for her bedroom door.

They watch her go, their concerned eyes trained on her right up until she reaches the door, and it's only when her hand closes around the door handle that she stops, what Mr Stark said echoing in her mind.

_"I'm assuming you're with Cap and the others. Talk to them."_

"The triggers."

She turns back around to face them, hand falling away from the door handle as they all register what she said, Clint being the first one to respond.

"What?"

She apprehensively walks back over to them all, taking a seat on the couch beside Clint and Steve, and Wanda leans forward in her seat opposite, clearly surprised that she hasn't just left the room like usual. Sam's sat in the armchair and he seems surprisingly composed by her response.

"I told you that Ross used the triggers, didn't I?" She asks, glancing between the four of them.

"He used the triggers?" Steve asks, stunned, as the other three nod.

Harper's surprised that he doesn't know. She figured that the others must've told him by now.

"What exactly are the...?" Scott begins to ask as he walks in from the kitchen, though he falters when the others shoot a look at him, tone turning sheepish, "I'm not helping, am I?"

"It's okay, Scott."

"It is?" Scott questions, tone surprised.

Harper doesn't have to look around at the others to know that they're just as surprised. She can't exactly blame them.

"HYDRA took me. They held me captive for months and these guys tried to find me, but it wasn't easy cause HYDRA were smart and destroyed the tracker in my suit before they could trace it." She explains, eyes remaining fixed on her twitching hands the entire time, and she knows that the others are aware of it but are hesitant to react.

Part of her wants to stop again. Part of her wants to run and hide from it all, but the other part of her wants to stay. The other part of her wants to listen to Mr Stark's advice.

So she does.

"They experimented on me. They're actually the reason I have enhanced senses and super strength, but they're also the reason that, like Bucky, all someone needs to do is say ten words to have complete control of me."

She turns back to Scott, a sense of guilt hitting her when she sees his sad and concerned and awkward expression.

"I-uh, I'm sor-."

"You don't need to apologize, Scott. It's not your fault." She interjects honestly, forcing a strained smile onto her face as a reassurance before glancing around at the others, "I've been lashing out at all of you and acting like an asshole because I haven't wanted to face the reality of the situation, and that's not okay."

"Harper, it's alr-."

"It's not, Steve. Shit happened, but it happened to all of us." She interrupts calmly, stopping the soldier before he can try and justify what he shouldn't.

She loves Steve, but his tendency to try and appease everyone by agreeing and accepting things he shouldn't is incredibly frustrating, especially when it's only prolonging the problem.

She knows he does it because he cares about her and wants to make her happy - they all do - but that's just the problem. She needs them to understand instead of sympathise.

She needs to stop running from what happened. From what she did.

"When we were on The Raft, Ross found out about the triggers. I don't know how he did but he did, and he used them."

"You can remember that?" Wanda asks, confused, and Harper nods back.

"I can remember what happens most of the time. Bucky probably can too. That's what makes it worse." She explains, briefly catching Steve's eye as she mentions Bucky before continuing, "I don't know why, but I'm stronger when the triggers are active. I don't know if it's because of HYDRA or Ross or if it's just me, but it's like a switch gets flipped or something. Ross and his men dragged this guy in. I don't know who he was or what he did, but at the time it didn't matter. I-."

She falters, her voice trailing off as she finds herself looking back down at her twitching hands.

"It's okay."

She looks up again when Wanda places a comforting hand on her shoulder, expression understanding and kind but also curious, and Harper appreciates that because Wanda's not hiding the fact that she wants her to continue. It feels genuine and that's what Harper's been looking for for so long.

"I struck him once. Ross told me too." She continues, refusing to look back down at her hands and hide despite wanting to more than anything, "Apparently I broke almost every bone in his body. He was dead the second he hit the wall."

Catharsis. She's certain that's what it is. Sure, it's not entirely relief that she's feeling, but she knows that it's mixed in there somewhere.

Still, it's an understatement to describe it as a tough pill to swallow. It's a heavy confession, and she knows that from the way the room is suspended in silence.

"Shit."

Scott breaks the silence in a way that only he can, and maybe on another occasion the others might've smiled at his remark, though none of them can seem to bring themselves too. They just keep looking at her.

"Yep." She agrees, nodding "I kept blaming myself, and I guess I still do, but..."

"But it was all that bastard's fault. Not yours." Sam insists, clearly trying his best to mask his anger as he shakes his head profusely, "He manipulated you, kid. It's his fault, not yours."

"I know, but I still did it."

"I know the feeling, kid." Clint admits, and she glances over at him, initially confused.

It takes her a moment to remember what he went through back when the team first formed. She wasn't there, but she's heard about it from the others. She knows what Loki put him through - the control he had of him. She completely forgot about it for a time, but remembering it now makes her realize how much he understands her perspective.

"How do you get past it?"

God, she feels so stupid for not realizing it sooner. She was too busy trying to push them all away that she didn't even want to consider how they might understand.

"You don't. Not fully."

It's a depressing thought, but she appreciates the honesty. She'd rather that then being lying to and being promised the impossible.

"You keep moving, and you talk about it when you can't shake it from your mind. You have to rely on other people, as terrifying as that is, and accept the fact that it happened and that you can't change it." Clint says.

His last words echo in her mind.

_"You can't change it."_

She ends up falling apart, which for her is hardly new at this point. It keeps happening despite her best efforts to prevent it, and recently she's sorta just had to adapt to it happening because she's felt alone and at a loss.

She still feels at a loss, but this time she's not alone.

Wanda's the first one to reach out, wrapping her in a tight hug from her side of the couch, and she feels Steve place a hand on her shoulder in comfort next as Sam moves to kneel down in front of her, and even Scott mimics his actions to show his support.

See, she still falls apart, but this time, the others are there to pick her back up again. Maybe they always have been, except this time she actually lets them.


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time since I updated and I'm so so sorry! I've been super busy lately.
> 
> On the bright side, this chapter sees the return of a character you've been asking for...

"T'Challa's sure about this?" Clint questions, continuing to follow Steve down the pristine hallway of the palace.

Now, Clint trusts Cap. He always has. He wouldn't have sided with him on the Accords situation if he didn't. He got involved for several reasons, one being the fact that he agreed with Cap's side of the situation, another being the fact that he trusts him. Clint, like a lot of people, believes in Steve and trusts him. Sure, the number of people who do has diminished significantly recently, but Clint's belief in his friend and former teammate has never wavered.

However, whilst he trusts Cap and believes in most of the stuff he says, he's struggling to believe him on this one. He says that T'Challa's certain on it, but part of him is still doubtful.

"It was encrypted but, yeah, the message was from her." Steve responds.

Clint notices that he even sounds slightly surprised himself. He can't really blame him.

"You tell the kid?" Clint asks, stunned when Steve shakes his head.

He doesn't get it. If he was the one T'Challa told, the first thing he would've thought to do was tell the kid. She's the one who deserves to know out of all of them. She's the one who needs a warning.

He sighs tiredly, "Cap, come on. We said we'd talk to her."

"I know. It's not ideal." Steve agrees, sighing too, "Would you want to do it?"

"Oh, absolutely not. The kid's still a ticking time bomb." Clint responds adamantly.

She's opening up to them all more and she's doing far better than she was before. She's still relying on the drugs to sleep, and the nightmares and panic attacks haven't exactly vanished, but she's looking less pale and tired and she's actually smiling again, which of course they're all taking as a positive turn. Even then, the kid's not out of the woods yet. Far from it actually, and this is the exact thing that could send her spiralling right back to where she started.

Clint doesn't want that. None of them do. The kid may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she's still their kid and so she's their pain in the ass.

"Nat?"

She looks different. She's changed her hair again. Really, that's nothing new though. It seems to be different every time he sees her after some time. Usually she only changes its length though. This time it's blonde _and_ shorter. It's so unlike Nat that neither Clint or Steve recognised her at first. It's strange to see her without her red hair.

It's strange to see her entirely.

"Hey, Steve. Clint." She responds cautiously, glancing between the two men, expression initially stoic as she tries to gain a stance on the atmosphere. She hasn't seen either of them in months and she doesn't really know how to react, which is strange because she's gone longer without seeing either of them in the past and she's managed to interact with them easily after.

Maybe it's down to the current circumstances. The Accords and what followed messed everything up, and even if she did change sides right at the end, she doesn't expect everything to just be normal again. No, that would be too easy.

"Still friends, right?"

She directs the question at Clint, thinking back to the brief conversation they had back in Leipzig, silently hoping that he remembers it too. She knows that she's got more of a chance of getting through to Clint than she does with anyone else. They've both mutually agreed not to judge each other on their worst mistakes, and she's hoping that he remembers that.

She knows that he does when he smiles slightly.

"You didn't hit me hard enough." He quips back, grinning, as he moves forward and wraps his arms around her in a tight hug, "It's good to see you, Nat."

"Where you been?" Steve asks.

Part of him is happy to see Nat. Part of him actually really missed her, and he knows that everything that happened wasn't her fault. He can't even bring himself to blame Tony for what happened. He knows that he hurt him (he still can't fully forgive himself for it); he knows that it's not on either of them.

He's happy to see her, regardless of what he knows her arrival is gonna eventually cause, but he's also being practical. The last time he checked, they're all still wanted fugitives. He has to make sure that they're covering their tracks.

"Anywhere that Ross hasn't been. He's been searching for all of us for months." Nat responds, turning to Steve as she pulls away from Clint, "I'm surprised he hasn't looked here yet."

"T'Challa's still pro-Accords. Ross still thinks that he's out to get us too. I'd like to keep it that way." Steve responds diplomatically, and Nat smiles despite herself. She's missed Steve - she's missed all of them - even his serious side.

Still, she knows he's right. Ross can't think anything's change on T'Challa's side. It'll ruin everything.

"Have you heard from Tony?" Steve asks, casting a glance in Nat's direction as they begin to head back down the quiet and empty hall, and Nat shakes her head back.

"I think I damaged his ego the last time I saw him. He's not exactly my biggest fan right now."

"Don't worry. He's never been mine." Clint quips, laughing gruffly.

"The last I heard, Columbia couldn't do much for Rhodey. His spine was completely shattered from the fall." Nat explains, grimacing at the thought.

Sure, they were on different sides of the Accords situation, but Rhodey's still her friend. He's a friend to all of them. A lot of bad stuff came out of the Accords situation, but Rhodey's injury is up there as one of the worst.

"Stark will think of something." Steve says, tone reassuring, though Nat has a feeling that he's not just trying to reassure her.

She knows he feels bad about the Rhodey situation. It wasn't his fault, but Steve has a habit for blaming himself for things out of his control. The last time she checked, Harper was beginning to pick up the habit.

"How long have you all been here?"

"A few weeks, and I still don't know where the mess hall is." Clint replies, scoffing, as they turn the corner leading right to the suite, "The kid knows her way around the place already. Fairly certain she's got a map of the place burned into her brain."

Nat perks up slightly at the mention of Harper. Both Steve and Clint notice it as they reach the suite door, the two of them turning back to her as she stops just outside the suite, expression unreadable.

"Where is she?"

"Most likely through that door." Clint says, nodding to the suite door, and he notices something change in Nat's expression.

She doesn't look scared (he doesn't know if he's ever seen her look truly scared), but she looks hesitant. Wary, even.

He can't exactly blame her, especially when the three of them step inside of the suite to who's waiting there for them.

"What is she doing here?"

It's not Harper, though Clint kinda wishes that it was. Maybe she'd be less angry than who it actually is.

"Sam-."

Steve tries to stop the explosion before it can go off, and whilst it's a smart move, there's no way in hell that it's gonna work. It doesn't matter how much Sam is willing to follow and listen to Steve. He's clearly too angry right now to be reasoned with.

"Did you know she was coming?" Sam questions, glare remaining fixed on Nat despite the fact that he's not talking to her.

"T'Challa told me last night. That's when Nat contacted him." Steve responds calmly, his tone a stark contrast to Sam's.

Steve was only being honest, but it turns out that honesty wasn't the best move this time around.

"You've known since last night and you decided to keep it to yourself?! Don't you think this is the kind of thing you should tell us about?!" Sam yells, voice booming and filled with pure rage.

Clint grimaces, "Come on, Sam. You're gonna wake the kid."

"She's already gone! She left to go to the lab about twenty minutes ago, and thank God that she did, because this is exactly the kind of thing that's gonna make her spiral again!" Sam shouts, turning back to Steve as his voice continues to boom, "We finally got her in a good place, Steve! We finally got her to trust us again!"

Steve sighs, "I know, Sam."

Of course he knows. They all know. They all know how hard it was to get Harper to open up to them. They all know how dark the place she was in was.

Well, almost all of them know.

"What are you talking about? What's wrong with her?" Nat questions, glancing between the three of them, and Clint notes that the concern in her voice is palpable.

"Don't act like you give a shit!" Sam snaps, glare fixated back on her as he continues to shout angrily, "You're the reason she got stuck in there! When you ran off to save your own ass, Ross came and took her right from the facility!"

"You think I wanted to leave her?" Nat asks, responding with a fiery tone of her own to match Sam's, "I did it to keep her safe!"

Nat's trying to reason with Sam and, as it soon turns out, that wasn't exactly the best move to make. If anything, it only makes him angrier.

"No you didn't! You did it to keep yourself safe! They tortured her in that place! Experimented on her like those bastards did last year, and they only really did it to her because she would scream and curse at them if they tried to grab anyone else! She wouldn't let them get within six foot of Wanda because she knew how bad it was!"

"Sam, that's enough!"

"Back off, Steve! She needs to hear this! She needs to understand what she did to that girl!"

"Sam, what happened on the Raft wasn't Nat-."

"Shut up, Barton!" "You remember how she'd wake up screaming every single night? You remember how she'd wake up expecting _her_ to be there? You remember how she'd cry when she'd realize that she wasn't there? You remember how she'd cry about being alone and scared, and that all she wanted was someone to hug her and tell her that things were gonna be okay? Because I can't forget it!"

Sam's screaming, pure rage in his voice, and every last ounce of it is directed at Nat. She's clearly trying to remain unaffected by it - she's been trained to do just that - but both Clint and Steve can see the cracks in her facade. His words are getting to her, whether she wants to admit it or not.

"She's a kid! She's a kid that relied on someone to protect her, and that person let her down! She let her down!"

Maybe Sam's right. Nat didn't mean to let Harper down, but perhaps in some way she did regardless of her intentions.

"What is she doing here?"

Adding yet another match to the powder keg, because of course things couldn't just be easy. No, there had to be obstacles. They all turn around as Wanda walks into the room, the fire in her angered eyes matching Sam's perfectly, and of course Nat tries to put out the fire before it can spread.

"Wanda, I-."

It doesn't work.

Steve's the one who notices the red swirls as they begin to form around Wanda's clenched fists. He's the one who clocks onto it fast enough to stop it from happening, positioning himself between the two and raising his hands in surrender, tone instructing but calm.

"Wanda! That's enough!"

She listens, because Wanda's always listened to Steve. Like the rest of them, she trusts him. Still, that's not enough to make her trust the person he's trying to protect, and her glare remains even as she talks to Steve.

"Does Harper even know that she's here?!" Wanda questions, her frustration increasing when Steve shakes his head, "We promised her that we'd communicate too! We promised we'd tell her what's happening if she did the same!"

That's what they all agreed to. The night Harper opened up to them all that was one of the things they all agreed on. Even if Harper doesn't want to talk to them about everything, they should still try and communicate about the things that they can communicate about. It works both ways too.

This directly violates that agreement.

"I know, Wanda." Steve tries, "Look, Nat only just got here, and-."

"She shouldn't be here!" Wanda counters, hands begin to bristle again, and this time Clint's the one who catches onto it.

"We're trying to talk more, right? That's what we're doing, isn't it?" Clint says, stepping beside Wanda cautiously, briefly drawing her attention away from Nat for a moment, "Let her talk."

He's trying to appeal to Wanda's sense of reason. He knows that she has one.

Then again, she's still a kid. She's still a kid who's been hurt and seen the people she cares about being hurt and right now, like Sam, she's blinded by anger.

"She doesn't deserve to!" Wanda snaps back, red flares still there, and Clint's cautious of that fact.

"You don't have to listen, Wanda." Clint responds calmly, still cautious of her anger, "I know you're angry, but this...this won't change anything. Trust me."

He gets it. He understands what it's like to be so angry that you feel like you're gonna lose control, and maybe part of him is angry, not necessarily at Nat but certainly at the situation because the situation is nothing short of pure shit.

Still, Wanda's powerful enough to literally destroy the entire room with them all still inside it, and he'd rather that didn't happen. So he makes a stand, and it takes a moment before Wanda responds, the swirls from her hand disappearing as she unclenches her fists.

She turns and leaves the room, pushing the door open before she even reaches it and leaving it ajar as she stalks down the hall, and none of them miss the red spirals that begin to reappear around her hands as she walks away.

"I'll get her." Sam decides, turning back to Steve as he reaches the door, "If you care about the kid, you'll make sure she's gone before we get back."

He stalks out of the room then, shooting another harsh glare at Nat before he leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.

A moment passes and the dust somewhat settles, except not really because it never really does.

"Maybe she's right." Nat remarks, expression forcibly stoic, and both Steve and Clint can tell she's trying to conceal how she really feels.

Whether she'll admit it or not, what Sam and Wanda said touched a nerve.

"Wanda just needs time to cool off. She'll come around." Clint says reassuringly, pacing over to the kitchen, "She's just overprotective of the kid. We all are."

"So why aren't you mad at me, too?"

Clint shrugs, taking a seat at the counter, "Because I know what it's like."

That's what the two of them agreed to a long time ago. They don't judge each other on their worst mistakes. Besides, he understands what it's like to have to leave behind the people most important to you.

"Sam's not gonna forgive me anytime soon."

"He will when Harper does." Steve says, and both men notice the shift in Nat's expression when they mention the kid again. Both of them anticipate her next question before she asks it.

"Can I see her?"

* * *

"You ready for me to test it out?" Harper questions, glancing over at Shuri as she moves to stand opposite the stationary Panther Habit, fists raised as she prepares to strike it.

They've been working on upgrades to the suit alongside some of their other projects, though admittedly it's sorta been a bit of an afterthought in comparison. Shuri mentioned the energy redistribution capabilities of the suit, remarking how it mostly depends on forms of kinetic energy to absorb and redistribute. Harper figured that they should try and make it work for other forms of energy too.

"Not so fast, white girl." Shuri responds, calling over to her from the opposite side of the lab, "We don't know how strong this is gonna be. You've got to be prepared."

Harper scoffs. Shuri honestly worries far too much.

"Shuri, I think I can handle a little-." Harper begins to respond, pausing when she notices what Shuri's holding in her hand, "What's that?"

It's a helmet. A ridiculous looking, pink unicorn bicycle helmet that looks like it belongs to a six year old child, and Shuri holds it out to her, speaking with full sincerity as she says, "Put it on."

Harper shakes her head adamantly, "I'm not wearing that thing."

"Why not?"

"It's a unicorn."

"What's wrong with unicorns?" Shuri quips back, eyebrow quirked questioningly, "You're telling me you've seen aliens and you don't believe in unicorns?"

Whether or not she believes in unicorns isn't the issue here. She happens to think that unicorns likely may have existed at one point in time, but that's a story for another day.

"I technically haven't seen any aliens up close, so..." Harper murmurs, shrugging, before adding defiantly, "I'm not wearing it."

Now, Harper's had to sacrifice a lot in her life. Her parents, her normal life, parts of her newfound family and freedom, and, in some cases, her sanity. It's been hard, really hard, but she's still managed to cling onto her pride for the most part despite all of that. She's not about to lose it by wearing that ridiculous helmet.

"Well, then I guess we're not testing this out." Shuri decides, "It's a shame, really. Really thought we were onto something."

"Give me that." Harper grumbles, snatching the helmet from Shuri's hands before she can walk away and placing it onto her head, "You know, sometimes I wonder if you're actually my friend."

She tightens the helmet around her head and looks back to Shuri, shooting a glare at her when the older girl smirks.

"It's a good look. Let me just get a picture..." She murmurs, tapping away at her Kimoyo Beads to pull up the camera, taking a few pictures before Harper can stop her.

"Shuri!" Harper snaps, backing away from the camera with a glare, "I'm gonna kill you."

"Killing a monarch of the most technologically advanced nation on the planet? Not your best idea, I have to say." Shuri chuckles, "Besides, I thought we were friends, America."

Yes. They are friends. Shuri might even be one of her best friends, but God, can she be annoying.

"Are you gonna keep mocking me or are we doing this?" Harper questions, nodding to the sound tech waiting on standby, "Come on! Fire it up!"

"Since when did you get so bossy?" Shuri asks, walking over to the tech in question as Harper pulls at the helmet uncomfortably.

"Since you made me wear this God awful thing."

"Earplugs." Shuri adds as she begins to switch on the machine, and Harper nods, placing the earplugs into her ears as Shuri preps the machine.

They decided to test out sound energy first by emitting a high frequency sound wave. Most people won't even be able to hear it, but of course, Harper's not like most people, and the two of them agreed that avoiding permanent damage to her ears would be the safest bet.

"You ready?" Shuri questions after Harper pulls out the earplugs, the habit now glowing purple to signal that it's absorbed the energy from the sound machine.

Harper nods, positioning herself in front of the habit, fists raised again, "Yep. All good."

"Be careful. We don't know how strong this is gonna be." Shuri warns cautiously.

"Energy can't be created or destroyed, Shuri. You know that." Harper quips back, shrugging, "Whatever you put in is gonna be equal to what comes back out."

"But the suit amplifies that energy."

True. The suit is designed to amplify the strength of the energy that it takes in, but how strong can it possibly be?

"It'll be fine. Watch."

She strikes it then, opting to kick at it instead of going for a punch, hitting it with considerable strength. The knock back is instantaneous, sending her flying across the lab with remarkable speed and right through a glass panel that runs through the middle of the room. She hits the ground with a low groan, glass shards from the panel scattering all around her as she yells.

"Son of a bitch!"

"You okay?" She hears Shuri question, voice concerned.

"I've been better." Harper murmurs, the pain beginning to settle in, and it's when she tries to sit up that it really hits her. She hisses in pain, glancing down at her abdomen to find the source of the pain, and for a moment she's scared that she might pass out at the sight of it.

A massive glass shard protrudes from her bleeding stomach, and of course that just had to happen because it's her and she's got rotten luck.

Now she gets why Shuri wanted her to wear the helmet.

"Shuri! We've got a problem!"

Shuri rushes down the steps then, eyes widening in horror at the sight of her, not that Harper can blame her because she'd be the exact same if she were in her position.

"For Bast's sake! You're bleeding all over the floor of my lab!"

"That's your concern right now?!" Harper cries incredulously, faltering when a flash of burning pain shoots through her again, and she flops back down to the cold hard floor with a pained cry, "Oh, shit!"

"Try and make it heal."

"It doesn't work like that, Shuri!"

She's snapping, and usually she might feel bad for that, but she's in too much pain to really care right now. God, that seriously backfired.

"So how does it work?"

"I don't know!" Harper groans, another flash of pain hitting her as she continues to bleed, "Shit!"

"Okay, okay! Calm down!" Shuri responds hastily, clearly trying to be reassuring but failing miserably, "I'll go and get help."

She rushes off then, leaving Harper alone in the lab as she continues to cry out in pain, blood slowly pooling around her. Thankfully the glass shard is stopping a lot of the bleeding, but it still hurts like a goddamn bitch.

"Harper!"

She tries to turn around when she hears Steve call her name from afar, instantly regretting it and faltering when the pain only gets worse.

"Down here!" She calls back, wincing as she tries to shift back to the position she was in before. She hears several sets of footsteps approach, instantly beginning to ramble when they get closer and closer, "It was an accident, Steve! We were trying to-!"

She stops when another jolt of pain hits her, her voice dissolving into a pained shout as someone comes to her side.

"Oh, God."

She stills completely, temporarily forgetting about the roaring pain in her abdomen when she hears a voice. It's not Steve's or Shuri's or even Wanda's, and for a second she thinks she must've misheard it because she hasn't heard it in so long, and she honestly thought that she'd never hear it again.

"Nat?"

And with that, everything stops.


	17. 17

"What happened?"

She's surprised that Clint was the one they sent in to see her. She was almost certain that it'd be Steve, or that maybe they'd drag Wanda or Sam in to do it instead. Hell, she even thought that they might send Scott in, because at the end of the day Scott's easy to have a conversation with regardless of the circumstances.

But no, they sent Clint in instead. And in quick time too. The doctor only left a couple of minutes ago.

She said that she'll be completely fine. Her healing capabilities combined with the tech that Wakanda has to offer makes being impaled with a glass shard the equivalent to a paper cut in terms of danger. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but at least it keeps her alive.

Still, that's not what's on her mind right now.

"I underestimated the new tech that Shuri and I developed. The doctor said that the glass didn't cut too deep. It'll be fine." Harper replies, shrugging as Clint steps into the room fully, "And before you ask, I didn't do it on purpose."

"You not gonna ask about her?"

At least Clint doesn't sugarcoat it. He gets straight to the point. She has to admire that.

Harper sighs, "How long have you known?"

Clint sighs too, coming to take a seat next to her on the medical table, "Cap told me this morning. She only just got here."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Tic Tac doesn't. Think he's still asleep."

That answers her next question. Sam and Wanda must know. She's not entirely sure how they must've reacted, but something tells her that it couldn't have gone well. Maybe she should go and find them.

"How did she find us?" Harper asks after a moment.

That's what she doesn't understand. How could she have found them? No one knows that they're here - they would've come for them already if they did. How could she have figured it out? Why did she even bother figuring it out?

"I don't know. She sent an encrypted message to T'Challa."

"But how did she know we were here?"

"You're not the only smart one around here, kid." Clint quips, adding with sincerity, "Then again, most of the time you're the only one who acts like it. Cap should've told you when he found out."

"When did he?"

She figures that he couldn't have known for too long. She knows Steve, and she knows that he couldn't have kept it to himself for too long. He would've felt too guilty.

"Late last night. You were already out."

Right. The drugs had already knocked her out by that point. Sure, she's getting better - even if she's not fully okay still - but she's still relying on them to get to sleep. She wishes she didn't have to, but she supposes things can't just go back to normal all of a sudden. It's gonna take time, and she's okay with that. At least, she thinks she is.

She shrugs, "He could've told me this morning."

"I told him that, but-."

"But he was scared that I'd freak out."

Maybe she can't blame him for thinking that way given her track record. Irrationality and impulsiveness are common adjectives to describe her recent behavior. Still, he could've at least tried to tell her. He could've given her some form of warning at least.

"Are you going to?" Clint questions cautiously, expression matching his tone of voice.

"Yeah. Maybe try and not look at me like I'm a bomb that's about to go off." Harper scoffs dismissively, shrugging off his expression, and she pauses for a moment before she asks, "Is it okay if I don't know how to feel?"

That's the thing - she doesn't entirely know how she's feeling about all of this. Maybe she should be angry, or perhaps she should be relieved and happy, or maybe she should just be confused. She doesn't know, which seems to be a recent trend for her. She hates that it's the case, but she's come to realise that there's hardly much she can do about it.

"Yeah." Clint says, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Yeah, that's okay, kid. Normal, actually."

"Good. Because I don't." Harper responds, quickly standing from the table because she doesn't exactly want to stray into an emotionally vulnerable conservation right now. Sure, she's getting better at opening up to the others again, but she doesn't want to do that right now. Not really.

I'm going back to the lab. We need to run more trials."

"Harper-." Clint tries, catching her arm before she can head for the door, and she quirks an eyebrow back at him.

"Clint." She responds jokingly, brow furrowing when he looks back at her with a deadpan expression, "What? We're not doing that?"

"You're gonna have to talk to her eventually, kid." He says simply, "She's not going anywhere anytime soon. None of us are."

Maybe he's right, but it doesn't mean that she can't avoid it for as long as humanly possible. That's not what catches her attention, however, and her expression turns sympathetic as she asks, "T'Challa still not made a deal for you and Scott?"

She knows the monarch's been working tirelessly alongside his correspondents. It hasn't exactly been easy, especially considering that they don't want anyone to know that they're here. Still, they had all hoped that at least some progress would've been made by now.

"He says it'll take another month at least." Clint responds, clearly disappointed by that fact, but he quickly tries to shrug it off as he adds, "There are worse places to seek asylum though. The food here ain't bad."

Her gut twists painfully. He's trying to put up a front, though she can tell he's disappointed.

"I'm sorry you're still stuck here. I know how much you miss your family." She says apologetically, sighing as she steps away from the door, "I can't imagine what this must be like for them."

"Laura...well, Laura knew what she signed up for. She'll understand." Clint responds, shrugging, as Harper moves to take a seat beside him again, "And the kids know that when I leave, I leave to protect them. I don't want to leave them, but they get it."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "Even Nate?"

"Oh, he's the smartest of the three of them." Clint remarks, adding with a slight smirk, "Don't tell Lila I said that."

"I won't. I promise." Harper says, laughing lightly, and Clint's smirk shifts into a small smile when she does.

Harper's not laughed properly in a while.

It's short lived, the smile slipping off her face when she hears two sets of footsteps approach, and Clint notices the panic that sets in across her face just as he hears it too.

"You're okay, kid." He says reassuringly, rising from the table and squeezing her shoulder lightly, "I'll be right back, okay?"

He only leaves when she nods back, closing the door behind him just as Steve approaches, Nat walking alongside him. She's trying to hide it, but Clint knows his friend. She's anxious.

"How is she?" Steve asks, concerned.

"The kid can bounce back from anything. She'll be fine."

Both of them sigh in relief as he says that.

"And what about-?"

"She doesn't know how she feels, which is probably the best outcome right now." Clint interjects, casting a glance in Nat's direction as he asks, "You wanna see her?"

"Is she okay with that?" Nat questions, tone uncharacteristically apprehensive, and Clint shrugs again.

"Like I said - the kid doesn't know."

He's not about to speak on the kid's behalf. That's not the place of any of them, and even if it was, it wouldn't be his. Wanda's or Steve's or maybe even Sam's, but not his.

"Never mind."

They head back into the room, except by the time they do, the kid's already long gone. Of course she is - she can teleport and fly.

"Where'd she go?" Nat asks, glancing around the room with a slightly panicked expression, and Steve matches her soon after.

Clint's less concerned.

"Probably back to the lab." He says casually, "Give her space. She'll come around in a couple hours."

Both of them look somewhat surprised by his laid back attitude, but he just shrugs again.

"What's the worst that the kid could do?"

* * *

"Hey, Pete."

She shouldn't be here. She knows that. It's probably the worst place she could be at right now, but she needed to get away. She was beginning to panic and she could feel her heart racing, and she just knew that if she didn't get away she would've only gotten worse. Besides, she's not ready yet. She doesn't want to face her yet. She can't do it.

"Jeez!" Peter exclaims, jumping back with a fright when he notices her stood in the corner of his bedroom. He rushes to close the door, pulling his earphones from his ears as he approaches her, still dazed, "Harper?"

He's beyond surprised that she's there - and maybe she can't blame him for that. No, she definitely can't blame him for that. She figures it must be a bit of a shock to the system, especially considering that she turned up uninvited. Still, she has a reason beyond just wanting to get away.

"You miss me?" She jokes, grinning slightly, because she's just so happy to see him.

She's missed Peter. She's missed him a lot. She didn't get the chance to talk to him properly after everything that went down in Leipzig. At the time she thought that was for the best because it kept him out of everything, but she soon regretted not filling him in on what was happening. That wasn't really fair of her.

"What happened? You said that you'd contact me after a few days, and I started getting really worried when you didn't, and I tried contacting Mr Stark and Happy but neither of them answered me and for a second I thought you were dead and I-."

She cuts him off when she lunges forward and hugs him tightly, and she's certain that her grip would feel beyond suffocating if it weren't for Peter's enhanced durability and strength. Still, it's enough to make him stop talking, especially when she murmurs, "Missed you too, Pete."

He hugs her back after a moment, his sudden outburst long forgotten, though it doesn't take long before he asks.

"What happened?"

She sighs, pulling back and crossing the room to take a seat as he mimics her actions. She debates it for a second, but when she sees the concern and confusion and curiosity on his face, she finds that she can't not tell him.

So she does.

She tells him everything. Well, not everything. There are certain grim details that she wants to keep him away from, not only for his own wellbeing but also for the fact that she doesn't really want to think about them herself. Still, she tells him most of it. What happened after Leipzig, the Raft and the aftermath of it. He deserves to know the truth. She owes him that at least.

"Oh, well, now I feel bad."

She quirks an eyebrow at him, confused, especially when she sees the guilt on his face, "Why? It wasn't your fault."

Peter shakes his head, tone sheepish as he admits, "No. I feel bad cause I was mad at you for ghosting me."

She can't help but smile, rushing to shrug him off for being so ridiculous. She wouldn't blame him for being frustrated. She promised she'd contact him within a couple of days and then she didn't and didn't give him an explanation as to why.

Still, Peter worries too much.

"Your identity still a secret?" She asks, changing the subject, relieved when he nods back.

"Yeah. No one knows. Not even May."

"Good."

At least there's something positive to think about. As long as Peter's identity's still a secret, he's relatively safe. He can't be made to sign the Accords or locked up if no one can find him. Besides, she's certain that Mr Stark must be doing something to help protect him.

"Wait, why are you even here?" Peter asks suddenly, expression turning to one of panic, and he falters slightly when she quirks an eyebrow at him, "I mean, I'm glad that you are and all, but won't you get caught? I don't want you to get caught because of me, Harper. If they find you, they'll take you back to that place, and it'll be because you came to see me and I-."

"Calm down, Pete, okay? No one knows that I'm here." She responds quickly, tone reassuring as she nods.

She knows that he understands when he nods back, reclining back into his seat ever so slightly as he seems to relax. She knows he's still concerned, and she gets it, because she'd feel the exact same way if she were in his position, especially considering that their contact is limited...

That reminds her of the other reason she's here, and she remarks as she reaches into her pocket and rises from her seat, "Besides, I've been meaning to give you this."

She passes it over to him, noticing the confusion that crosses his face as he examines it for himself, eyebrow quirked as he reads what's on the small slip of paper she's passed to him, "What is it?"

"The number for my burner phone."

"Burner phone?"

She thought about setting one up a while ago, back when she was in a really, really dark place. It gave her something to think about for a brief amount of time. Kinda took some of the edge off for a moment, though she ignored it for a while when things got really bad.

"Yeah. I've modified the phone so it's untraceable, but it gives you an option." She explains, shrugging, "If you get into trouble, call me. And by trouble I mean like a potentially life-ending crisis. I'm still technically a wanted fugitive."

Even with the safety measures she's put in place, she knows it's still a risky move to make. However, she knows that it'll set her mind at ease at least somewhat. She hopes that it doesn't, but things could go wrong at any moment. She needs Peter to know that she's there to help him if she really has to. She wants him to know that she's still his friend.

But, like she said, it's for emergencies of the life-ending kind. That's it.

"You shouldn't be."

"Tell that to Ross and the government." Harper quips back, adding as an afterthought, "Actually, don't do that. I don't want you to get stuck in the same room as that asshole."

That's the last thing Harper wants to happen. In fact, she's willing to do whatever it takes to keep Ross as far away from Peter as possible. She's not letting him get tangled up in all that mess.

"Thanks, Harper."

She smiles back at him, preparing to tell him that he has no reason to thank her because she's his friend and she's only doing what friends are supposed to do, but she's interrupted by the sound of another voice behind the door.

"Peter? I'm back! I got Thai!"

She figures that it's his aunt, though she wouldn't know because she still hasn't met her. It's probably a bit too late to now.

She glances back at Peter, noticing the panic that crosses his face at the sound of her voice, and he rushes to respond by saying he'll be 'out in a minute'. She doesn't know why he's panicking. She can teleport away in an instant.

"I'd love to stay for dinner, but, you know..." Harper jokes, trying to settle Peter's nerves, and she knows it's worked when he laughs slightly. She smiles, stepping forward and hugging him tightly for the second time as she murmurs, "It was good to see you, Pete."

"Yeah. Yeah, it was good to see you too."

She gone in a second right after, re-materializing back into their suite in the palace. She manages to do so in silence, which is a relief because she's quick to notice Sam, whose stood with his back to her in the kitchen.

"Hey, Sam."

She strolls towards the kitchen, stopping by the countertop as Sam turns around to face her. He smiles back at her, though she can tell he wants to say something. It takes him a moment before he actually does.

"I heard about what happened." He admits, tone somewhat cautious, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm all good." Harper responds, nodding, adding, "Are you?"

She's lying. Even if she won't admit it, she is, and she can tell by the expression on his face when he nods back that he knows it and he's lying too. Nothing about this is okay. She just doesn't really know how to deal with it all.

"Has she tried to speak to you yet?"

"I don't know. I haven't really seen her." Harper responds quickly, technically telling the truth. She hasn't seen her because she's been avoiding her. "Where's Wanda? Scott?" She asks, glancing around the room.

"Tic Tac's grabbing dinner. Wanda went for a walk."

"How do they feel about all of it?"

She's mostly worried about how Wanda will react to it all. Wanda's powers can cause even more damage than her own, and an emotional outburst would be just the thing to cause it.

"Still don't think Tic Tac knows. Wanda's pissed. I had to stop her from almost destroying the top half of the palace this morning." Sam explains with a sigh, leaning back against the counter tiredly.

He looks exhausted. She doesn't blame him. It's been a long day for all of them.

"What about the others?"

"Apparently they're giving her a tour of the palace." Sam says, scoffing in disbelief, the anger pushing it's way into his voice. He pauses for a moment before asking, "Are you not mad?"

Harper shrugs, "I don't know how I feel about it."

Maybe she should be angry...no. No she should be angry. She has every right to be angry after what happened. After everything that they all went through. After everything that she went through.

But anger only makes things worse. She knows that. She's been there. She ruins things when she gets angry. She destroys things. She destroys everything.

She's the problem.

"They're acting like nothing's wrong! It's a goddamn joke! Especially after everything she did to you!"

Sam's yelling, though Harper's not paying attention to any of it. She can't seem to focus on it, which is odd because her brain is literally wired to be able to focus on things to a greater degree than most people. Still, she can't seem too. She's struggling to even form a coherent sentence.

"I...I heard her earlier. She was coming up to the med bay with Steve. I teleported away before they saw me." She murmurs, fixating on the sound of her own heartbeat to try and ground herself. She can hear it getting faster and faster by the second, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Sam. What I'm supposed to say. How I'm supposed to feel. I-I just don't...I can't..."

It's getting harder and harder to breathe and she hates that she recognizes the feeling. Sam recognizes it too, though Harper doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing. She thought she was getting better. She thought that things were getting better. She was starting to think that everything didn't totally suck.

"Easy does it, kid. I've got you."

His tone is soothing and surprisingly calm. Maybe she should've expected that. Sam's past makes him more than qualified to deal with this kind of stuff.

She's not even aware of the fact that they've moved until she feels the leather couch cushions beneath her, and the only thing that's grounding her is the sound of Sam's voice, the sound of her raggedy breaths drowning it out somewhat.

"Just focus on my voice, okay? I'm right here."

"I-I can't...Sam, I-."

"It's okay, kid." Sam tells her, cautiously avoiding physical contact, "Just try and breath, okay. You got this."

"Sam?"

Harper doesn't register the other voice, but Sam does. He turns towards Wanda as she steps into the room, instantly noticing the concern that overwhelms her face at the sight of Harper, and it doesn't take her long before she rushes over to the two of them, slightly hesitating when she finally gets there.

Sam smiles sadly in understanding. He understands the hesitation. He understands the concern. He understands all of it.

"Look who's here, kid." He says softly, turning back to Harper as Wanda hesitantly kneels down beside him in front of the panicking girl, reacting in the exact same way as Sam to the situation.

"W-Wanda." Harper murmurs, breaths sharp and painful, "W-what..."

"It's okay. You're okay, Harper." Wanda tries, trying desperately to be reassuring, and for a brief second it looks like it might be helping.

But then the door opens again, and Sam finds himself cursing under his breath at the sound of it.

"What happened?"

It's her voice. Of course she had to be the one to ask. It couldn't have been Steve or even Clint. It just had to be her, and Sam finds that he can't contain his anger.

"You happened!" He snaps angrily, standing up and turning towards her with pure rage in his eyes, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction.

She seems taken aback by his outburst. Not surprised, but certainly taken aback, even more so when Steve steps forward to defend her, shooting a calm yet warning look in Sam's direction.

"Sam!"

"Shut up, Steve! Stop trying to defend her!" Sam snaps back angrily, fixating his glare on her as he continues to yell, "This is all on her!"

"Come on, Wilson!" Clint tries, stepping forward just as Cap did before him, but that only seems to piss Sam off even more.

"You can shut up too! Look at the kid, man!" Sam shouts, emotion cutting into his voice as he points in Harper's direction, and he doesn't miss the way Nat's expression shifts when she lays her eyes on the panicking girl, "She caused all of this!"

"And now you're making things worse!"

Sam takes a step towards Clint, fists clenched angrily and glare shifting to him for his suggestion. He only stops when Wanda catches his arm, his anger temporarily diffusing as he turns towards her, registering the worry and fear in her expression.

"Sam. Not now." She murmurs, tone pleading as she nods towards Harper.

Guilt settles into the pit of his stomach when she looks even worse than she did before.

"Hands."

"What?" Sam questions, shooting a sharp and confused look back in Nat's direction when he picks up on what she's saying, and even the others look confused by what she's said.

She ignores them all, eyes remaining fixed on Harper as she calmly moves around them all, kneeling down in front of Harper with no hesitation whatsoever, not even when she reaches out and places her hands on top of the young girls.

It's only then that the rest of them realize that her hands are glowing.

"Harper, what's the law of energy conservation?"

It's a simple question, especially for a person as smart as the kid, but none of them understand why she's asking. Sam's the only one to vocalize it.

"What the hell are you-?!"

"The t-total energy of an i-isolated system...r-remains constant." Harper stutters, breaths still ragged but her sentences more coherent, "It cannot be created or destroyed. Only transferred."

"That's good." Nat murmurs calmly, next asking, "What about the third law of motion?"

"W-when one body exerts a force on a second body, the s-second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the...the first body."

Harper manages to get control of her breathing again, and the glowing in her hands begins to die down, though it takes a moment for her to gain an understanding of her surroundings again. She makes eye contact with Nat, though none of them can really tell how she feels from her reaction.

She's stoic. Blank. Unreadable.

"Better?" Nat asks softly, relief washing over her face when the younger girl begins to breathe properly again, though she doesn't receive an answer to her question as Harper rises from her seat, storming out of the room and into her own.

Nat has to disguise her disappointment before anyone else can see it.

"How did you know that would work?" Clint asks after a moment, and it's only then that Nat notices that the others are all staring at her.

Wanda looks surprised, though less angry than before. Sam still looks pissed, but confused at the same time. Clint and Steve just look confused.

"Unloading stuff from her brain calms her down. She used to say it took some of the weight off." Nat explains, smiling softly as she adds, "The kid's too smart for her own good."


	18. 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry for that. Life's been really busy recently. I've been trying to write more recently, but I've just struggled to find the time. For now, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :)

"Almost got it."

She finishes tweaking the headset with a slight grin, only jumping slightly when it sparks again. She places the screwdriver down on the desk beside her, holding the headset up to examine it. It's not perfect - far from it, in fact - but it'll get the job done.

She's trying to take Mr Stark's advice. Normally she wouldn't even when she should, but she has to admit that sometimes he can be right. The problem she has is that she doesn't feel like she's in control. That's always been the problem. She's never really has control of what's going on, and because she doesn't feel like she has control, she spirals. She spirals and then she gets picked back up again, but at the end of the day she still feels just as bad as she did before. It's a vicious cycle she's been stuck in for far too long.

So she's listening to what Mr Stark said. She's trying to understand what's going on in her head, because how can she expect to understand everything else if she can't even understand herself?

But she's also smart enough to know that she could use a little help. That's where the headset comes in.

She places it on her head, standing from the desk as she says tentatively, "Run software."

"Hello, Harper."

She grins when the programmed voice responds. Not that she's doubting her own intelligence or ability, but she wasn't sure if this was gonna work.

"My name is A.I.D.A.N. An Intelligence Database and Network. Although, I suspect you already know that."

She had to give the new software a name. Mr Stark always does. It's not the same as A.M.Y, but A.I.D.A.N's a good alternative. Plus, he's got a British accent like J.A.R.V.I.S, and who doesn't like a British accent?

"How may I assist you?"

"I need you to run a neural scan. The headset should have the capability if I programmed it correctly." She responds, crossing over to the monitors across the room as the A.I responds.

"Certainly. Scanning underway." A.I.D.A.N responds, "Approximately three minutes until completion."

She had hoped that she calibrated the tech correctly, though she definitely had her doubts. She's happy she actually pulled it off. She's sorta lost her tech skills recently.

She glances at the monitor as A.I.D.A.N completes the scan, absentmindedly jumping onto YouTube to watch something to pass the time. She's been trying to have something to occupy her mind with constantly recently. It stops her thoughts from wandering to places they shouldn't go. It keeps her out of that headspace. She doesn't want to keep slipping into it.

She's scared, for a brief second, that she might when she sees the first video that pops up in the recommended tab, the title making her heart jump.

'SPIDERMAN DOING BACKFLIPS IN QUEENS'

She ends up watching it, the sound of Peter's laughter beneath the mask matching the cheers of the person filming him. He's far away, backflipping atop a building as people spectate the video from below, and the video's only short but it's relieving.

No one seems to know that it's him.

"He doing alright?"

Harper stills, recognizing the voice before turning around, and Nat seems to almost be surprised that she does as she adds, uncharacteristically tentative, "I'm sure Tony's looking out for him."

She knows that he is. He promised her he would, and whether he likes to admit it or not, Mr Stark actually likes Peter. The two of them are actually quite similar in many ways, and she knows that Mr Stark likes having someone idolize him like Peter does.

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him since Ross and his men dragged me out of the facility against my will."

She's blunt and cold and technically lying, but even if Nat knows that, she doesn't say anything about it.

"Clint told me what happened. I'm sorry that happened to you."

She scoffs dismissively, turning back to the monitor as the video finishes, "Sure you are."

"I thought you were working with Shuri today."

She keeps trying to strike up a conversation, and perhaps she should admire her determination, but she can't bring herself too. She doubts she'll ever be able to again.

"She's gone with T'Challa to collect a friend of theirs."

Shuri mentioned something about it yesterday. She said they wouldn't be gone for long and that she had free rein of the lab whilst she was gone. Saying that, Harper would've most definitely had used it even without Shuri's approval, but that's besides the point.

"When will they be back?"

"I don't need anyone. I can handle myself."

She knows when they'll get back. Shuri told her. She doesn't need her to come back though. She's more than capable of figuring this out on her own. She's get one of the smartest brains on the planet. She's sure she can figure it out.

Nat doesn't get that. She's not incapable. She can look after herself.

"I know you can."

No change in her heartbeat, yet Harper still doesn't buy it. She can't bring herself too. Not anymore.

"Is that why you bailed on me? Or was it because you were trying to save your own skin?" Harper questions, tone surprisingly calm as she strolls across the room, tapping at one of the screens absentmindedly.

"I didn't want to leave. I was trying to-."

"Keep me safe? Is that what you were gonna say?" Harper questions sharply, finally turning back to Nat despite her attempts at avoiding such an outcome, "It's not your job to protect me, Nat! And even if it was, you did a shit job at it! At least Mr Stark tried to fight for me!"

Mr Stark didn't completely bail on her. She knows that he tried to break her out of there. Even after everything that happened, even after she technically betrayed him, he still fought for her. Nat didn't. She didn't care.

"Harper, please, just le-."

"Let me explain? Is that what you were gonna say, Nat?" Harper interjects again, tone somehow even harsher than before, "Tell me why I should! Why should I listen to you, huh?!"

She's spiralling, which is the exact opposite of what she wanted to do, but she can't help it. She's pissed off.

"Your hands are glowing."

She hadn't noticed that before, and a quick glance down confirms Nat's statement. She had to check. She struggles to trust anything she says anymore.

She scoffs, fists clenching as she looks back at her, "I wonder why."

"I'm sorry I left without you. I thought you'd be safer with Tony."

And that's the issue exactly. Nat did what she thought was best, not what was best.

"That's the problem. You thought I'd be safer. You didn't give me the choice." Harper responds, voice shaky with barely contained rage, "It wasn't yours to make. It was supposed to be mine."

"Maybe you're right."

That's when she flies off the handle. It's such a simple statement to make, but it's what pushes her frustration over the boiling point.

"No! No, I know that I'm right! It wasn't your call to make, Nat! Why don't you get that?!"

"I do." Nat insists, and Harper scoffs indignantly.

"No you don't! Nobody gets it! Nobody listens to me!"

"What do you mean, Harper?"

Harper stills for just a second. She's been getting better at not thinking about what happened. It's self destructive. She knows how she feels about the whole situation, and she knows that there's no use in thinking about it now because she can't change anything. She knows that she shouldn't think about it, and she knows that Nat realizes precisely what she's talking about after a few moments.

She can see the guilt on her face.

"You all pretend to listen! Pretend to understand! If you all just stopped and listened to me in the first place then none of this would've happened!"

She tried. She tried so goddamn hard to prevent all of this, but she wasn't good enough. She couldn't do it. She couldn't get them to listen.

"We all did what we thought was best." Nat responds calmly, tone careful as she sees the light continue to shine, "I didn't want to make some of the choices that I did, but I did it for you. I was trying to keep as much of the team together as I could because I knew that the Accords were going to happen either way."

"So surely you knew what would happen to me then?"

She's done with all the bullshit. Nat's not stupid - far from it, in fact. She must've known what would have happened. She knew what Ross was capable of, and it was abundantly clear that he wasn't her biggest fan right from the offset.

To be fair, Harper couldn't stand him either, so perhaps she couldn't of expected anything less.

"I didn't, Harper. If I did-."

"You would've taken me with you? You would've worked out an agreement with Ross?" Harper interjects again, pausing for a moment before she asks, "Did you know?"

She doesn't have to elaborate further. Nat knows what she's talking about. She hears the way her heart jumps. She sees the hesitation on her face.

"I didn't know that you were in there."

She listens, and she's surprised when she can't detect a lie. She doesn't let that show. For her, it doesn't exactly change much.

"But you knew that the others were." Harper counters rhetorically, because she already knows that she did, "Steve spent all of his time planning a way to break us out of there. He had so much going on with Bucky and with what happened with Mr Stark, but he still tried. He didn't just give up on us."

That's the difference between Steve and Nat. Steve didn't just give up. He kept fighting, and for that reason, despite everything, he's still a hero to her just as he was before. She can't say the same for Nat.

"I was trying to protect you."

Harper still can't detect a lie, but yet, she can't bring herself to believe Nat. She can only manage a bitter remark in return, voice laced with contained anger and disappointment, "Do me a favor and don't try again."

"Harper, I-." Nat tries, tone teetering on the edge of being pleading and desperate, but Harper disregards that fact when the computer generated voice sounds from behind her.

"Neural scan complete."

She turns around in an instant, Nat forgotten, as her eyes scanning the screen for the data, trying to take in all the information all at once.

The computer's voice confirms her suspicions moments later.

"I've detected a decrease in the volume of the hippocampus along with significant trauma to the pre-frontal cortex."

"What is that?" Nat questions, tone concerned, though Harper can tell that she already knows what that is, or at least what it means.

"Nothing." Harper says dismissively, eyes narrowing as she looks at the data on the headset screen more closely, "Is that it?"

"I'm processing the last of the information. One moment."

Harper nods, though she doesn't know who too, and she takes a moment to consider what the scan picked up on. Now, she knows she's been through a lot. She may try to push it to the back of her mind most of the time, but she's not stupid. She knows that despite her mind being advanced, it's not immune to the effects of trauma.

She knows the effect that PTSD has to the average brain, and now she knows that hers is no exception. She had expected this, but something tells her that there's more to it than that. It always is with people like her.

"Harper, why are you-?" Nat asks, taking a step closer, hand reached out.

"I said that it's nothing!"

Nat stops when Harper yells. She's not scared, far from it, but she's apprehensive. She can't remember a time that she's heard Harper sound like that. She can't tell if she's more angry or scared or confused.

"There's varying degrees of damage to parts of the neocortex."

Harper thought that'd be the case, but it doesn't stop her from wincing when she hears it. That was what she was afraid of the most. Brain damage to any part of the brain is ideal, but she knows what can happen if the neocortex is damaged.

"Side effects?"

"None immediately though there is a high probability of development-."

"How long?"

She's even being rude to the computer now, but she doesn't care. She knew this would be a possibility - a highly likely one, in fact, but it doesn't make it any less unnerving to know that it's happening.

"It is impossible to tell at this stage." The A.I responds robotically, "Given the data, it may not be wise to proceed with-."

"Hey, Harper."

She instantly shuts off the headset, though she would've done so regardless of the interruption. She knows what the A.I was gonna say next, and even if everything was okay with Nat she wouldn't want her to know.

"Scott?"

The relaxed, happy-go-lucky, loveable Scott. The one person that never walks on eggshells around her (the others have gotten better at not doing that recently, but they still slip into old habits more often than they should). He pauses at the top of the stairs leading into the lab, looking around the room with a perplexed expression on his kind face.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asks, glancing between Harper and Nat questioningly, briefly catching eye contact with the older woman and catching a glimpse of her torn and hurt expression.

It recedes as soon as it arrives.

"No. It's nothing important." Harper responds quickly, removing the headset and turning to place it on the counter behind her as Nat tries to interject.

"Harper-."

"What's up, Scott?" Harper questions, turning back towards Scott as she completely ignores Nat's attempt for a conversation.

She's being rude - of course she is - but Scott either doesn't notice or he's too awkward to question her behavior as he casually asks, "I wanted to see if you wanted to go and get burgers. For lunch?"

"Lunch?" Harper asks, surprised, "What time is it?"

"12:30."

That doesn't add up. It was 7:00 when she got here. That was only like an hour ago. She hadn't realized she was in the lab for so long?

"You okay?" Scott asks, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she hastily nods back.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." Harper replies, switching the headset off and placing it down on the glass desk as she decides, "Let's go."

"Like right now?" Scott questions, surprised, "I can wait if-."

"No. Right now's good." Harper decides, teleporting hastily before Scott or anyone else can argue, except her plan doesn't go as intended. She drops to the ground like a sack of old potatoes, and she's fairly certain she hears a click or a crack or something when she hits the cold, hard tiles, grunting in pain as she does, "Shit!"

"Harper!" Nat rushes to her side, helping her to her feet with concerned eyes, "Are you okay? What happened?"

Harper shrugs her off as soon as she's back on her feet, ignoring the persistent pain in her side as she attempts to head for the stairs, trying not to sound as confused as she feels, "I'm fine. I just...just misjudged it."

That has to be it. She just didn't estimated her jump well enough. She's done it before - when she's been exhausted in the heat of a fight. It's not impossible. It can happen.

"Wait a second." Nat murmurs, carefully catching Harper's arm when she passes, the younger girl trying and failing to conceal a wince, "Your shoulder."

It's dislocated. She can feel it. She's lucky it's not broken given the fall. She used to think she was more durable than normal people, and maybe she technically is, but she can still break bones and almost bleed out. The only difference is that she's more likely to survive that stuff than most people.

"It's fine. I'll heal."

* * *

"Gotta say, Shuri was right about these cheeseburgers." Scott remarks, nodding to the half eaten cheeseburger on the plate in front of him, pausing to take a swig of his soda.

Harper nods back absentmindedly, adding, "Yeah. I do kinda miss In-N-Out though."

Her eyes are trained on the food in front of her, or at least the small amount of it that's left. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until they got to the restaurant. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that she skipped breakfast. Yeah, that's probably it.

She can't stop thinking about what happened in the lab. Sure, she's miscalculated her jumps before, but it hasn't happened like that in a long time. Besides, this time, Thor isn't around to catch her when she falls, which is not ideal considering the floor is solid marble. Stunning, but not exactly a nice surface to fall onto.

She knows that A.I.D.A.N wasn't wrong. She programmed him not to be. Sure, there's always a margin of error, but even then it wouldn't make his results inaccurate enough to make a significant difference. She knew something was off with her mind - it's complex and kinda messy and kinda like a powder keg. She just doesn't know what the match was. She also doesn't know if she can fix it.

"You could go, right?" Scott questions, unaware of her deep thoughts as he reaches for his burger again, "I mean, you can teleport anywhere in the world, right?"

She glances up at him, pulling herself from her deep and complex thoughts, shrugging, "I guess. I mean, it has it's limits."

"Like what?"

"I get tired and when that happens I can't teleport again for a while." She explains, "Plus I can sometimes end up in the wrong place if I don't concentrate enough."

Scott quirks an eyebrow, "Is that what happened back in the lab?"

He sounds intrigued, almost in awe. Sometimes she forgets how new Scott is to all of this. How he still idolizes Steve and Wanda occasionally even Sam and Clint and her. He just wants to understand how he fits into all of this. How a world full of Gods and Monsters and Superheroes works. She can't fault him for it.

"Sure." Harper lies. She doesn't know what happened back in the labs, and she's not gonna share her theories with Scott. She doesn't need to make him worry. "Besides, we're kinda wanted fugitives anywhere other than here, so I can't exactly go anywhere I want right now."

"Yeah, but if we weren't you could, right?"

"I could." She confirms with a nod, happy when a small smile of awe spreads across his face. It makes her smile too.

"And I would definitely go to In-N-Out. Or Taco Bell. I miss Baskin Robbins too."

"I don't." Scott remarks with a shudder, sighing when she gives him a perplexed look, "I worked there last year. Right after I got out of prison. It was awful."

"Surely it wasn't that bad." Harper says, hesitating when Scott gives her a look, shuddering again. She shrugs, "Well, at least you quit, right?"

"Nope. Got fired actually." Scott replies, adding when she looks at him stunned, "Yeah. They found my record."

"Baskin Robbins always finds out." Harper remarks sadly. She swears that they must have spies working for them or something. They always seem to find out. "You at least get to keep the hat?"

"Nope. Got a smoothie though."

"Mango Fruit Blast?" Harper questions, adding when Scott seems confused again, "They tried to do a brand deal with me last year. I said no, of course. I had a lot of shit going on."

That's a simple way of putting that she was messed up. She still is. She feels like she's running in an endless dark tunnel sometimes, which would be fine if she could teleport or fly in her mind, but she can't. She's just stuck running. Constantly running.

She can see the concern on Scott's face. It makes her wince.

"Plus I had a deal with Ben and Jerrys already. Thought it might look bad if I took a deal with another ice cream company, you know?" She says nonchalantly, providing a less dismal conclusion than before, and she's relieved when Scott seems to accept it.

"Oh, right! The uh...the Beacon Brownie Batter, right?" Scott questions, a wistful smile coming to his face, "Cassie loves the stuff! It's her favorite flavor!"

"You miss her?"

It's a redundant question. Of course he misses her. She's his daughter.

For a second, she worries that she might've upset him. That she might've crossed the line and actually made the Scott Lang sad.

"Yeah. A lot." He admits with a sigh. He doesn't sound sad, at least not fully, and she takes that as a reassurance. "She'd freak out if she knew I was with you right now. She's actually a huge fan."

"She is?" Harper questions, surprised.

He nods, "All she wanted last Christmas was your action figure. Her Mom caved and bought it cause she wouldn't stop talking about it."

"I didn't know that there's an action figure of me."

That's kinda cool. She never thought that there would be an action figure made of her. Then again, she is...was an Avenger. There was a time where people didn't want to hunt her down and lock her up in a cage like a lab rat.

"Maybe, when this is all over, I could meet her."

She says 'when' both for Scott's reassurance and her own. This all has to end. Sometimes she struggles to believe that - most of the time she struggles to believe that - but there has to be. Things have to go back to how they were at some point. A return to equilibrium.

"She'd love that. She would definitely start telling everyone that your best friends though, so be careful." Scott says with a light chuckle, eyes falling back on his food, and Harper can see that he's trying to hide.

He doesn't want her to feel bad.

"I'm sorry you got caught up in all of this, Scott." She says apologetically, adding when he looks back to her, "Really. This wasn't your problem to fix."

"Cap asked me to help. I mean, _the_ Captain America wanted my help! How could I possibly say no?" Scott questions, almost sounding like an excited child despite the circumstances. "Besides, Hank Pym always said that you can't trust a Stark."

She's heard him say that before and she conceals a wince. It's just another reminder that the people she cares about are on opposite sides of a pointless battle. And it doesn't matter which side wins because she's gonna lose someone regardless.

It's the textbook definition of a rock and a hard place.

They head back towards the palace soon after lunch, just in time to see T'Challa's jet landing on the runway. The two of them stop by the entrance to the palace, watching as T'Challa and Shuri approach, another woman working alongside them.

"Took your time." Harper jokes, smirking at her friend as they approach. Scott hangs back slightly as Harper walks up to the other teen, hugging her in greeting as she laughs back.

"Sorry, America. Not all of us can teleport." Shuri quips as she pulls back, falling back in line with her brother and the mystery woman to his their right.

Harper rolls her eyes at the use of the nickname, "You're never dropping that, are you?"

"Dropping what?" Shuri questions rhetorically, shrugging when Harper raises an eyebrow at her. She glances over at the mystery woman, nodding towards Harper, "Nakia, this is America. She also goes by Beacon and the Walking Flashlight."

"Shuri!" T'Challa chastises, shooting a look in his sisters direction before glancing apologetically in Harper's direction, "I apologize for Shuri's behaviour, Harper."

"I'm used to it." Harper admits, shrugging, adding with an eyebrow quirked, "Though, Walking Flashlight is a new one."

"I think it suits you." Scott comments, nodding, "I can see it."

Harper has to admit that it makes sense as a nickname, though she's not gonna admit that out loud. Shuri's already struggling to contain her laughter, and T'Challa already looks embarrassed enough in front of this Nakia woman.

"Harper, Scott." The King says diplomatically, dividing his attention equally between the two of them as he gestures to the woman, "I'd like you to meet Nakia. She's the leader of our Wakandan International Outreach Centre."

"She's also brother's girlfriend." Shuri adds with a smirk, unable to contain her laughter when her brother looks at her, horrified.

"Shuri!"

Shuri continues to laugh, especially when she sees the look on her brother's face, and even Nakia smirks when she sees him. Harper notices it before she stops, turning to her with a formal and kind expression on her face, a hand extended out to her in greeting.

"I understand that you served as an Avenger. I must say, I admire your courage. It's rare in people your age." Nakia says as Harper shakes her hand, adding with a quirked eyebrow as she pulls back, "I also hear that you can make your hands become...glow-sticks?"

Harper shoots an incredulous look at Shuri, "Glow sticks? Really?"

Shuri stifles her laughter as Nakia looks to Scott, speaking in the same well mannered tone as she offers her hand, "And it's nice to meet you too, Sc-."

"Scott. Scott Lang. Ant-Man." Scott interjects, excitedly shaking Nakia's hand in response, hastily adding as an afterthought, "I wasn't an Avenger, not officially or anything, but I helped. That might be why you might have not heard of me."

Harper notices the smirk that crosses Shuri's face at Scott's flustered expression, and even she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it funny. Scott's too awkward for his own good sometimes, and he really doesn't need to be because he's literally a freaking superhero and one of the funniest people that she knows. She's fairly certain that Nakia will like him whether he's Ant-Man or not.

"It is a pleasure to meet you both." Nakia says, glancing between the two of them with a smile, before glancing over at T'Challa with the same smile.

He smiles and nods back to her before turning, catching eye contact with someone behind them and nodding in recognition, "Okoye."

Harper jumps at the sudden arrival of the warrior woman beside her, spear on hand as per usual. She's not afraid of the spear itself, but what Okoye could do with it sure does scare her. She still doesn't really understand the woman well enough to trust her with a spear in her hands.

Nakia begins to follow Okoye inside, exchanging a small greeting in their native tongue, and Shuri begins to trail behind the two women, catching Harper's arm as she passes, "Any luck?"

She knows she's referencing the headset. Shuri knows about it, though Harper chose to keep some details to herself. Shuri doesn't need to fully understand why she needs it.

Harper shrugs back, "Getting there. Just needs some time."

Shuri nods back before rushing after Nakia and Okoye. Harper knows she wants to ask more, but she reckons she'll ask later. When there's less people around to here. Shuri knows she doesn't like to talk about her projects often.

"That woman still scares me." Scott murmurs with a shiver, eyes watching Okoye as she leads the other two women inside.

"I thought I was the only one."

"Yes, well, Okoye can have that effect." T'Challa remarks wistfully, his two guests flushing red, previously having forgotten that he was even there. Maybe they shouldn't be talking about one of his guards behind his back.

T'Challa notices their reactions and chuckles lightly to himself, reassuring them both that it's quite alright before turning to Scott in particular, "Scott, I'm happy to tell you that we are making progress on the deal for you and Clint."

"You are?" Scott asks, somehow perking up even more so as the monarch says that.

T'Challa nods, smiling, "Yes. We hope to see you both back with your families by the end of the next month."

Scott beams at the good news, glancing between both T'Challa and Harper excitedly. The latter smiles lightly back at him, genuinely pleased for him. Scott could do with a break, arguably him more than anyone. He didn't ask for any of this.

"I'll go tell Clint!"

The two of them watch with smiles as Scott practically sprints inside the palace, almost running into the glass doors as he struggles to pull them open in a rush. It makes Harper laugh, especially when all the guards posted by the door look at him like he's mad.

"And how have you been, Harper?"

"Me?" She questions as she turns back to the King, surprised that he's asking. That's not to say that T'Challa isn't a caring person - he wouldn't have illegally sheltered them in his country if he wasn't - but he doesn't really know her well enough to be obligated to actually care about her. Maybe it's because she's friends with Shuri.

"Oh, I uh...I've been okay. Yeah, I've been fine."

A lie. A bear-faced lie. She has good days, but the ratio of good to bad almost always leans more in the favor of the latter. And today has most definitely been a bad day, well, minus her lunch with Scott. That part was good.

"You remind me so much of Shuri." T'Challa remarks with a light chuckle, smiling to himself. That's not the first time she's heard that comparison - Clint picked up on how similar the two of them are a few days ago.

 _"Two smart asses."_ was his exact wording. It actually made her laugh despite herself.

She doesn't know how he's seeing the similarity right now, but she doesn't question it as he says.

"Come with me. I want to show you something."

She follows him, more so out of curiosity than anything. Well, that and she doesn't exactly want to disrespect a King.

Besides, it didn't sound like an offer or a question, and who is she to question a King?


	19. 19

"The last time I was in this cave, I was being chased by armed guards." Harper remarks, tentatively following T'Challa through the all too familiar cavern.

She doesn't understand why they've come here. The place doesn't look like it has anything special about it, well other than it's complex layout. She struggled to find her way out the last time because of the amount of tunnels.

The memories she has of this cave aren't necessarily bad - they're more odd than anything - but she feels uneasy. Maybe it's because she doesn't know where they're going. Saying that, she does trust T'Challa.

Even if she didn't, she could probably kick his ass. She's making that plan Z.

"They all said you gave them quite the challenge. They didn't think that you'd be so fast." T'Challa replies, impressed, and Harper shrugs back.

"Yeah, well, it's not super speed or anything. Scientists tried to get that one to work and they couldn't hack it."

It's on the list, but she crossed it out since HYDRA couldn't unlock it. She still has the list - well, not officially, since the file is encrypted back...back home - but she memorized it. It's buried somewhere in the back of her mind.

It's probably better that way. No one can exploit if it's inaccessible, including herself. She'd have to work through the rest of the stuff in her head first.

"So you haven't been back here since that day?" T'Challa questions, briskly changing the subject as they turn the corner down yet another tunnel, though this one is more well lit than the previous.

"Nope." Harper shakes her head, "I've been busy."

T'Challa nods, and Harper appreciates that he doesn't pry, "It is a shame that you never came back. There's more to this place than meets the eye."

"Like wha-?"

The question answers itself as they reach the end of the current tunnel, spilling out into a much larger room. It looks recently constructed - or reconstructed, she can't really tell - and almost sacred. As if it has an importance that can't be put into words.

She looks around tentatively, almost feeling like she's intruding on something just by looking around the room. It looks kinda like a garden, except far more elegant and regal and euphoric.

"What is this place?" She asks, looking around in a suspended state of awe.

"The gardens where we grow and nurture the Heart-Shaped Herb." T'Challa responds, coming to a halt beside a small soil bed, and Harper looks at him inquisitively.

"Heart-Shaped Herb?"

"It is consumed by whomever ascends to the throne of Wakanda. It is what makes the Black Panther." He explains. He kneels down beside the soil bed, reaching out and touching the soil beneath his fingertips. "Long ago, Bashenga, a warrior shaman and my ancestor, received a vision of the herb from Bast."

"I think Shuri mentioned Bast to me before." Harper remarks, thinking back to a previous conversation she had with her friend, "The Panther Goddess, right?"

"The Heart-Shaped Herb and its gifts have been passed down through generations. Preserved and worshipped and protected. It is a beautiful part of who we are." T'Challa explains, eyes remaining fixed on the soil bed, as if he's entranced by it. "It wasn't long ago when we almost lost the herb. An integral part of our history and culture, of what we believe in, was almost gone in the blink of an eye. Thankfully, Nakia managed to save a single herb amongst all of the destruction, allowing us to later rebuild for the future and preserve our culture."

"That's pretty cool."

She cringes as soon as she says it. T'Challa just revealed a massive part of his heritage and culture, and all she could muster was 'that's pretty cool'? She feels like she's being massively disrespectful, but there's not much she can do about it. She hasn't exactly been good with words recently.

T'Challa, thankfully, doesn't seem to pick up on it. Either that or he gracefully chooses to ignore it.

He turns back to her, small smile on his face as he asks, "Aren't you going to ask why I'm showing you all of this?"

"I assumed that you were gonna tell me."

"You really do remind me of Shuri." He admits with a laugh. He stands, beginning to walk down the singular stone platform that runs down the middle of the chamber, and Harper follows quietly behind him. "Sometimes, we come dangerously close to losing everything that we hold dear, and it puts everything into perspective from then on out. Even if you can only save a small part of what you had, you should still treasure and hold onto it. Even if you don't want to at first, you should give it a chance."

She pauses, quirking an eyebrow at him, "Did Nat put you up to this?"

"Surprisingly, no." He responds, adding after he looks at her for a moment, "You're checking that I'm telling the truth, aren't you?"

She recoils back, expression instantly shifting as her face flushes red. How did he even know she was listening? Maybe she's not as inconspicuous as she thought she was.

"Sorry." She murmurs sheepishly, but he just smiles again, quickly changing the subject.

"That is not the only reason I wished to show you this place." He explains, "Often, when I become overwhelmed, I like to come here."

"You do?" She asks, surprised.

She's not surprised that he chooses here to come to, rather than the fact that he has to at all. He seems so well put together, so in control. He's a King, after all.

"It's quiet. Peaceful. And it serves as a reminder of who I am and the legacy I am proudly continuing on. This place likely won't serve the same role for you, but I recommend finding something that does. Whether that's a place or a person or an idea, find it and latch onto it. Use it to ground you." He explains wisely, Harper listening intently to each and every word. She knows what T'Challa's trying to say. "If you cannot find that for yourself, I'd be honored if you used this place for such a purpose."

She's flattered. Happy. She's grateful that he cares enough to share this with her. That he's trying to help but he's not trying to push her to talk to him or a therapist or anyone else. He's trying to nudge her into a safe space. A place where she can be free from everything else.

Sure, she doesn't know if it'll work, because so far nothing really has, but she appreciates his attempt. She appreciates the way he's trying.

"Thank you, T'Challa."

"There is no need to thank me, Harper. It is the least I could do." He responds humbly, pausing for a moment as she analyzes the room briefly.

She has to admit, it's pretty beautiful.

"May I ask you something?"

"Sure." She says, continuing to look around as he asks,

"That day in Vienna, you almost went after Zemo, thinking that it was Sergeant Barnes, but you stopped. Why did you?"

She pauses, caught off guard by his question. She was expecting him to ever mention Vienna. Not after what happened. Not after what he lost there.

She considers an answer for a moment before settling on one.

"Because people needed my help."

"And why do you help them?"

"Because I can...because I could." She responds, faltering for a moment when she has to correct herself. She can't exactly help people anymore. Not now that she's hiding from the world. "W-why'd you ask?"

"I just wanted to make sure."

Harper quirks an eyebrow, "Make sure of what?"

"That Miss Romanoff was right."

Harper scoffs, "I wouldn't trust what she says, if I were you."

She doesn't understand why he would trust her. Then again, it's not like she bailed on him. She never really had any allegiance towards him to back out on. She reckons it's only a matter of time before she finds a way to.

"She said that you were pure of heart despite what the rest of the world may think." He responds, "That you always try to do the right thing. That you always want to."

"That doesn't sound like Nat." Harper says questioningly. That really doesn't sound like her. Maybe the second part, but definitely not the first.

"Well, I paraphrased somewhat, but the point still stands." T'Challa admits, "She thinks very highly of you."

"I used to be able to say the same for her." She responds, turning away from him to face the soil beds, "It's sorta a culture shock when every single person you used to idolize turns out to be flawed."

"Aren't we all?"

"They weren't to me!" She argues back, pausing to take a breath as she regrets her harsh tone. T'Challa doesn't say anything about it, even when she turns back to face him, "That's not to say I don't love them, because I do, but it-."

"I understand." T'Challa interjects politely, "I know what it's like for everything you believe in to be challenged and tested. I understand the pain it can cause."

Yeah. So does she. It hurts more than she'd like to admit. More than she will admit.

"I'm over it."

It's a lie. She's not. She most definitely isn't. She's been trying to get over it, to move on from what they had. From the family and team they had built. From the safety and comfort and home she had found.

He doesn't say anything again.

"Thank you again. For Vienna." He says suddenly, catching her off guard again, "You stayed to pull people out of the rubble and destruction that Zemo had caused. You took their pain so they wouldn't have to suffer."

"I just want to do the right thing." She admits, "I always did."

That's all she ever wanted. She wanted to keep things together and help people and prevent every single bad thing that happened, and she tried as hard as she could but it still wasn't enough. She wasn't enough.

And now she can't even fix it.

* * *

When she realized they were going into hiding, she figured she'd have to give up the luxuries of a normal life. The ability to leave the building she's living in and freely roam the streets - well, fly above the streets in her case - would be lost. She knew she'd likely have to relocate a lot - it hasn't happened yet, but she knows it's only a matter of time. She knows they can't hide in Wakanda forever.

Another thing she knew she'd have to sacrifice was being able to have a social life. Being an Avenger gave her a certain level of fame that she both enjoyed and despised, and it gave her the opportunity to become quite a social butterfly despite everything that was going on. It's kinda hard to maintain such a social standing when you're watching from the shadows, however.

So when T'Challa informed her and the rest of the team (if they can even call themselves that anymore) about the celebratory banquet being held the following evening, it's safe to say she was surprised. Of course, only residents of Wakanda who already knew of their presence were put on the guest list, but it's still something new.

It's to celebrate Nakia's success with the Wakanda Outreach Program. Shuri told him to just take her on date, but T'Challa insisted on holding a big celebration for her success.

Harper reckons he's already taken on that date regardless.

"You alright?" Wanda asks her, falling in step beside her as they walk down the long corridor leading to the banquet room.

It's located right at the top of the palace. T'Challa said it had the best view of the Golden City.

The others are further ahead, all dressed formally for the occasion. Outfits all borrowed, of course. None of them had the time to pack their best outfits before everything kicked off. They're out of earshot. Unless one of them has developed enhanced senses like her, though she doubts it.

"Yeah." Harper responds, nodding, "Why wouldn't I be?"

She sees the look Wanda gives her out of the corner of her eye and rolls her eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Wanda questions, expression softening when she recognizes the sincerity in the other girls voice, "This is weird, isn't it?"

"No." Harper responds, adding when Wanda looks at her with confusion, "We're weird. This is...different."

"Different?"

"Different to being locked up in a cell and experimented on like a lab rat." Harper replies, "Different to hiding away from the world."

"Good different?" Wanda questions as they catch up to the others, joining them as they all head inside the banquet hall.

"I'll get back to you on that one."

They head inside then, joining the small crowd of smartly dressed guests that are already waiting inside. T'Challa notices the group's arrival, politely excusing himself from his current conversation before strolling across the hall to greet them, stopping in front of them with a polite smile.

"Good evening, everyone. I'm delighted that you could all be in attendance this evening." He says, eyes filtering across the entire group as he extends a hand out to Steve, who accepts it and shakes back.

"It's a privilege, Your Highness."

"We've discussed this, Captain."

"Sorry." Steve responds apologetically, pulling his hand back as he straightens out his tie, "Kinda hard to shake it."

T'Challa laughs politely, reassuring Steve once again before directing his attention towards the second person leading the group, exchanging a polite nod in her direction, "Miss Romanoff."

The two begin to engage in small talk - the kind you usually have to give when you attend these kind of things - but Harper doesn't hang around to listen to it. Spotting Shuri at the side of the room, she slips away from the group and heads in her direction, coming to stand alongside her as she notices her arrival.

"America." She greets casually, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small device, "And genius has struck again."

Harper quirks an eyebrow at her, "Mine or yours?"

"Mine. As usual." Shuri states matter-of-factly as Harper laughs, reaching out and taking the device from her.

"Whatever you say, Shuri." Harper jokes as she puts the device in place behind her ear, "We all know who the smarter one is out of the two of us."

"I can see why you wanted the upgrade. That headset's too bulky to be even remotely practical." Shuri replies, "But why did you need my help?"

She had asked Shuri if she could develop the upgrade to the headset - a far smaller, self contained piece of apparatus that would make it easy to operate. Shuri had her schematics to work from, of course, but Shuri still put it all together.

"I need to get out of that lab once in a while." Harper admits, shuddering slightly at the thought, "Otherwise I'm gonna go crazy."

"Aren't we already at that point?" Shuri questions, hesitating after the fact as she asks, uncharacteristically hesitant, "Too soon?"

"Too real." Harper responds with another shudder, scoffing when she notices the cautious look Shuri's giving her, "Relax, okay? I'm not gonna spontaneously combust, so you can stop looking at me like I'm gonna."

Shuri shrugs, leaning back against the wall, "I don't know, America. You've got a lot of pent up energy."

"I've got my ways of dealing with it." Harper counters, "And before you ask, no, it's not violent."

"I wasn't going to!"

"The way your heart rate spiked suggests otherwise."

Shuri quirks an eyebrow at her, shaking her head, "You know, it still creeps me out that you can do that."

"Sorry." Harper responds sheepishly, "Sometimes it just happens subconsciously."

Shuri laughs, "On the bright side, you'll be able to crack safes quite easily."

"I wouldn't need to." Harper responds, adding when Shuri looks at her bemused, "Teleportation."

"Oh, right!"

Harper chuckles, "You still think you're the smarter one?"

Shuri shrugs, turning out to face the crowd of mingling guests moving casually around the banquet hall, "At least we're smarter than the rest of them."

Maybe that's true, but intelligence isn't everything. Being a genius doesn't mean you can stop bad things from happening or that everything goes well all the time. In fact, it's the exact opposite. At least in Harper's own experience.

"How are the rest of your team?" Shuri asks her, changing the subject, "I assume brother told you all of the good news."

Harper nods, smiling slightly, "Scott was ecstatic. Clint tried to play it off, but I could tell he was too. It's really good news."

"Brother and his correspondents have been working around the clock. It's made him a bit of a grouch, actually." Shuri jokes, grinning.

Harper laughs, nudging her arm as she nods in T'Challa's direction, "You gotta give him some credit. He's had to put up with all of us for over a month now."

"Oh, yeah." Shuri nods in agreement, "You're an absolute nightmare. Everyone else is fine, but you're just the wors-!"

"I knew you'd say that!" Harper scoffs, striking the older girl lightly in the arm before composing herself, asking, "Are we actually that bad?"

"No." Shuri admits, laughing, "It's nice to have someone around that actually understands what I'm talking about for a change."

"But what about your lab assistants?"

"They understand what I tell them. They don't see the wider perspective like we do." Shuri responds, sighing, "Besides, it's nice to have a friend."

Harper smiles, "You know, I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

It's weird. Right now, things sorta feel normal. Or at least as normal they can be when you're a teenage girl with superpowers. She has her family - or at least part of it - and she can see the content and relieved looks on their faces as they mingle amongst the guests at the banquet. In that instant, they look like they don't have a care in the world.

It's nice. Different, but nice. Kinda makes her forget about everything that went drastically wrong.

"Do you hear that?"

Shuri quirks an eyebrow at her, confused, "Hear what?"

It draws closer, and she realizes what it is a few moments before it happens, and she's running from the corner to the middle of the banquet hall, eyes fixed on the large glass window, more specifically whose standing right in front of it, blissfully unaware of the impending danger just outside.

"Everybody get down!"

She grabs ahold of Nat just before the blast goes off, teleporting to the furthest corner of the room that she can reach, re-emerging in a room of smoke and screams. She can hear multiple hearts racing and the sound is almost deafening, but she pushes through it just as she pushes through the smoke, hands sparking alive as she reaches the shattered window.

"Harper, stop!"

She ignores the shouts as she flies out of the window, hands flaring angrily as she scans the sky for the source, unsurprised when she finds more than one.

She blasts two of them down without hesitation, watching as the carcasses of the drones plummet down to the street below, her sights instantly set on the third. She teleports behind it, tearing it to shreds before it can fire up a second shot and tossing the damaged pieces to the ground.

She turns back towards the smashed window, and it's only when she sees that everyone she cares about is still breathing that she finally feels like she can breathe again.

* * *

"No cameras. We're good."

There's a collective sigh of relief in the room when Clint steps back from the dismantled drone because it means that what they were all afraid of thankfully didn't happen. No cameras means that whoever called the attack couldn't have been aiming for them, meaning that the fact that they're all here is still a secret.

"You alright?" Shuri questions, glancing over at Harper out of the corner of her eye.

"Just missed." Harper responds, Shuri noticing the way the younger girl is fixated on the shattered drone, "Already told you - I can cheat death. Think I've tapped into immortality."

"Or ultimate luck."

Harper doesn't argue back, eyes remaining fixed on the drone, and Shuri follows the younger girl's line of sight, trying to figure out what she's looking at in particular. She can't see anything of note.

"So, it doesn't seem they were looking for us." Steve says, relieved.

"And do we have any idea who 'they' are?" Nat questions, eyes filtering around the group, and Nakia's the one who provides her with an answer, stepping forward from alongside T'Challa.

"Associates of Klaue, mercenaries."

Realization hits some of them sooner than others, but it doesn't take long for all of them to realize why this must've happened. If it wasn't for them, then there's only really one logical explanation. People really want to get ahold of Wakandan technology. After all, it's lightyears ahead of anything else currently in development across the globe.

"We knew this was a possibility when we revealed ourselves to the world." T'Challa admits hauntingly, "I just didn't assume an assassination would be the way they'd go about it."

So they were aiming for T'Challa. Take down the leader to try and establish a new order. Poke holes in the system so you can take advantage of its weaknesses. After all, any country would in crisis if it lost one of it's beloved leaders.

Whoever enacted the plan, however, didn't take into account the other variables, and thank God that they didn't otherwise there might be one less monarch stood in the room right now.

"How'd they even get in?" Sam questions, clearly confused and frustrated, "I mean, this place has a literal forcefield surrounding it at all times. How could these things even slip through?"

"Cloaking tech."

Everyone's eyes fall on Harper as she speaks up, pushing off from the wall and advancing over to the drone, reaching out to touch it when no one objects.

"They didn't exactly hide it well. Especially if you know where to look." She murmurs, reaching out to grab the particular piece and yanking it off the drone carcass, holding it under the light, "It's most definitely stolen."

"How do you know?"

"Because I developed it." Harper says, placing the piece back onto the table as she turns back to the others, trying to shrug off the shocked expressions on their faces, "Well, it was me and Mr Stark. Last year. We were trying to improve the cloaking tech on the QuinJet, actually. Didn't think it'd come back to bite us in the ass."

"Hey!"

Harper rolls her eyes at Steve's scolding shout, and without a glance she can tell that she's not the only one. She's lucky he didn't hear her when the shots started coming in. He wouldn't have approved of 90% of the stuff she was yelling.

"How could someone have gotten ahold of your tech, kid?" Clint asks.

"Mr Stark sold it off to some companies."

"Of course he did!"

"I fully consented. All the profits went to NGO's. I signed off the documents myself." Harper explains, fending off the disapproving looks on both Clint and Sam's faces. "Besides, the companies were all fully background checked, and part of their contract was that they couldn't sell it off again."

"You think people actually stick to contracts these days, kid?" Clint questions, and Harper shrugs.

"It seemed like a sound idea at the time."

Definitely not her best decision, but probably not her worst either. Hindsight is a damning thing though.

"They must've slipped in when brother and Nakia came back and remained hidden with the cloaking tech." Shuri concludes, glancing down at the drone with the same analytical look as Harper had before.

Harper turns towards her friend, nodding in agreement, "My thought exactly."

"Can you figure out where the drones came from?" Steve asks, glancing between the two teen geniuses, both of them coming to the same conclusion.

"No."

If they could, they would've already tried to by now. It would've been their first concern, in fact.

"There's no tracing it if we can't figure out who bought the cloaking tech." Harper explains, turning towards Steve apologetically, "I'm sorry. I never should've built the stupid thing."

She expects Steve to rush and try to make her feel better, because that's usually what he does, except he's not the one who does.

"It's not your fault, Harper." Nat says, tone reassuring, "You couldn't have known. You were just trying to help."

She seems to regret it as soon as she says it, almost like she's waiting to be shot down by Harper or even by one of the others for saying it, but surprisingly no one does.

"She's right." Wanda agrees, "This one's not on you."

Harper smiles appreciatively at the older girl, though it's short lived when she feels Shuri walk up alongside her, hand reaching out for the cloaking device, sending her into a state of panic.

"Don't touch it!" Harper yells, frantically snatching the device up and away from her friend, much to the confusion of everyone else in the room, "There's a live current running through it. It won't kill you, but it'll hurt like a bitch."

"How can you touch it then?"

Shuri seems to be vocalizing the question on all of their minds, and Harper doesn't miss the shared look they're all giving her.

"Because, my body acts like a transformer." She explains, elaborating when she sees that half of them still look lost, "I realized after HYDRA had me. I can convert the electrical energy if I focus enough. Make it safe. I couldn't take a lightning strike, but it means I can withstand more than most people."

"That's what you meant earlier." Shuri remarks, realization dawning on her face, and Harper nods. "You said it wasn't dangerous."

"I said it wasn't violent." Harper argues, "There's a difference."

"Wait, I have a question." Scott says suddenly, raising his hand, and Harper turns towards him, eyebrow quirked, "Can you talk to animals too? Cause I'd love to talk to a dolphin."

Now, Scott's said some strange and out of place stuff before. He tends to say something along those lines in most conversations, in fact, but this is a new kind of weird.

"Are you alright?" Nat questions, concerned.

"Yeah." Scott sighs, hand pressed firmly to the side of his temple, eyes shutting momentarily as he winces, "Think I might've hit my head when I got tackled to the ground."

"Did save your life, Tic Tac." Sam says, shrugging, "A mild concussion is a win here."

That's true. Getting out of this kind of thing with just a mild concussion is a downright miracle.

"We are all incredibly lucky. No one was hurt, and repairs are already underway on the damage that those drones caused." T'Challa agrees, looking around the room solemnly, "I am just sorry that the evening was ruined."

"So are we." Steve agrees, "I understand this was important to you."

"I did tell him that being home itself was more than enough." Nakia remarks, adding to the rest of the group, "Though I also apologize for how the evening ran it's course. It is not what any of us were expecting."

"That's one way of putting it." 

"I think I just need to lay down." Scott says tiredly, "Yeah. A nap should do it."

"We gotcha, Tic Tac." Sam says, clapping him on the back and nodding over at Clint, "You wanna help, Barton?"

"Yeah." Clint says, reaching over and wrapping one of Scott's arms around his shoulders as Sam grabs the other, "Let's go, Tic Tac."

The two of them lead Scott out of the room, the others all sharing a suspicious glance. Clint and Sam helping Scott? Not likely.

"I'll go with them." Wanda decides.

"Thanks, Wanda." Steve says.

Wanda nods at him; she turns to Harper, giving her a small reassuring smile before heading for the door, the rest of the group soon beginning to disperse. T'Challa and Nakia leave hand in hand, the former shaking Steve's hand and apologizing once again before departing. 

"Tomorrow, you're telling me all about your cloaking tech." Shuri decides, turning towards Harper, "You got that, America?"

Harper quirks an eyebrow, smirking, "You sure you'll be able to understand it?"

"Knew you'd say that." Shuri responds, nudging the younger girl before heading for the door, calling back to her, "We both know I'm smarter than you!"

Harper scoffs, rolling her eyes playfully as Shuri leaves through the door, leaving just Steve, her and Nat left in the room. She turns towards the former with tired eyes, and he looks over her with a reassuring smile.

"You alright?" He asks, and she nods.

"Just tired. I think I'm gonna get some sleep." She replies, walking past him on her way to the door, and he nods back, giving her shoulder a small reassuring squeeze as she passes.

She's actually exhausted. That'd be the more accurate description. It's been a long day.

She only stops because someone latches onto her arm, and she knows even before she turns around that it's not Steve.

"Thank you." Nat says, tone genuine and grateful, "For what you did."

Harper shrugs, "I wasn't gonna let it hit you if I could do something about it."

What's happened didn't matter in that moment. She wouldn't of let those shots hit anyone. Hell, Ivan probably could've been stood there and she would've still saved him. She's not a killer; even if she hadn't fired the shots, in her eyes the deaths would've been on her if she let them hit their intended targets.

"Are you alright?"

She sounds genuinely concerned. It's almost deceptive. Familiar. Comforting.

As much as she wants to, she can't bring herself to trust her tone. Not again.

"I'm not dead." She responds, shrugging again, "Are you?"

She hadn't meant to ask, but it's almost habit. Etiquette, even. 

Nat seems surprised that she's asked. Happy. 

She smiles slightly, nodding, "Everyone is. Thanks to you."

Harper nods back, casting a quick glance over at Steve before she rushes out of the room, because she knows that there's a chance this is gonna develop into a conversation that she's not willing or ready to have.

Besides, it's been a really long day.


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper pays a visit to Tony again for the first time in a while, and she receives an unexpected phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Back again with another chapter!
> 
> I've got an important question for you all. What character in the MCU would you guys love to see her interact with? Even if she's interacted with them before (i.e. Bruce), who would you like to see her interact with again or for the first time? I'm really curious to know what you guys think, so I'd love if you guys could leave some responses in the comments below.
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Enjoy the chapter everybody and stay safe! :)

"So you got yourself impaled by a blast that you were anticipating and caused yourself?" Tony questions, eyebrow quirked at the kid opposite, "I'm surprised the tech actually worked."

"You could try and have a little faith in me, Mr Stark." Harper scoffs, shrugging him off, "I can actually use my brain, you know?"

"Yet you still almost get yourself killed twice a week on average." He chides, reclining back into his seat, and Harper rushes to conceal a grimace.

No, he doesn't know about what happened on the night of the banquet, and no, he won't be finding out. Not only does she not exactly what to think or talk about it right now, but she knows what kind of conversation that could lead to. One including him scrutinizing the way Steve and the others are looking after her, followed by questions of how it happened and what the next move is.

Long story short, it's better for everyone else if he's kept out of it.

Besides, visiting Mr Stark is supposed to be a form of escape from everything else going on. A small glimpse of how things used to be. A small part of normality. A chance to talk about the tech that she's been developing, obviously leaving out key details such as who she's been developing it with and where they've been working. Some things are better left unsaid.

Reaching into the brown paper bag beside his chair, he pulls out two objects wrapped tightly in foil, holding the two up in front of her, "What one do you want?"

"What have you got?" Harper asks, assessing her options.

"Chicken or beef."

"Chicken."

"You can have beef. I want chicken." He decides, tossing the package in his left hand to her before reclining back into his chair again, beginning to unwrap his meal as she mirrors his actions, "I still can't believe Cap never fed you shawarma. What did you even eat this past year?"

"You talking about the times I was held captive or the times I was here?" Harper questions, half jokingly, hesitating when she sees the look on his face, "Too soon?"

"That's your call to make, kid." He replies, taking a bite before asking, "Seriously, why haven't you had shawarma before?"

"I mean, I didn't even know it was a thing until about ten minutes ago." She replies, shrugging,

Tony scoffs, rolling his eyes, "God, I never should've left you with them."

"Why did you?" Harper questions, catching him off guard. She sighs, "Don't get me wrong, Steve and the others are great, and they took care of me well, even if they never fed me shawarma or anything, but..."

"Why didn't things stay the same?"

She nods, "Yeah."

She thinks about it sometimes. She didn't realize it at the time, but for that short period of time, things we what she would call perfect. Things were good, nothing astronomically bad had happened, and they were still all together. The changes were small at first - Thor leaving, new home, etcetera etcetera. But then they became more drastic, more sudden, and by that point it was too late.

"Because life doesn't work that way. It'd be boring if nothing changed."

"But sometimes change is bad." Harper counters, "Sometimes change is what makes things spiral and fall apart."

She sees the way his expression changes. She knows what she's talking about. He understands what it's like too. She knows he's been there.

"It was my time to tap out, kid." He admits, "Besides, I thought you preferred Cap and Romanoff anyway."

"You did?" She asks, surprised, "I thought you were all cool for different reasons."

He must've known that she thought they were all cool. They were the Avengers. She thought they were all awesome for individual reasons, and for a while, at least in her eyes, they could do no wrong.

"Even Barton?"

"Even Clint." She nods, "I thought the world of you guys. You guys made me feel like I had a home again."

He sighs, half sincere and half joking, "Well, sorry we ended up disappointing you, kid."

"You didn't." She replies, surprise crossing his face. She can't blame him - it's not exactly what she was expecting to hear, and she was the one who said it. Then again, they do say it's possible to surprise even yourself.

"Everything that happened...it wasn't because of you guys. You all wanted to do what you all thought was best. You and Steve wanted to keep the team together in your own ways; Rhodey, Vision and Sam were following what they knew and understood; Wanda wanted to have a choice, and Nat..."

She falls short, because she doesn't really know how to explain what Nat did. Maybe it's because there isn't an explanation, or maybe it's because she keeps refusing to see one, but she can't do it.

So he fills in the blanks instead.

"She wanted to protect you."

Harper scoffs, taking a bite out of her shawarma, "Yeah, well, that didn't exactly pan out."

"You've made an impact on her, kid." He responds, noticing the incredulous look she gives him, "I'm serious. Romanoff's a spy. They're trained to be like robots. Not let emotion control their choices."

"She didn't. She left me." Harper replies, shrugging, "I think that's about as robotic as it gets."

If Nat really cared, if she really, _really_ cared, she wouldn't have left. She wouldn't have left her there to be taken, or she at least would've taken her along with her. She would've done _something_. Anything. More than what she did.

"You know she called me six times when we went to collect our new ally?" He asks suddenly in between bites of his shawarma, "She wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Why didn't she just call me?"

"Because you're an angsty teenager who complains at the slightest inconveniences." He responds, shrugging when she gives him a deadpan expression, "Just saying it how it is, kid."

"She still left."

"Because Ross was coming after her."

She pauses, brow furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean? Why...when was he-?"

He scoffs, hand coming up to rub the side of his face exasperatedly, "Of course they didn't tell you."

"Didn't tell me what?"

"How do you think Cap out? She let him and Barnes get away back in Leipzig. Even got in T'Challa's way when he tried to stop them." He explains, almost as if it's the obvious answer. "Believe it or not, master assassins can have soft spots. She wouldn't have left you if she had a choice."

Harper pauses for a moment, considering his words and what they mean. She doesn't understand why they never told her. Why they would keep that kind of key information from her. It's not like it's harmful, sure it could make her spiral, but not in a harmful way, and it probably would've made things a lot clearer and fill in the blanks and...

"Why are you defending her?" She asks, "Didn't she lie to you?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." He responds, shrugging, as he leans forward in his seat and looks at her intently, "I know that she cares about you, kid. You're a total pain in the ass and you can be quite financially taxing, but she still cares."

Everyone keeps telling her that - well, she says everyone, but it's mostly Nat herself and Steve and Clint, and she knows that Steve's only saying it because he's trying to keep the peace. Part of her really wants to believe it, because maybe if she does they'll be able to return to something similar to how things were, but she can't bring herself too no matter how much she tries.

Even with the new information, it's hard to trust Nat again.

* * *

She's had this thought on her mind since she got back from her secret trip to see Mr Stark earlier in the afternoon. It should be easy enough to just push it from her mind, except for the fact that hers is constantly hyperactive, and even when it's not she's convinced that it's damaged enough that it's becoming increasingly difficult for her to avoid hyper fixation. The scans indicated that, among other things.

Still, she's been struggling to shake it. This persistent thought that something's about to happen. Sure, stuff has been happening, and part of her is relieved because it's given her something to focus on, even if that thing is narrowly escaping death. But this feels different. She can tell.

She's back in the lab again, despite knowing that she's been spending far too much time in there. That's not to say that she doesn't like being in there, because she does since she can get away from everything else when she is, but she does spend an awful lot of time in there.

The chairs are pretty comfy though.

She's alone, the only thing there to accompany her being the sound of machines beeping and the noise of an occasional Maglev Train whoosing past. It's almost eerie, but it's also peaceful. It was empty when she came back, and she had thought about trying to find Shuri, but she ultimately decided against it.

Having the lab to herself has it perks. Helps her keep a clear head, or at least try to.

A new sound joins the small range present in the lab, this one being more distinctive than the others. She feels the vibration of it in her pocket, and when she pulls it out the sound amplifies, no longer muffled by the fabric.

It's a new sound because she's never actually heard it before. He's never actually used the number before.

"Pete?"

"Harper?" He questions, "Is that you?"

"Of course it's me! I'm the one who gave you the number!"

She told him it was for emergencies. A fail safe if he didn't know what to do. So whilst she's happy to hear from him, that happiness is short lived. There has to be a reason for his call, and the likelihood of it being a good one is relatively low.

"What happened, Pete?" She asks in a hushed and concerned tone, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes." He responds, hastily doubling back on himself, "I mean no! I mean, yeah, but-!"

"Slow down, Pete." She says calmly in a level tone, "Tell me what happened?"

He takes just a brief second to compose himself, and she hears him take a deep breath before beginning, tone rushed despite his attempts to calm it. "There were these guys, and they were robbing an ATM, and obviously I couldn't just let them-."

"Obviously." She chimes in, nodding her head despite the fact he can't see her. She doesn't entirely understand where he's going with this. Of course, it's great if he's stepped in to stop some petty thieves, even if he has gone against her advice to keep a low profile to do it.

She keeps the phone placed by her ear as she moves over to the nearest monitor, typing in some keywords as he continues to ramble about what happened, half excited and half frantic. The articles pop up first, a video of the crime scene there to accompany it, and it's an understatement to say that she's shocked by what the videos show.

"What happened to the deli?!"

It's up in flames. Well, it would've been at the time. She can see the frightened deli owner in the corner of the shot, talking to some police officers with distress clearly visible across his face. She doesn't understand how Peter and a couple of petty robbers could cause such a scene.

"That's the thing! These guys had these crazy weapons right!" He exclaims, stumbling over his words as he rushes to get them out, "I've never seen anything like them! They were incredible and dangerous and-!"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Pete." She interjects, "Remember what we talked about?"

He lost her at the word 'dangerous'. If it's dangerous, then she doesn't want him anywhere near it. Danger is not something he needs to be getting involved in. Not now. Not ever. Superpowers or not.

"This is an emergency, Harper!" He argues, surprised, "You should've seen the weapons they had! They were insane!"

She sighs, tiredly rubbing her hands over her eyes, "I'm sure they were cool, Pete."

"That's not what I'm sayi-!"

"Are you okay?" She asks, interjecting again. She knows where he's going with this. She knows because normally, her thoughts would go through the exact same process. Except things aren't normal right now. They aren't normal, and it's not safe for him to become so invested in this. She knows what he's getting at here.

"What?" He asks, momentarily puzzled, "Yeah, I'm fine, but-."

"Then we're good, okay?" She says, disguising her sigh of relief as she says in an adamant tone, "No one died. You're okay. The robbers were stopped. You did good."

He can leave it at that. He can walk away and leave it alone and keep himself away from it, and she hopes he does, because she believes that he's right about these weapons. Normal guns can't cause as much destruction as what she's seeing on the screen.

"That's not why I'm calling you! It's the weapons, Harper!" He protests, "They weren't normal! They looked...they were-."

She quirks an eyebrow through the phone, catching onto what he's saying with skepticism, "Alien?"

"I don't know, okay?!" He exclaims, clearly worked up, and she sighs again. He shouldn't let this bother him. It'll just weigh down on his head, and he doesn't need that. She knows because she's been there.

"Sleep on it." She says, "You'll feel better in the morning. Trust me."

He probably won't, at least not if he's anything like her, and she knows that he is which doesn't help. She knows that no matter what she says, the chances of him just leaving this alone are slim to none. Still, it doesn't mean that she's not gonna try and get him to drop it.

"I did sleep on it! It doesn't change the fact that-!"

"Call me back if you're dying."

She hangs up then without another word, cutting him off mid-sentence in doing so, and the guilt sinks into the pit of her stomach as she slides the phone back into her pocket. In hindsight, maybe she could've handled that far better. No, she definitely could've.

"That's cold."

She almost jumps out of her skin when she hears the voice behind her, whipping around in the chair, hands only briefly glowing before she realizes whose stood there and relaxes somewhat.

"Jesus, Shuri!" She gasps, leaning back into a chair with a heavy breath, hand coming up to wipe across her forehead, "You ever heard of knocking?"

Shuri shrugs, strolling over to her, "It's my lab."

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it." Shuri says, confirming Harper's suspicions, as she asks, "It's the Spider-Boy, isn't it?"

"Spider-Man." Harper corrects, faltering when she notices the look Shuri gives her, "H-he likes to be called Spider-Man."

"Brother said he sounded like a little boy." Shuri admits, chuckling lightly, and Harper winces as she asks.

"You gonna tell him?"

"Tell him what?" Shuri asks rhetorically, corner of her mouth twitching up into a smile. Harper smiles back, grateful, as Shuri moves to take a seat opposite her. "I thought he was your friend."

"He is." Harper responds with a sigh, turning back towards the monitor to remove all traces of the deli footage from it.

"So why were you so cold with him?"

"Believe it or not, I'm protecting him." Harper counters, switching off the monitor and turning back to the older girl tiredly, "I'm always protecting him."

"Ah, yes, because your sense of self preservation is...how should I put it? Non-existent." Shuri scoffs, rolling her eyes, "You can't keep everyone else alive if you're dead."

Harper shrugs, "No point running from the inevitable."

Shuri groans over dramatically, rolling her eyes again, "And we're back to this."

"Back to what?"

"You talking about death like you-."

"Like I what?" Harper questions rhetorically, because she knows exactly what Shuri was gonna say. She sighs, leaning forward, "Look, Shuri, I think we've already established that, for whatever reason, I've got a knack for cheating death. That's exactly why I'm not afraid of it, because when I die, it'll be for a reason."

"Or it could be from old age." Shuri counters, and Harper scoffs.

"If I make it that far."

Shuri leans forward then, striking her in the arm, rolling her eyes when the younger girl yelps in pain, "You are fifteen years old! Will you stop having an existential crisis?"

"We almost got blown up the other day!" Harper argues back, hand covering her offended arm, "Can you blame me for thinking like that?!"

"But we didn't." Shuri counters, leaning back into her chair as she adds, "Thanks for that, by the way. You sorta saved us all there."

Harper shrugs, a slight grin coming to her face as something pops into her head, and she remarks with a smirk, "Well, you guys haven't pulled off immorality like me, so..."

"You are not immortal!" Shuri yells back, clearly trying not to laugh, clearly struggling when another grin breaks across the younger girl's face.

"We don't know that!"

She laughs for a second there. Like genuinely laughs. It's not forced or nervous, rather light and joking and happy. And it makes Shuri laugh too.

It's only when the laughter dies down that Harper explains herself, mostly because she feels like she has to justify why she was so harsh with him, both to herself and Shuri. She knows she'll have to justify it to him too, and she will, when this all blows over and things feel safe.

Saying that, knowing her luck, she'll end up having to say it before then.

"I'm not trying to be an asshole. I'm trying to keep him alive." She admits.

That's all it is. She's been involved in this world of superheroes and killer androids and Gods and monsters long enough to know and understand the dangers of it. Does she always keep herself out of the way of such dangers? No, of course she doesn't, but she can damn well try to keep Peter away from it.

And, if all else fails, she can try to protect him from it.

"How do you know anything's even gonna happen to him?" Shuri asks, and it's a genuine question, one that's Harper's certain she'd ask if she were in Shuri's position.

"Because he's just like me, and-."

"And you can't seem to catch a break?"

That's true. She can't catch a break. None of them can. And it's exhausting.

She doesn't want Peter to fall into that trap too. He doesn't need that pain. That life.


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper has a much needed conversation with Clint, and a new personal mission comes to light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Let me know if you guys are enjoying the story! It really inspires me to write! :)
> 
> Stay safe everyone!

"You doing okay, kid?" Clint asks, strolling into the living room of the suite, finding the youngest of them all sat in front of the flat screen mounted on the wall. He notices that she's not watching anything in particular, simply flicking through the channels absentmindedly, staring at the screen with tired eyes.

She barely acknowledges his arrival, humming quietly in response. He grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator before walking around the couch, tentatively taking a seat on the opposite end, tossing the water bottle between his hands as he watches her reaction.

She doesn't jump or flinch, which he takes as a good sign.

"Couldn't sleep?"

It's almost rhetorical, because he knows for a fact that she couldn't, otherwise she wouldn't be up this early.

A beat passes. And then she speaks, voice drained.

"You're not gonna ask about them?"

"Nope." He responds, noticing the flicker of surprise that crosses her face, even as her eyes remain fixed on the screen.

"Why not?"

"Because your hands are glowing, and I'd rather walk back out of here alive."

She looks away from the screen to her hands, seemingly noticing the way they're illuminated for the first time. She clenches them shut along with her eyes, seemingly concentrating for a brief moment as the light fades, and she almost seems relieved when it does.

"It wouldn't kill you. I mean, I haven't-." She stumbles, turning to him with an almost panicked expression, and it's only when she sees his calm expression that she composes herself, tone adamant, "I wouldn't kill someone. I'm not a murderer."

"I know, kid." He reassures, extending the bottle of water out to her with a small smile.

She accepts it with a grateful nod, focus turning to the liquid as he asks, "What's on the agenda for the day? Hiding out in the lab again?"

She shakes her head, taking a sip from the bottle, "Shuri's busy, and I don't exactly have another friend I can call, so-."

"So, we're not friends now?" He questions, eyebrow quirked playfully in an attempt to make her smile. He's relieved when she does.

"We're family. That's different." She scoffs, rolling her eyes, "People don't exactly hang out with their uncle when they're bored."

"That's what I am? The uncle?"

"The strict one. Sam's the funny one." She decides, words rolling off her tongue, a flash of regret crossing her face as soon as she says it, and she turns back to him with wide eyes, "I should not have said that."

"Lemme guess. Cap's the Grandpa?"

"How'd you know?" She quips back, adding after a thought, "Scott's the slightly awkward, fun cousin."

"What about Wanda?"

"Cool older sister." Harper decides. Wanda fits the profile for the cool older sister for sure.

"And Nat?"

She knew it was coming. She knew that he'd ask. Try and play it off as a part of their conversation. At least she has an answer for this one, and she reckons it's fitting.

"The stray cat that keeps wandering back in for scraps."

Clint scoffs, giving her a look, "Bit harsh, kid."

She shrugs, giving him a look back, "Bit true."

"No. This is good." He responds, noticing the look she's giving him in response, "Insults are a step up from complete alienation."

"I did save her life the other week."

"You saved all our asses." Clint corrects, and Harper scoffs.

"There's a first. I was always a nuisance on missions."

"That's not what I heard. Nat said-."

"And there's where you went wrong." She interjects, holding up a hand to stop him, "You listened to the pathological liar."

"That's a nice thing to hear first thing in the morning." Nat says sarcastically as she strolls into the room, already fully dressed for the day. In gym clothes, by the looks of it. Harper doesn't get why she bothers with all the training. They're not exactly gonna get sent on a mission anytime soon.

Then again, she could just be keeping in shape in the likely chance that she'll run off and leave them all again. Supposedly she's promised that she won't, but Harper's not exactly holding her breath.

Nat takes a seat in the armchair beside the other two, tentatively leaving forward as she watches Harper with caution, "Couldn't sleep?"

It's odd for Nat. She's always the one in control of the situation, even when everyone else around her doesn't see it that way. Except now and since she got back, to be honest, that's not been the case. Harper would be lying if she said she felt bad.

Saying that, it's not like she's been around Nat long enough to see the change in behavior. Why would she want to be? Sometimes she thinks that she's acting like a bit of an asshole, but then she remembers what happened and she pushes those thoughts from her mind instantly.

"I'm going to the lab." She decides, standing from her seat and heading from the door, avoiding eye contact the entire way.

Besides, sometimes it's easier just to block it all out.

"I thought you said Shuri was busy!" Clint calls after her, his voice travelling out the front door as she pulls it open, and her response is only just about heard from behind the closing door.

"I like the silence!"

The door slams and Nat sighs, turning towards her oldest friend with a mixed expression. He looks back at her, seeing her usual calm demeanor, along with pain and rejection she's clearly trying to hide.

He shrugs, "It's progress."

"Yeah." She responds, leaning back with a scoff, "If progress is moving from a steel wall to a brick wall."

"Give it time. The kid will come around eventually. At least we know she doesn't want you dead." He reasons, corner of his mouth twisting up as he attempts to crack a backwards joke, "She saved your ass the other day."

She smiles briefly too, and he's relieved. Dark humor's always been what works for them, and he's glad to see that hasn't changed despite everything thats happened.

"She saved all of us." Nat corrects, sighing, "I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave me, you know."

"We've been over this. You did what you had to do." Clint replies, shutting down his best friends self doubt. Does he understand where she's coming from? Absolutely, but say that he does won't make things any better. In fact, it'll only make things worse. "Eventually, she'll understand that too."

Nat nods, though it's unconvincing. Clint also keeps that thought to himself as she asks, "How is she doing, anyway?"

He sighs, thinking of the best way to phrase it other than 'not good'. He comes up with the best he can.

"Nightmares don't seem to be getting any better. Kid's got a lot of baggage."

That's putting it lightly. 'A lot' doesn't even begin to cover it.

"Her mind's been through a lot." Sam says, inserting himself into the conversation as he strolls out from his room and heads for the kitchen, still clad in his sleepwear, "I mean, it's stronger than all of ours put together, but it doesn't change the fact that she's still just a kid."

"Is there anyway we could get her some help? She started seeing a therapist right before the Ac-."

"A shrink? You wanna send her to a shrink?" Sam scoffs, looking at her incredulously as he grabs an apple from the counter, "She's barely willing to talk to us about any of it. You really think she'll talk to a stranger?"

Nat shrugs, trying to push off his accusing look, "It was just a thought."

"Un-think it." Sam says bluntly, moving past them as he heads back towards his room, as Clint retorts back at him.

"That doesn't even make any sense, Wilson!"

"Neither do the telekinetic and teleporting kids we're living with, Barton!" Sam shouts back, slamming the door behind him, leaving the two former spies alone again.

"Nice to see that the two of you get along." Nat remarks, eyebrow quirked.

"Oh, yeah! We're like best friends!" Clint responds sarcastically, adding with a small grin, "At least we have one thing in common."

"Which is?"

"We both like making fun of Tic Tac."

She laughs slightly at that and he's relieved. He was hoping that she would.

"Will she not even talk to any of you?" Nat asks, tone laced with concern, and Clint sighs.

"That conversation you just walked in on is the longest one we've had in a while." He admits, hand moving across his tired face, "Wanda can get the most out of her."

"Wanda?"

He nods, "The kid looks up to her. Feels safe with her."

"And she doesn't feel safe with the rest of you?" She asks, sounding surprised. Clint knows that the kid never feels entirely safe, that she hasn't for a long time, but he keeps that part to himself.

"It's not that she doesn't, it's just that it's different." He explains, "Cap reckons it's because she was so detached from the whole Accords situation. The kid's clinging to something or someone that's away from what happened. I think that's why her and Shuri hit it off so well."

"Do you think she's opened up to Shuri?"

Clint notes that her tone sounds hopeful, and he feels bad because he understands why. He knows she's trying to understand everything that's been going on with the kid, and she's clearly hoping that Shuri might be able to help. After all, it's not like she can turn to most of the team for that help. Sam and Wanda won't even talk to her like she's a human being at the minute.

"Even if she has, I doubt she'll tell us anything." Clint admits, shrugging, "She may be annoyingly intelligent, but she's also loyal to a fault to that kid. Which is good, because the kid could do with a friend."

Nat seems disappointed, though not surprised. She smiles sadly, agreeing, "Yeah, she does."

He smiles back, reaching out and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "We'll get her back, Nat."

"I know."

* * *

"Guess who's back!" Shuri cheers triumphantly, bursting into the lab late the following night. She heads straight for Harper, catching sight of the younger girl crouched in front of one of the workbenches, and she notes that they're the only two people left in the lab for the day.

"You miss me, America?" She asks, bumping the younger girl lightly on the shoulder.

"Yeah, uh, sure." Harper replies absentmindedly, eyes remaining fixed on her work as she shrugs Shuri off, and the older girl frowns when she notices her tired eyes. "Can you pass me that...the uh-?"

Harper stumbles over her words, pointing without a glance to another nearby workbench full of tools, clearly struggle to name exactly what she's after. Shuri takes a quick glance at what she's working on and takes a stab in the dark, grabbing one of the tools and holding it in front of the other girl.

"This?"

"Yeah." Harper responds, grabbing it from Shuri's hands and returning to her work with a quiet mumble, "Thanks."

"What are you working on?" Shuri asks, taking a step back to give the younger girl space. She's worked alongside Harper long enough to know that she appreciates her space when she's working.

"One of the calibrators from the track is busted."

Shuri's eyes go wide as she processes what the younger girl's saying, and she moves to her front side, concern written across her face, "Did you teleport down there again?"

"No!" Harper groans back, still remaining fixated on her work as she nods to her side, "I programmed a drone!"

"This thing?" Shuri questions, pacing over to the drone and examining its poor condition with a grimace, "It looks like it was hit by the train!"

"Calibration error."

It's definitely more than a calibration error. All the stuff Harper usually constructs in leagues better than the drone on the table in front of her. Something's off.

"Come on!"

She turns back to the younger girl just as she shoves the steel table to the floor, hands flickering rapidly as her face begins to flush red with frustration. Shuri rushes forward, breaking the usual boundary of space as she stands between her friend and the mess, hands raised defensively.

"Hey, hey, hey!" She yells hastily, cautious of the sudden outburst, casting a quick glance at the mess behind her, Calm down, okay? I got it."

"No! I-I can fix it! I've done it before!" Harper shouts angrily, glowing hands shakily pointing to the mess, "Why can't I fix it?"

"Maybe because you're sleep deprived. Or at least, you look like you are." Shuri admits, shrugging off the detached look Harper gives her back. It's a failed attempt at outrage, too dismantled by exhaustion to really convey anything.

Regardless, Shuri's not deterred by it.

"Did you have nightmares last night?"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" Harper snaps back, tired glare and all, "I-I don't have to talk about it! I'm sick of everyone trying to ge-!"

"Fine by me, America." Shuri says simply and calmly, and she doesn't miss the surprised expression that crosses the younger girl's face. She was clearly expecting some form of opposition.

Shuri's smart enough to know that'll get neither of them anywhere. If anything, it'll just make things worse right now.

"We'll pick it up in the morning, okay?" She says, nodding towards the project, and she's relieved when Harper nods tiredly in response. She's tempted to have the younger girl leave the lab right now just to be sure, but she knows that'll just cause more trouble and resistance than it's worth.

She turns and heads for the door, gently squeezing the younger girl's shoulder as she passes, and she pauses and turns back to her just as she reaches the exit to add, "Don't stay in here too late. I don't wanna come down here tomorrow and find you passed out on the floor. Again."

Harper nods, throwing a mock salute in her direction, "Roger that."

"I mean it, America." Shuri deadpans, "Get some sleep."

Shuri leaves, and whilst Harper can agree that she probably should get some sleep, that's not what she needs right now. She needs to understand what's wrong with her - actually, she knows what the problem is, but she needs to know how to fix it. She needs to be able to do something. Anything.

She's sick of feeling useless. It's been a common feeling recently. She's been trying to keep herself occupied by starting up new projects every five minutes, hoping that she might be able to achieve at least something of use.

She hasn't exactly had much luck so far.

"Bullshit!" She grumbles, pushing her half finished work to the side as she reaches for her temporary laptop, flipping the lid up with a groan, "I'm so fucking useless!"

She pauses her self loathing for a second when the last tab she had opened pops up on the screen, revealing the security footage she was analyzing the other night, specifically from the run in with the ATM robbers Peter had told her about.

Maybe she's a hypocrite for telling him to stay away from it but then doing her own research...no, that definitely makes her a hypocrite. Still, she was curious, and after seeing the news footage, she had to look for herself, so she did some digging.

At first it was kinda hard to decipher anything from the video, but she did draw one thing from it. She set up an analysis to be run on the footage to confirm her suspicions, which of course she totally forgot about until now, but looking at the results only confirms what she had already thought.

She knows that tech. She's seen it before. Maybe not in person, but certainly in classified footage and analytic files.

She practically scrambles to grab her phone, tearing the old thing open and dialling the only number available on the device, setting off as soon as the other end picks up, "Pete, that tech you were trying to tell me about, it's Chitauri!"

"I knew it!" He exclaims back, not missing a beat, seemingly unfazed by the sudden and unexpected call. A beat passes before he asks, puzzled, "What's Chitauri?"

"The alien species that the team fought in New York years ago." She explains, eyes frantically scanning each and every piece of the analytical data collected, "I don't know how those robbers could've gotten a hold of it, but-."

"I found some guys selling the tech the other night. I tried to stop 'em."

And that fills in one of the blanks in the story. It still doesn't explain how the sellers in question got ahold of the Chitauri tech, but it's a start. It's a tangent for her to follow. A way for her to preoccupy her decaying mind.

She's already so caught up in it that she doesn't even register the meaning behind his most recent impromptu 'mission'.

"Did you?" She asks.

"That's the thing! I almost had 'em, but then some flying Vulture guy came out of nowhere and threw me into a lake! Mr Stark - well, one of his suits really - came and got me out, and-!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back up a second!" She shouts hastily, backtracking to the first of many details that caught her attention, "Flying Vulture guy?"

"Yeah." He replies, "He was wearing some kind of exoskeleton. It was kinda like the wingsuit that the Falcon uses."

The concern rushes in then. Sam's wingsuit may not seem too powerful, but if used properly, the person utilizing it can pack quite the punch.

In other words, the injuries someone using that kind of tech can cause can hurt like a bitch.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He says, and she sighs in relief, "Mr Stark got me out."

That makes her smile for a brief second. He's keeping his promise like he said he would. Saying that, he probably didn't think it would be as much trouble as it seems to have been so far, but at least he's not going back on his promise. She has to be grateful for that, especially after everything.

"What did he have to say about all of this?"

"He told me to start thinking about college."

"Sounds about right." Harper agrees, unsurprised. "What are you doing right now?"

She has her suspicions, but she figured she might as well find out for sure. He's too much like her that it scares her.

"Me and Ned are tracking the guys who were trying to sell the weapons."

"You and Ned?" She questions, her tired brain taking a second to process what he's saying. "You told Ned?!" She yells, realization crashing into her as the panic sets in.

"Hi, Harper!" Ned calls excitedly, "Big fan!"

She scoffs, tone blunt, "What happened to protecting your identity?"

"I didn't tell him. He sorta just...found out." Peter explains, rushing to justify his choice, "He's not gonna tell anyone! Trust me!"

She could scream. Literally. She told him to keep his identity a secret, and if it wasn't important enough before it definitely is now with the whole Accords situation. It doesn't matter that Ned is his friend, it still makes him and everyone close to him even more vulnerable.

She takes a deep breath, ignoring the flickering of her hands as she pushes past the minor setback. She doesn't want to get mad at him - he's only doing what he thinks is best, even if he is completely wrong.

"How are you tracking these guys?" She asks, confused, "You manage to get a tracker on them before the Vulture dude got you?"

"Not exactly." He says sheepishly, admitting, "They came to the school."

"Your school? Wh-?" She begins to ask, pausing when she puts the pieces of the narrative together. Sighing, she questions, "You took something of theirs, didn't you?"

"A core from one of their weapons, yeah. It got broken off during the fight." He explains, "I tagged them when they were looking around for it."

Of course he did. What else would he have done? Played it safe? Pff, no way.

"And they didn't see you?"

"Nope."

She sighs in relief, and it feels like the weight of a truck's finally been lifted off her chest. At least they didn't spot him at school. If they had, there's a chance he would've had to fight back, and if he had to do that, people might've started to put the pieces together. She's more afraid of that than someone in the general public figuring out his identity. Being at school is one of the few normal things in his life, and she doesn't want him to lose it.

She misses things being normal.

"Peter, they're stopping." Ned says, voice distant from across the room, and the old phone barely picks up on it. She snaps out of her thoughts, listening intently as the two boys talk with one another.

"Where'd they stop?" Peter asks, voice slightly muffled as he presumably turns towards his friend.

"Maryland."

"Maryland?" Harper questions over the phone, stunned, "That's a long way from New York."

Whoever these guys are, it seems they're the real deal. Small scale robbers don't move their plans out of state. They're up to something bigger with the tech they're stealing, which only makes the situation more difficult to walk away from.

"Yeah." Peter agrees, pausing for a moment before he adds, "Not too far from D.C, though."

She draws in a deep breath. She knows she's gonna regret asking more because she knows it'll just spur the conversation on, but she can't help it, "What are you thinking?"

"Remember the Academic Decathlon team I told you about a few months ago?"

"You're still on it?"

"No. I quit." He admits, "But, they're competing in D.C in a few days."

"D.C's not far from Maryland." Harper realizes, beginning to visualize Peter's plan in her own mind as he continues to talk over the phone. It seems like he's really thought this through. Either that or he's just uncharacteristically composed.

No. No, he must've thought this through.

"Exactly." Peter says, addressing the second part to both Harper and Ned, "So if I get back on the team, I'll have my way there."

"You really think Mr Stark's gonna let you do that?" She questions, scoffing, "And alone?"

If Tony even hears a slight part of Peter's plan, he'll shut it down without hesitation. He'll probably set drones off to keep an eye on him whilst he's at it too. He did promise to protect him, after all, and with the kind of tech he has at his disposal, it makes the job ten times easier.

"He doesn't have to know." He suggests tentatively, adding with a lack of confidence, "And I'm not gonna be alone."

"Listen, Pete. I'm sure Ned's a nice guy, but I don't he's gonna be able to help you out on this one." She replies, almost feeling bad despite the fact that it's the truth. It's nothing against Ned.

"Yeah, but you can."

She stills, which is odd because she knew he was gonna get to this point eventually. She knew where the conversation was headed. It doesn't stop it from being a total punch in the gut.

"Pete, I can't. If I get caught, they'll put me back there. Not to mention how it could impact you and I-."

She tries to explain it despite the rising guilt in her chest, and she has to take a moment to think about it and process everything because her head's all over the place with this and everything else. She tries to suggest another way. A backup plan, of sorts.

"Can't you ask Mr Stark for help?"

"He won't help." He insists, voice dropping to a whisper as he clearly tries to be discrete in front of Ned, "Please, Harper. I can't do this on my own."

Yeah, she probably should've expected his response from a mile off. And he's not wrong. Mr Stark would've told him to stay out of it too.

Part of her wants to shut the door again. Close it and tell him to drop it because it's safer that way, but the difference this time is that she was the one who called him. She started the conversation. It'd be a pretty crappy move on her part if she just shut him out again.

Besides, she knows that he'll just go through with it regardless of if she helps or not.

"It's gonna be hard to build a new suit in three days."

"You'll help?" He asks, surprised.

She sighs, nodding despite the fact he can't even see her, "Can't let you fix this on your own."

Maybe that's part of it, but it's mostly because she's scared that something will happen to him, and if there's even a small chance that she could've prevented it but didn't, she never would've been able to forgive herself.

Still, it is gonna be hard to build a decent suit in such a short time, but she could do with a challenge. One that she can actually solve for a change.


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper joins Peter in tracking down the mercenaries harboring Chitauri tech, leading to the discovery of a villain that packs enough of a punch that it's difficult for the two of them to handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! They really do inspire me to write! Stay safe everyone!! :)

This has got to be her worst idea yet. No, it most definitely is, especially considering that she's interrupting the first nightmare-free nights sleep she's had in a while for it.

8PM. That's the time he told her to meet him at, having provided details of his exact location in Maryland at that time. She told him to be one hundred percent sure, because she's not exactly looking to teleport into the random hotel room of one of his classmates. That could be bad in more ways than one.

He still doesn't know where she is, because as much as she'd like to tell him, she can't risk it. Not even just for her own safety, but for his and for the others as well. Given that, she can't exactly blame him for choosing to meet at this time. It's not like he could know that it's currently 3:58AM from where she's coming from.

She rushes to silence the alarm as soon as it goes off, though she doesn't exactly know why she bothers. One advantage of the enhanced senses is that she can tune an alarm to a frequency that only she can pick up on. She never found much use for that particular skill now, but now its use cannot be understated.

She jumps up and slips into the makeshift suit she's put together in the last few days. Okay, so maybe she can't go as far as calling it a full on suit. It's more akin to the original 'suit' Peter had when she first met him as Spiderman last year. Sure, she had all the tech in Shuri's lab at her disposal, but it was kinda hard to utilize much of it without drawing attention to herself. Instead, she had to go old school.

At least this suit has a pocket she can put her phone in.

"Harper! Hey!"

She feels a set of arms wrap around her as soon as she rematerializes in the much brighter room on the other side, the sound of Peter's voice being enough to put her at ease.

She hugs him back tightly, smiling into his shoulder, "Hey, Pete. It's good to see you."

She hadn't realized how much she missed him. Sure, she saw him to drop off the phone and she's spoken to him since then, but it's not the same.

When she pulls away, she's relieved to see that he hasn't changed one bit.

"Thanks for coming."

She shrugs, smiling softly, "Couldn't let you do this alone."

He smiles back, and for a brief second there's a relaxing familiarity to the exchange that makes both of them feel oddly normal. That is until the sound of someone clearing their throat breaks that moment.

Peter turns towards the sound, rushing to connect the dots as he pulls the boy sat on the bed into the conversation. Harper notices the suit on the bed, along with the laptop that's hooked up to it, the other boy holding said laptop in his lap.

She guesses who he is before Peter tells her.

"Harper, this is Ned. Ned, Harper."

"Wow! Y-you're really here!" Ned exclaims excitedly, placing the laptop down and crossing the room to stand opposite her, hands awkwardly hanging in front of him. It's as if he's deciding whether or not it's socially acceptable to offer a handshake. It's kinda sweet in an odd way.

"I-I mean, Peter said you'd be, and of course he's an Avenger so it makes sense, but-."

"Hold on a second." Harper interjects, glancing between the two boys quizzically, "Peter told you that-?"

"Anyway!" Peter interrupts hastily, moving to stand between the two as he swiftly changes the subject, "I'm glad you're here. We could really use your help."

"Not even like...Captain America?" Ned asks, tone hopeful, and Harper doesn't miss the warning look that Peter shoots in his direction.

"Dude!"

She chuckles slightly, shrugging him off, "It's fine, Pete. But no, Ned, I didn't tell Steve. Or Sam. Or even Wanda."

"Playing it safe, right?" Peter asks, and she nods.

"We need to play this carefully, okay? I can't get caught." Harper responds, tone serious as she looks between the two, "No one knows I'm here, and I'd like to keep it that way."

Peter nods in agreement, "I need to be back for the academic decathlon, so I'm hoping we can get these guys tonight and be back before the morning."

"I'm gonna have to move faster than that." Harper admits, adding when they both seem confused, "It's already 4am where I'm coming from. If I'm not back within four hours, someone's gonna notice that I'm gone."

"Ned should be done with the suit soon, so we can go right after that." Peter explains, and she nods gratefully, moving towards the bed to look at the suit splayed across it, Peter doing a double take as she does, "Did you say 4am?"

"What are you doing to the suit?" She asks, ignoring his last question as she examines the suit in question, puzzled. It's connected up to Ned's laptop for some reason, the outer layer pulled away to expose the framework beneath.

"Peter took the tracker out so Iron Man can't find him."

"Dude!" Peter exclaims, shooting another sharp look in Ned's direction.

"I'm sorry! I can't lie to an Avenger!" Ned responds, exasperated, "He wants me to disable the 'training wheels' protocol of his suit, but I don't think it's a good idea."

"I think it is!" Peter argues, glancing between the other two, "This is the chance for me to prove myself!"

She hangs her head, pinching the bridge of her nose with an exasperated sigh. It's painful how much Peter reminds her of herself. It's mostly painful because she's scared he's gonna make all the same mistakes as she did. At the same time, she can see where he's coming from with the suit.

"If these guys are using Chitauri weapons, we could use all the help we can get." She explains, gesturing to her own makeshift suit, "This suit is just a prototype. It'll work, but it won't work as well as my old one. One of us is gonna need a decent suit to work with."

Peter seems surprised but elated that she's agreeing with him, casting another glance over at Ned and nodding towards the laptop with a cheeky grin, "Come on! The guy in the chair!"

Ned glances back over at Harper, perhaps hoping that she'll back him up here, but she just shrugs, "You heard what I said. We need all the help we can get."

Ned sighs, pacing back over to his laptop as Peter grins triumphantly, "I'm gonna regret this."

"This the core?" Harper questions, picking up a small glowing purple object on the nightstand, holding it up to examine, "These guys aren't playing around, huh?"

"I told you they weren't." Peter replies, "Tried to tell Mr Stark too, but-."

"He didn't listen?" She questions, and he nods, making her scoff, "Yeah. Sounds about right."

He means well. In fact, he's doing exactly what he promised to do. Well, kinda. He probably figured that if he discouraged Peter enough, he'd just drop the matter entirely. God, did he learn anything from all the times he tried to fix her mistakes?

"They're moving." Ned says, eyes fixed on his laptop screen as Peter scrambles for his suit, ripping out the wires and rushing for the bathroom, leaving Harper alone in the room with his best friend.

An awkward moment passes, and then Ned speaks up.

"So..." He says, glancing up at her excitedly, "How'd you meet Peter? Was it through a superhero mission?"

"Nope. I knew him before the spider bit him." She replies, adding with a slight smile, "He told me about you, you know?"

"Really?" Ned asks, surprised eyes shining with excitement, and she nods.

"He said you were cool."

"That's so awesome!" Ned replies, giddy with excitement, "D-did you tell the other Avengers about me? Or Peter? I-I mean, either of us would be cool..."

"Nope." She says, shaking her head, "I keep Peter separate from it all. It's safer that way."

Sure, none of them would expose Peter to the world, but she doesn't want to risk anything. Anonymity is the key to safety. Ned may be the only exception.

Saying that, she reckons that at least one of them might've put the pieces together by now.

"But Peter's an Avenger!"

She does a double take when Ned says that, opening her mouth to argue the opposite, but Peter steps back out of the bathroom before she gets the chance, pulling the zip of his jacket up over his suit to hide it beneath.

"How'd I look?" He asks, arms out to show off his appearance.

"Normal."

He smiles, accepting the core when she extends it out to him, passing it over to Ned as he pulls up a holographic map from his suit. She's relieved to see the detail Mr Stark's put into his suit. It means he's keeping his promise.

"The glowy thing, it's evidence. Keep it safe." He explains sincerely, and Ned nods back, placing the core into his pocket.

"Okay. Be careful."

Peter nods back at his friend before turning to Harper, gesturing towards the door. She nods back, smiling, as she follows him out of the hotel room and into the exposed hallway outside, which itself turns out to be the first mistake of their mission.

"Oh, shit!"

She flies up towards the balcony above, clinging to the railing as several kids clad in swimwear rush down the hallway, briefly greeting Peter as they pass. She frowns when one of the boys strikes him as he passes, and she has to resist the urge to blast him right in the back.

She quickly realizes how bad of an idea that is, especially when one of the girls stops right in front of him, and she doesn't miss the way Peter's heart literally skips a beat at the sight of this girl.

She can't help but smirk.

"Hey, Liz." He says, nervous crack in his voice.

"Perfect timing. We're gonna go swimming." She says, grabbing his arm in an attempt to pull him along, "Come on!"

He stops, pulling his arm back and nodding behind him, "I was, uh... I was gonna go study, um, in the business center."

He's disappointed that he has to turn her down. That Harper can tell.

"Peter, you don't need to study. You're, like, the smartest guy I've ever met." Liz replies, smiling, "And besides...Um, a rebellious group activity the day before competition is good for morale."

"Hmm?"

Yeah. Even Harper's confused by that one.

Liz reaches up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, a surprisingly nervous tinge to her voice, "Um, well, I read that in a TED Talk, so, I-I heard it in a TED Talk. And I read a coaching book."

"Wow, you really..." Peter murmurs, seemingly taken aback and somewhat awestruck, "This is really important to you."

"Yeah. It's our future. I'm not gonna screw it up." Liz responds, shrugging, "Besides, we raided the minibar and these candy bars were, like, eleven dollars. So get your trunks on and come on."

She tosses him one of the candy bars in her hand before rushing past him, lightly nudging him in the shoulder as she goes, causing a blush to creep onto his face. Harper flies back down when she's out of sight, nudging Peter's arm with a rare cheeky grin.

"Why didn't you tell me that you've got a girlfriend, Pete?"

"S-She's not..." He fumbles, clearly flustered and timidly embarrassed, "She's not my girlfriend, okay?"

Harper raises an eyebrow, "But you want her to be, right?"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Peter groans exasperatedly, desperately trying to stop his face from turning even more red, "Don't we...we've got a mission."

"I'm just playing with you!" Harper responds playfully, nodding down the hall as she chooses to drop the subject. She can spare him from the teasing for now. There's always more time for that later on. "You ready?"

He nods, joining her in heading down the hall, and she can't help but subtlety smirk to herself again. It's sweet - Peter has a crush. She's definitely looping back to that later on. Without a doubt.

"By the way, why'd you tell Ned that you're an Avenger?"

"I don't know." He admits sheepishly, a nervous blush creeping across his face, "It sorta just slipped out."

She laughs. Genuinely.

For a brief moment, she forgets the seriousness of what they're actually doing, and it sorta feels like old times. Back when she still felt like a semi-normal kid just hanging out with one of her best friends.

God, how things have changed.

* * *

"I really miss my old suit." Harper grumbles, trying to patiently wait atop the truck leading them to the position of the mercenaries. Patience has never exactly been her strong suit. "If I still had A.M.Y, I could get the coordinates transferred over and I could get us there in seconds."

Hell, if she had A.I.D.A.N she could probably just teleport them right there. It's not been an excruciating long drive, far from it, but they're both running on limited time frames here.

"Suit lady says we're almost there." Peter replies through his mask, glancing over at her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Harper rushes, deadpan expression beneath her mask, "There's an A.I built into your suit?"

"Yeah." He responds, shrugging, "Is there not one in yours?"

"Does it look like there is?!" She snaps back, gesturing to her poor excuse for a suit. She groans frustratedly before the guilt hits, and she can tell that he's frowning despite the fact that she can't see his face. She sighs, tone apologetic, "Sorry. I'm not trying to be an asshole."

"It's okay."

It's not. It's really not. The last thing she wants to do is start lashing out at him too. That's not fair. He doesn't deserve that. No one really does, but especially not him.

"You know, when all of this is over, we should definitely have a Star Wars marathon. Even invite Ned." She suggests, casting a glance back over at him, smiling.

"Really?"

She nods, both grinning beneath their masks, "Yeah. Maybe we should skip the Phantom Menace though."

"The Phantom Menace is my favorite!"

"It is?" She questions, surprised, "I mean, it's not a bad film, but it's definitely the worst of the bunch."

"What? No way! The worst one is-!" He begins to argue, suddenly pausing before latching onto her arm, "Jump now!"

She listens to his instruction, flying the two of them down from the truck safely into a patch of grass, which thankfully acts as a cushion to their fall. Peter takes the lead as soon as they hit the ground, beckoning her to follow him over to some nearby bushes for cover. The two of them crouch down behind them, providing them with a clear view to a nearby run-down gas station. The only sign of civilization is a single truck parked by an old shack outside.

"That must be them." Harper murmurs, eyes fixed on the truck.

Now, despite the whole enhanced senses thing, she is yet to unlock the ability of x-ray vision. Not that she needs it. Peter has her covered.

"Suit lady says there's three of them." He whispers, briefly glancing over at her. She nods, focusing her ears on the truck for confirmation.

"I can hear their heart beats."

They're surprisingly steady for people handling deadly and illegal tech. To her, that indicates either confidence or ignorance. Maybe even both.

"Why is their secret lair in a gas station?" Peter questions, tone disappointed, "That's so lame."

"Agreed, but it's discrete." She replies with a shrug, "More practical."

He has got a point. This is a pretty lame excuse for a secret lair. It's not like she was expecting much, but at least more than a decrepit gas station.

"Come on!"

Peter swings up onto a nearby sign, presumably to get a better vantage point, and she hesitates for a moment before flying up to join him. It's kinda hard to be discrete when she glows slightly every time she flies, but she makes it work, joining him atop the rusty old sign.

_"I got the gauntlet from the Lagos cleanup. The rest is all my design."_

_"Can't believe they're still cleaning up that Triskelion mess."_

_"I love it. They keep making messes, we keep getting rich."_

At least that explains where these guys are getting their tech. Rushing in after a mission gone wrong, taking a small amount each time so hardly no one notices that it's even gone. It's a smart move. Evil, but surprisingly intelligent.

"I can hear them. Sounds like they're talking about the weapons."

"I know." Peter responds, adding when she glances over at him, "The suit lady did a thing."

Ah, the perks of having A.I built into your suit. It gives you a seemingly endless amount of tech and knowledge to work with, and to say that comes in handy is an understatement. She really needs to construct a proper suit as soon as physically possible.

"Target inbound."

"Sounds like they're in the middle of a heist. We could catch them red handed!" Peter gasps excitedly, practically bouncing on his feet in anticipation, "That's awesome!"

It's also highly illegal and dangerous, but she chooses to keep the pessimistic thoughts to herself for once.

"We need to get closer." Harper murmurs, eyes squinting in the dark. They aren't gonna be able to do much from all the way up here.

"Enhanced Combat Mode? Yeah." Peter murmurs suddenly, seemingly talking to himself, and it takes a moment before the eye coverings on his suit turn a harsh shade of red and he begins to panic, "No, no, no! I don't wanna kill anybody!"

The red disappears and Harper quirks an eyebrow beneath her suit. She can ask about it later once they've dealt with this.

"Come on."

Peter leaps first, arm extended out to a launch a web onto a nearby building, except no long web seems to emerge. Instead, Harper only sees a couple small bursts of web fluid before Peter face-plants directly onto the concrete, groaning in pain upon impact.

"Peter! What are you doing?" She whispers harshly, watching as he staggers to his feet and looks back up at her, clearly freaked.

"Something's wrong with my web shooters!"

He begins to rush around on the ground, playing around with his suit as he tries to figure out whats gone wrong. He ends up sending a burst of webs onto the roof above, electrifying it all over as he rapidly tries to stop it. He rushes for cover, panting frantically as he continues to mess about with his suit, and Harper swears she's gonna start panicking at any second.

"I'm going to die in the middle of Maryland."

Maybe not die, but there's a high chance they're gonna get their asses kicked if she doesn't do something quickly.

She decides.

She flies down from the sign, latching onto Peter and flying him up onto a nearby roof and out of sight, looking at him with a baffled expression beneath her mask, "What was that?"

"Suit lady did something to my web shooters!"

"Can you fix it?"

"I asked her to set everything to default." He replies, nodding, and only a moment passes before he's pointing to the sky behind her, "Oh, that's him!"

She turns around, catching a glimpse of the flying Vulture guy himself from a distance. He flies stealthily above three trucks driving down the road, throwing some kind of tech down onto the roof of one of them before dropping inside.

He acts fast. They've gotta keep up.

"Hold on, Pete."

She grabs onto Peter's arm before flying the two of them back off the roof and towards the moving truck, landing the two of them softly upon the metal exterior, cautious of how they may unintentionally alert the flying Vulture guy to their presence.

In hindsight, maybe they should've discussed their game plan beforehand, because she has no idea what they're doing.

"Whoa, cool." Peter murmurs, reaching out to touch the purple mist that's exposing the interior of the van, seemingly in awe by its properties. Harper has to admit that it looks pretty cool, but she also knows that it's pretty advanced tech, making it concerning that this guy managed to get ahold of it. "It's some kind of matter phase shifter."

That's what it seems to be. The roof of the truck is still intact, yet it's possible to pass through it. It's pretty cool, she has to admit.

"This is advanced tech, alright." She murmurs, eyes fixed below in case he re-emerges, "Whoever this guy is, he knows what he's doing with this stuff."

She doesn't like just how well their plan seems to be thought through, or how much tech they seem to have at their disposal. Sure, they have superpowers, but superpowers are stagnant. They hardly develop or change to combat new threats. Sure, they're adaptable, but it's not the same. Tech's constantly changing and developing, and who knows if they'll be able to keep up with it.

"Get back!"

She harshly tugs Peter back as the flying Vulture guy comes into their line of sight, the two of them narrowly missing being spotted as they scramble towards the opposite end of the truck roof. They stand, fists raised and poised for a fight as he flies up out of the truck, now with a seemingly full backpack in hand.

Peter's the first to react, extending a web out towards the backpack. He latches onto it and pulls it towards him, ripping it right from the unsuspecting mans arms.

"Hey, asshat!" Harper yells, his glowing green eyes turning towards the two of them sharply, "Anyone ever tell you that stealing's wrong?!"

A guttural noise sounds from the exoskeleton wearing man in response, and Harper finds herself instinctively pushing Peter back slightly, glowing fists raised defensively.

"I think we pissed him off." Peter murmurs, tone somewhat panicked, and Harper nods in agreement.

"Yep."

They definitely pissed him off. No doubt about it.

Everything kicks off from there as the flying Vulture guy rushes towards them. It all sorta passes by in a blur. He manages to dodge her blasts, and when that fails she goes for the punching approach whilst Peter tries to neutralize him with the webs. She loses track of him, but she thinks his webs start to malfunction again, and she's completely blinded by pain when the sharp metal talons of the exoskeleton embed deeply into her barely protected shoulders, yanking her clean off the truck roof.

She catches a glimpse of Peter crashing down inside the truck as she's ripped away, and the last thing she's consciously aware of before everything goes black is the rush of cold water trying to enter her burning lungs.


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper wakes up and realizes what's just happened, and the Chitauri core causes more trouble than her and Peter thought it would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated! Stay safe everyone :)!

She's coughing and spluttering when she finally comes to. And she's cold. Like freezing, bone-chillingly cold, and for her that's one of the first reminders of what happened, and the only thing that's providing her with even a shred of warmth is the sun shining down on her.

Wait, the sun? Why is the sun out? How long was she out for? If the sun's out here, then it must be at least midday back in Wakanda. Oh, this is bad. This is really, _really_ bad.

She rolls onto her back when she finally pulls her soaked legs out of the lake, breathing a sigh of relief on the simple fact that she didn't drown, somehow. She knew she passed out soon after she hit the water, which means the flying Vulture guy must've dropped her from quite a height. And she can feel the slight burn in her shoulders, but she doesn't know if that's from the probable cuts themselves or the water and dirt clogging them up.

And, of course, who knows where the flying Vulture guy is now, or where those trucks he was tailing have gotten to? They could be out of state by now, onboard all the tech and...Peter!

Oh, God! Peter!

She pulls herself from the dirt and staggers to her feet, her hand shooting into her pocket to pull out her phone. The result is exactly what she was expecting, but it doesn't make it any better.

"No, no, no!"

Right, so all she has is a broken phone in the middle of Maryland. Not ideal. The only saving grace is that, someone, her mask is still intact. She can feel it sticking to her face.

She seriously misses her old suit. She doesn't know the time, but she knows that she's definitely running over her impromptu schedule.

"It's not Halloween for another month, kid!"

She jumps with a fright, head whipping around at the sound of another voice. She spots an elderly man walking along the public path adjacent to the river, and though it's not much, she hits the ground running with the only plan she has.

She rushes up to the brain, dirty water falling off her suit as her feet squelch with each step, and she stops a few steps away from him as she says, trying not to sound desperate, "Sir, I need to borrow your phone."

"It's an old phone, kid." He responds, not remotely perturbed by her appearance, "Not like those moving screen phones all you kids have."

"It's touch...never mind." She says, stopping herself before she gets ahead of herself. She doesn't have any time to waste. "Can I please borrow it?" She asks, shaking hand extended out pleadingly.

"I don't see why not."

She could cry! Bless oblivious old people!

"Thank you!" She says gratefully, taking the phone from him and turning away to place her call. It's a good thing she's been using an old phone like this one for a while now otherwise she reckons she'd be a bit screwed. She punches in the numbers and places the ringing phone up to the side of her masked ear, teeth chattering from the cold. "Come on, Pete. Pick up!"

It rings once. Twice. Three times before he finally picks up, breathing heavily down the phone, "Hello?"

"Peter, it's Harper!" She yells, relieved, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine!" He responds, tone staggered. It sounds like he's running, "Listen! The glowy purple thing-!"

"You mean the core?"

"Yeah! The core!" He corrects, tone rushed and panicked, "Listen, Karen told me that it's a bomb!"

She quirks an eyebrow, "Karen?"

Who the hell is Karen?

"The suit lady!" Peter replies with a shout, "If it goes near any radiation, it'll turn into a bomb! I've tried to talk to Ned, but he wouldn't listen!"

She doesn't process much of what he's saying, the few key words that stand out to her being 'radiation', 'bomb' and 'Ned'. It's enough to go off of at least.

"Pete, calm down, okay?" She says, tone betraying her. She's being hypocritical in telling him to be calm, when she's far from such a thing. Still, now isn't a time for her to lose her head. "Where are you?"

"Coming up on the Washington Monument!" He replies. Oh, so that's where he's running to. "Ned's there with the decathlon team! I need you here right now!"

Washington Momument. Okay. She knows where that is. She can get there.

"I'm on my way!" She responds, pulling the phone back to end the call. She rushes back towards the elderly gentleman, hastily yet politely passing him his phone with a brief 'thank you' before turning to leave.

"Wait!" The elderly gentleman calls, and she reluctantly stops, turning back towards him and holding a polite expression despite the fact that he can't even see it. "Who are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Uh...Black Widow."

Not the best excuse, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

"The spider?"

Thankfully, he seems to be oblivious to it all.

"Sure."

She rushes down the path before he can say anything else, ducking behind a nearby tree where he can't see her before teleporting away. She re-materializes not far from her destination, appearing just behind some bushes nearby. Not that it's worth hiding anymore. If people haven't already seen her, they're about too.

She rushes towards the monument on foot, relieved when she sees the familiar red and blue suit looking up at the tall monument before him. She rushes right into him, causing him to let out a startled cry, "Hey!"

"Where's Ned?" She asks shakily, cutting right to the chase.

"I-I don't know." He replies, voice just as shaky, as he takes in her soaked appearance, "What happened to you?"

"I-."

A loud bang sounds from above, cutting her off, and the panic really settles in when the two of them look up and see rubble falling down from the top of the building.

"No, no, no! Karen, what's going on up there?"

"What happened?" Harper questions, glancing over at Peter as he continues to look up at the falling rubble.

"The core exploded! It must've gone through radiation!"

"My friends are up there!"

Harper's head darts around and she sees a girl, probably about their age, stood next to Peter on the other side, looking up to the top of the monument just like they are. Peter looks at her, slight recognition in his tone, and Harper quickly puts two and two together.

Peter clears his throat, tone deepening slightly as he addresses the girl, "Uh...Don't worry, ma'am. Everything's gonna be okay."

He looks back at Harper then, and that's when she knows it's time to spring into action. She latches onto his arm and flies up, pulling him along with her. It's the fastest way they'll be able to get to the top.

"We've got 125 seconds before this thing falls apart!" Peter yells above the wind, voice full of impending panic and fear. Makes sense considering they're only about half way up.

"What?!"

She picks up the speed with a newfound sense of greater urgency, and about 20 seconds pass before they reach the top. She pulls them back slightly to assess the situation, "I-I might be able to teleport in and get them out, but-!"

She stops when something small flies out in front of her, beginning to circle the building and seemingly scan it from outside.

"What is that?"

"Karen says it's a reconnaissance drone!"

She scoffs, watching as the drone flies back towards them, "How come I never got one of those?"

Why does Peter get all the cool stuff? Not that that's important right now. It most definitely isn't.

"If I teleport in there-!"

"Karen says the added weight could make the whole thing collapse!"

Right. So there goes her bright idea. Now what?

She glances down at him, still holding the two of them up away from the building, "So what's our play?"

A moment passes as Peter confers with the A.I in his suit before he has an answer.

"Karen says the southwest window's our best shot!"

Southwest window. Okay. She can work with that.

She flies the two of them around to the southwest side of the monument, relieved when she catches sight of the window in question. She flies up closer to it and Peter latches onto the side of the building, freeing up both her hands as she moves towards the window and pushes against it.

As expected, it doesn't budge.

Time for Plan B.

"I'm gonna smash it open." She decides, glancing over at Peter,"A projectile could blow up the whole top half of the building."

It's not even a matter of 'could'. The chances of it blowing the top half of the building off are highly likely. She refuses to risk that chance.

"Karen says it's four-inch ballistic glass!" Peter warns, grimacing beneath his mask, "It's gonna hurt!"

You know, would it be that hard to catch a break?

"I'll heal!"

Still won't stop it from hurting, as she soon discovers when her fist slams into the glass. She pushes the pain to the back of her mind as she repeatedly strikes the glass, hand burning more intensely upon each strike. She feels like she's finally making some headway when she hears it.

"This is D.C. Metro police! Identify yourself!"

She glances back at the same time Peter does, the two of them catching sight of the helicopter hovering nearby, a few guns aimed towards them defensively.

"You've got to be shitting me!" She groans, exasperated. This is not how the plan was supposed to go.

She repeatedly strikes the window, begging with each and every hit that the glass will give away. She could cry when it finally does, though she doesn't know if it's out of relief or due to the pain.

"Go!"

* * *

"Holy shit! Did we just do that?!"

Peter's pacing around in front of her with a limp, and he tears his mask off his sweaty face and tosses it onto the bed, continuing to move back and forth.

She's still trying to process it all. They actually did it. Well, they saved Peter's friends, but whether or not they actually accomplished the goal of their mission is up for debate. Who is she kidding? They definitely didn't accomplish what they set out to do. They got their asses handed to them.

Still, when she looks at Peter's tired yet relieved face, and she realizes that they're now both safe back in the hotel room, she can't bring herself to point out their failure.

"Yeah. Yeah, we did." She says, standing from her seat and walking over to him with a sigh. She places a hand on his shoulder and closes her eyes, trying to conceal a wince when she feels his pain transfer into her, "You took a hit."

"So did you." He replies, casting a concerned glance down at her hand, "There's glass in your hand, Harper."

She glances down at the hand in question, and if she's honest she hadn't even noticed the glass or the blood. She rips off her makeshift mask, still wet from the lake, and wraps it around her hand, hoping it might stop any blood from dripping onto the floor. The glass is a whole other matter entirely.

"It's fine. I'll heal."

That's true. She will heal. Once she gets the glass out.

He sighs, guilt stricken, "I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"It's not your fault. I should've handled that Vulture guy better last night. If I had, the bomb would've never been set off." She admits. This isn't his fault, though he's just like her so she knows he'll still blame himself no matter what she says. Besides, there wouldn't be an issue if she had been better.

Sighing, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the broken phone, grimacing, "My burner phone's dead. It got ruined when the Vulture guy dropped into the lake."

"He dropped you into a lake too?"

"Yep, so until I get a new phone, or somehow fix this one, you're not gonna be able to contact me again." She explains, slipping the phone back into her pocket with her good hand. She walks over to the window, staring through the pulled shutters at the cars driving by.

Maybe, one day, she'll be able to look through a window that isn't partially covered up again.

"I'll try and sort something out as soon as I can, but until then, lay low."

"Lay low?"

She winces at the tone of his voice. She knew he'd be unhappy with her decision as soon as she said it, mostly because she'd be the exact same if she were in his position. That's part of the reason why, most of the time, they work incredibly well together.

"You saw those guys, Harper! You saw what their weapons can do! We've gotta stop them be-!"

"Right now, we're going to lay low." She responds calmly, turning back to him with a blank expression. She can't get caught up in this again. Now isn't the time for that. "I've been exposed, Pete. I'm supposed to be in hiding and I exposed myself to the world."

"No one knows that it was you though!"

She sighs. She knew he'd say that.

"There's not a lot of people who can fly and smash through reinforced glass with their bare hands, Pete. It won't take them long to connect the dots." She explains, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I know it's hard, but I need you to trust me on this one."

He hesitates for a moment before nodding.

"I do."

She smiles, squeezing his shoulder lightly before stepping back, returning to her other hand to place pressure on her wounded hand.

"I'll see you soon, Pete."


End file.
